Kerry is ahead on the latrine walls in Iraq

[roguevalley]

This is so funny, I posted the whole thing. Sorry. Read it all. Too great.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1548&e=15&u=/afp/iraq_us_vote

(Similar story on a soldier's blog: http://ftssoldier.blogspot.com/2004/09/free-speech-for-soldiers.html)

AFP Features
AFP
Kerry beats Bush ... in US marine latrines

Thu Sep 30,11:24 AM ET


AL-ASAD AIRBASE, Iraq (AFP) - The US military, which traditionally avoids meddling in politics, is expressing its views about the US presidential race in the one place where a soldier can speak his mind freely: the latrines.

Here, in graffiti, young soldiers wax philosophical -- albeit crudely and with a fondness for four-letter words -- about God, death, President George W. Bush (news - web sites) and his democratic rival John Kerry (news - web sites).

And if one straw poll is to be believed on this gigantic air base in the western Iraqi desert, Kerry is due to rout Bush in the November 2 elections after the Massachusetts senator picked up 73 votes to 58 on the bathroom wall.

However, the vote has come in for criticism amid suspicions Kerry supporters voted more than once due to the identical hashmarks on his side of the column inside the foul, humid brown and green plastic stalls, known as "Port-a-Johns".

While independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader (news - web sites) received nary a mention, some marines nominated pornography kingpins Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt onto the latrine wall ballots.

Heavy Metal gods Slayer and Rob Zombie received 11th-hour nominations from men in uniform to run for the White House.

The bathroom wall vents a surprising amount of anger over Bush, considered by many rank-and-file a great wartime president, and heaps a mountain of cynicism on the US presence in Iraq (news - web sites).

Much of the bile is dedicated to denigrating Bush's homestate of Texas, the land of cowboys and toughness that has come to define his wartime presidency.

"Here I sit cheeks a-flexin'. Bout to make another Texan," one rhyme reads, repeated in multiple stalls.

"Fuck Texas" reads another slogan, prompting threats of death from a defender of the Lonestar state.

Another slogan reads: "Texas = steers and queers," in a crude verbal assault on Texans' code of manhood.

One diatribe says: "The only thing Bush cares about is a good fight to make a name for himself. If you think he really cares about us you're out of your fucking mind. If you really believe 9/11 is related to Iraq then you're just as delusional as the hippie that thinks there will ever be world peace.

"You're not fighting for America. You're fighting for fucked-up politics. End of story Cinderella."

Another pundit opines: "If you are a retard, vote Bush. He is too!"

Bush supporters fire back with accusations that Kerry will sink the military. They belittle his military service in Vietnam and write: "A traitor ever since Vietnam, when he lied about his actions," in reference to charges brought against Kerry by a dubious group of military veterans in August.

"If you want a huge pay cut, vote Kerry," writes one bathroom scribe, voicing the grunt soldier's belief that the Democrats will gut the armed forces.

"If you want a pussy in office vote Kerry."

But Kerry gets off scot-free compared to Bush who is called "a scumbag, alcoholic, draft-dodging millionaire daddy's boy," in reference to Bush's wild youth and lingering questions about his national guard service during Vietnam.

Commenting on the marines' bathroom debating society, Lieutenant Josh Walton suggested the stalls had a loosening effect on the soldiers, especially the service's smaller number of Kerry supporters.

"You can put out what you want. It's pretty anonymous," Walton said. "If you want to be a jokester, express what you feel, you can put it up there."

Amid the scrawled expletives -- interspersed with rants against female marines and paeans to the virtues of other soldiers' wives, sisters and mothers -- some men offered sober and cynical reflections on the American mission in Iraq.

In black magic marker, a soldier scrawled a maxim from Plato that rings true whoever wins the November election: "Only the dead have seen the end of war."

[mike6640]

1. are they sure about this?

I would like to believe the story, but the graphics shown in your (edit) Yahoo (edit) link look suspiciously like a photoshop document.

I used to be a draftsman, and would be hard pressed to print 'four more years' and make it look like a photoshop text deformation.

If this is part of their evidence, they have been Rathered.

off topic: Kerry handed Bush's ass to him in tonight's debate.

ON edit: It says AFP/Illustration below pic

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. This is so wonderful!

WOO HOO!!

[rppper]

3. great story...shithouse artists in the military are famous/infamous

when i was in the navy, the stalls in the heads of the bathroom contained bins which held the toilet paper, each roll wrapped in a paper cover. these covers were exposed and were always filled with comments about the captain, the mission, the girl in italy that gave whomever the crabs, caricatures of fellow sailors...whatever....i always found it to be quite humorous and brutally honest. and you would be surprised at the dexterity of some of the artwork. some of it bordered on masterpieces of pencil/pen art...and yes texas was always the brunt of someones jokes. i wish i would have saved some of it or took pictures and made a book...i would be a millionaire......

edited 'cause i forgot to spell check....duh!!!