You're Stranded on an Island with Anne Coulter

[Yavin4]

What are you going to do?

[VOX]

1. Look for another island.

:toast:

[opstachuck]

56. I'd pretend like I was a republican...

spawn with her, tell her i'm a communist, kill the kids, then her, then string them together to make a raft to freedom. when i got back to the US, i'd mail pieces of the dead corpses to her parents and loved ones on her birthday.O8)

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. Easy

start praying every way I know how (most of which will infuriate Ms Coulter).

[trof]

3. open a vein

[JohnKleeb]

4. hang out with the animals

or look for someone else.

[comradebillyboy]

5. take up cannibalism

roast rump of annthrax

mmmmmmmmmm good eatin

[rasputin1952]

19. I initially thought of cannabalism...

but I figured no matter what part I would cook....I still can't stand the thought of eating shit!

[KamaAina]

54. Kinda stringy, though, don't you think?

And besides, on an island, where are you going to come up with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?

:evilgrin:

[ewagner]

6. Suicide is the only option. n/t

[JanMichael]

9. Ditto.

Couldn't do it.

[Catch22Dem]

7. Turn her

And I DON'T mean "over"

[buddhamama]

8. be at peace

it would drive her extremely batty(i know i know she already is) if she couldn't get a rise out me.

[bloom]

33. I like your answer

Meditation would seem like a good thing - except that I would be worried that she would be figuring out how to eat me.

I think I would have to try to build a raft and take my chances.

[ornotna]

10. If I knew it was safe

I'ld become a cannibal.

[BiggJawn]

11. Fatten her up, change her politics...

and try to get her to join the Human Race.

Barring that, I'd just do my Gush Pfleghmball impression (minus butt-crack problem) until she was beside herself with lust then poke her silly...

[KoKo]

12. Run for my life......And figure out how to survive without her! She's

probably "clueless." I could survive.......the only question would be... Would I try to help her?

And........that's a hard one......would take every ounce of my "non fundie" Religious upbringing.....but I would let her "suffer a little" before I gave her a root or berry......She needs to know what "suffering is" to make her human.
:-(

[Catch22Dem]

14. Ewwwwww

I wouldn't give her MY root and berries in a million years!! LOL

[rasputin1952]

22. ROFLMAO!!!!!

n/t

[Catch22Dem]

24. Yes, thank you

I'll be here all week. Catch the 10:45 show. ;)

[eauclaireliberal]

13. RE: You're Stranded on an Island with Anne Coulter

Take my chances and swim.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

15. This is the most unpleasantly titled thread I've ever seen.

What a distressing thought. I would start swimming.

[methinks2]

16. strangle

the witch. After cutting out her tongue and eyes. :evilgrin:

[methinks2]

18. just kidding

really . . . I'm just kidding :evilgrin:

[joefree1]

17. Swept Away Redux?

[Solly Mack]

20. I'm going to.... ac-cent-u-ate the positive, e-lim-in-ate the negative....

.....:)

[NightTrain]

21. Killer her and assure myself a steady supply of meat

I'll just have to beware of the inevitable toxins in Coultermeat!

[w13rd0]

23. That bony beyotch...

...wouldn't even make for a midnight snack...

[nedlogg]

25. Start swimming!

n/t

[ButterflyBlood]

26. I'd say take up cannibalism

but she wouldn't provide much meat. I'd much rather be stranded with Limbaugh for that reason. Maybe I could use her as bait to get some wild animals for food.

[HPLeft]

27. Ever See the Movie "Swept Away"?

:evilgrin:

[leftofthedial]

28. start swimming

Or make him (sic) do it.

[pippin]

29. step 1

step 1.. make a raft.
step 2. tie her to it.
step 3 set raft on fire
step 4. set raft adrift
step 5. say goodbye Anne

[northzax]

48. NO! no viking funerals for Anne

those are for soldiers and heros, not her.

[BigMcLargehuge]

30. use her skinny body as a fish hook

she'd be my chum.

[VermontDem2004]

31. Become friends with her

take up her political leanings, her beliefs, and possibly fall in love. :evilgrin:

[qb]

32. Bite down real hard on that false molar.

[Habibi]

34. Negotiate

You have survival skills. She has . . .well, not much. She agrees to learn. She is seriously jonesing for nicotine and alcohol. You have the advantage . . . Figure it out!

I think Ms. Coulter would do a 180 if she were lacking in what she considered essential.

[CO Liberal]

35. Use Her to Troll for Sharks

:-)

[rainydaywoman]

36. After I killed her...

I'd use her bones, tied together by those nasty stringy locks of fake blond hair, to make a raft. What little meat she has I'd leave for the flies.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

37. Turn her into a flaming liberal who owes me her life by teaching her how

to survive without a TV show.

[TrogL]

38. the mods would ban me

If I went into any details

[kmla]

39. Ask her....

"Where in the hell did you get that Adam's apple? That thing is huge!"

[MissMillie]

40. Build shelter and get food and then tell her...

...that the island is not socialist and she'll have to build her own shelter and find her own food.

Survival of the fittest. And considering she has the IQ of a slug, I imagine she won't last long.

[SonofMass]

41. Practice being a

cunning linguist.

[SiouxJ]

42. Since you need a smoke signal to flag down passing ships

she'd make good kindling. True, she wouldn't burn very long, not as long as most witches, but at least you could get the thing started.

[RetroLounge]

43. Before I did anything I'd have to find out about her

package. If you know what I mean...

[Paragon]

44. Dick Bush & Colin

What?!?

We'd talk about the current administration! :silly:

[Susang]

45. Go insane

Then I wouldn't be responsible for my subsequent actions. :evilgrin:

[DrGonzoLives]

46. Ever seen the movie "Alive"?

Hey, you gotta survive, can't live off sand...

[Parche]

47. I will

Get sick and Hurl an Oreilly on her skinny dress

[Forkboy]

49. Carve her out to make a canoe

[librechik]

50. be really nice and make her love and respect me as a person and

islandmate.

And then reveal I'm a liberal!

Then I'll watch HER open a vein! (I hope not MINE!)

[Hubert Flottz]

51. Feed the shit eating sharks!

:evilgrin:

[nuxvomica]

52. I would convince her that her dad really does love her

Through a series of heart-to-hearts and maybe a little psychodrama. Then I'd work on convincing her that all the really pretty girls keep their dinner in their tummies, were it can nourish them and make them healthy, which they really do deserve to be.
With these goals accomplished, the total breakdown of her conservative delusion begins. We'd begin to talk reasonably about globalization, the BFEE, international trade unionism, civil rights, the death penalty, abortion. If stranded long enough, I even get her to the realization that the Native Americans had their nation stolen and despoiled by white European Christians. This turns out to be the toughest issue but with her demons removed, clarity of thought wins the day once again.
Time passes. We build a "HELP" sign, a hastily arranged grouping of dried palm trunks, lit whenever the distant sound of an approaching plane or copter is heard. With nothing else to do, we add slogans to the sign, like: "HELP/STOP CHIMP/EXPERIMENTS" or "HELP/US ALL/IMPEACH/BUSH."
There's plenty to eat. A lot of fruit in the interior and Ann's learned to catch fish by impaling them on her fingers. I manage to kill a wild boar and after so much fish, we eat the boor meat with gusto. At one point in our feast, Ann holds the boar's head in front of her face and says "Who am I?" "Tucker Carlson?" I reply. "No, silly! Rush Limbaugh!" And we both have a good laugh.

[linazelle]

53. Kill the bitch

'nuff said.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

55. There are two options.

Build a raft out of bamboo and sail away REALLY FAST, leaving her to fend for herself, or beat the shit out of her, deprive her of protein and convert her cult style. The first thing that came to my mind was suicide, but that would just make her too happy...you know? One less Democrat for her to compete with? Murder is a good option too...
Duckie