Never look up with your mouth open

[oneighty]

when Seagulls are flying above you. I am pulling
my crab traps. I empty the traps of the old rotten
fish (Menhaden) which is used to attract the crabs.
I have several bushels of fresh frozen Menhaden
with which I rebait the crab traps. Hungry seagulls
follow the boat, swooping down onto the water,
eating the discarded bait.


Tricia, my wife, is throwing fresh bait up into the air.
She watches the gulls catch the fish in mid air. Soon
a whole flock of gulls are circling above the boat
waiting their turn. "Tricia do not feed the gulls like that."
I yell at her.

Meanwhile back at the crab dock an entrepreneur
is hard at work developing crabless crabcakes.
She is using Flounder meat in place of crab meat.
Flounder is far cheaper than crab meat. It had
been determined by people that know about those
things, that most people like crabcakes because
of the spices, and cannot tell the difference in
flavor between fishcakes or crabcakes.
It is legal to do this. All that is necessary is to
state in the lable (In very fine print) that fish has been
used in place of crab meat.

Back aboard the crab boat Tricia is still throwing
fish up into the air, feeding the gulls. About that
time a Seagull poops on my head, splat. Tricia
says "Oh!" I say "Oh shit!" The seagull laughs.
But that is why you should never look up
with your mouth open when Seagulls are
overhead.

On the way back to the dock a Pelican
is sitting on top of a waterway marker.
I say "Hello Pelican" The Pelican turns his
butt to me, bends over. Tricia is laughing
"Pelican just told you to kiss his ass"

Tricia still laughs about that day. I do too,
but not very hard.

180

[JitterbugPerfume]

1. HaHa

Ed, do not be such a SH@@ HEAD!!!

I like that story

You can too tell the difference in REAL crabcakes!!!!!

[KG]

2. the book. the world needs this in book form, 180

it just may save humanity!!! :)

[oneighty]

3. You are too kind KG

It is fun to laugh!

Just ask Tricia!

Ed

[FarLeftRage]

4. Hi 180, great story!

I don't mean to distract from this, but whatever became of the plan for us upstaters getting together?

[Rowdyboy]

5. Excellent story....

I can almost smell the salt water.

I've heard people say that crab-flavored fish is "just a good" but I just can't see it. The imitation crab meat I've tried just doesn't taste the same to me....Course, if you gave me a blind taste test, I'd probably fail to tell the difference.

[oneighty]

6. Smell the salt water?

I can almost taste the poop.

Where are you Rowdyboy?

PM me if you would.

Ed