Running a household deficet, what should I do?

[Nikia]

Maybe, I am over reacting, but it makes me nervous when I put my check in the bank and discover that we had been over drawn or we aren't overdrawn but there will not be enough money to pay all the bills. Last month I took a cash advance from my credit card. We even got anniversary money from his parents. We have been in serious trouble since his bosses company went bankrupt. When I was sick, lost pay from time off from work, and had doctors bills, that set us back further. My husband is currently not working and that has depressed him. Due to major differences of how we view money (We scored 0% on that portion of the marital compatibility test) I pretty much let him handle all the money. I can't make him do anything so what should I do? The main things that have prevented me from getting a second job so far are my continued sickness at a lower level, trying to get a different full time job,and stress and fatigue.

[msturgis524]

1. Work Less hours

Work is just holding you back from your growth. Its punishing you. If you just take in less income you can grow out of your current problems.

[gospelized]

2. whatever you do

don't forget Poland.

[fknobbit]

7. and remember that Halliburton has 2 ll's when sending in your taxes.

[molly]

3. Consumer Credit Counseling

they are free and will help you get back on your feet. They will contact your debtors and work out a livable budget so that you live without getting awful phone calls. They will also cut up your credit cards.

[serryjw]

5. VERY bad idea!

It shows on your credit report the same way bankrupcy does and they could at least benefit from starting fresh.
If you can't print money. I would contact all the medical bills and make reasonable arrangements that would slowly get you out of this mess. When I was going thru cancer I made arrangements for years with my mortgage company. they want to hear from you. any money shows them that you are trying

[molly]

8. I know someone that did it - they were fine

and it DOES NOT show on your report the same as bankrupt. This is a free angency and your credit report shows that you have repaid your obligations. It is CCC - not a for profit agency.

[amazona]

11. unfortunately I know someone who did it and they weren't fine

The husband had cancer and couldn't work full time. Going the CCC route and being unable to take out more loans at a time when loans were badly needed was an unwise decision. They ended up declaring bankruptcy anyway.

[DavidFL]

21. Accounts with a CCCS aren't marked BK on a credit report...

they're notated as being with a CCCS. However, entering into a CCCS program hurts your FICO score the same as if you filed for Ch. 13 BK. The credit scoring formula doesn't care how you got behind on your bills, it just sees you're having trouble and assumes you're having problems managing your finances. As many consumer finance companies, landlords, etc. rely on FICO scores to make decisions as to whether to grant someone credit, or rent an apt., that's how CCCS can hurt.

[Deja Q]

22. That's nuts!

People use these CCCS places to avoid bankruptcy.

It is grossly unethical for them to equate a CCCS client with someone who filed chapter 13!

I may as well file chapter 13 then, and save myself some money.

Sheesh. I know I had credit card trouble, but I always paid my landlord on time.

Don't forget, job managers look at credit scores of job candidates as well. Apparently, one's home life is identical to one's work life. :eyes:

[JPace]

6. Credit counseling....

be careful and pick a not for profit agency. Ask around
and do your homework before picking one. Couples will
often listen to a counselors guidance without the
resentment that would be there if the same advice came
from a spouse. In this repug economy you are not alone,
many are just one paycheck away from financial ruin.
Good luck!

[amazona]

10. might as well go ahead and declare bankruptcy

I wouldn't give up my credit rating or my credit cards without a fight. It sounds like at the moment she needs credit (cash advances) to live. She is ill, and her husband is jobless. Not a time to give up your credit.

[soothsayer]

4. Resolve those major differences and handle the finances together

Work out a budget so you guys can see your way out of your debt, then act on it together.

[amazona]

9. it does sound stressful

Absolutely it would make me nervous to discover that when I went to deposit a check, there wasn't enough money there to pay bills or even the possibility of checks bouncing -- which means more bills. I am a little bit of a control freak anyway, so I always do the bills and handle the money, rather than my partner.

If you are recovering from illness, I don't know how wise it is to take on a second job. Why can't your husband work a part-time job while searching for his "real" job?

Anyway, when I am short on funds, I have several tricks. In my area, you can put a classified ad in the paper for free to sell any item under $100. If you have something gathering dust, maybe try that. I was even pretty good at finding and fixing up stuff people threw out and selling it, but again if you are not well, it might be more important to rest. I also took out cash advances on credit cards for years, and it's a good time for it, as interest rates are low and you often get great offers. HOWEVER, you have to be very well organized and make the minimum payment due every month or the whole house of cards comes crashing down. In your shoes -- and at one time I was very much in your shoes, chronically ill, very low income -- I did the cash advance off the credit cards and just kept great records. I could always get the $20 or $50 needed to pay off the minimum each month. Then, when times were better and I had an opportunity to earn a decent income, I was surprised at how quickly I could pay them off, because I was used to living on little.

The only reason I hesitate to suggest this to you, knowing how well it worked for me, is I'm not sure your husband is on the team with you. If he is going to handle the money, he needs to make a commitment to make the minimum payment due on ALL bills as they come in. Because if the minimum payments are not paid -- and the credit card companies figure out he is jobless and you are ill and not well paid -- they will not extend any more credit. And then you're screwed. You can't ever let them figure out your true situation. Better times will come, and you will be able to pay your bills, but for now the focus should be on getting rested up, getting your husband a job, and keeping the minimums paid so the CC companies don't get suspicious.

[Obamarama]

12. Here's what I would do....

1) BEFORE you go through the hassle and humiliation of sitting down with a complete stranger (Credit counsellor) call your credit card companies and other creditors and explain to them your situation.

Tell them you plan to fully honor your debt, but that it's difficult to make full minimum payments at the moment. They might ask you what you feel you could make. LOWBALL IT, as they will likely encourage you to make a higher payment than the amount you tell them. If you can afford to pay $20 a month, tell them $15. They will likely counter with "Well, do you think you could do $25?" That gives you room to "meet them halfway" by "offering" $20. Some companies will allow you to make a reduced minimum payment for as long as up to 18 months as long as you don't MISS a payment. Also ask if you can suspend the accrual of interest during the time you're making reduced payments. This will keep your balance from increasing. They won't just offer this, you have to ask for it. Sometimes they will, sometimes you won't.

2) DO NOT CHARGE YOUR LIVING EXPENSES OR TAKE CASH ADVANCES. That will only compound the problem. Easier said than done, I know.

3) Get your husband out of the house and volunteering when he isn't job hunting. This accomplishes a couple important things:

a) Helps him focus on something other than the situation at hand.

b) He's doing SOMETHING constructive. What does he do for a living? Non profit organizations need people with expertise in all kinds of areas. Maybe there is a non-profit in your area that might need the skills he uses in his profession/trade when he is working. This will keep him active and familiar with his job-related skills, AND it's something he can put on his resume/job app instead of a big blank spot between his last job and his next.

c) The psychology of being unemployed and experiencing financial difficulties is very draining as I am sure you are both well aware. Volunteering is a way of giving something back to society, and that can be an important emotion/feeling/experience to have and give one a sense of accomplishment.

Good luck, and know that you are NOT ALONE!

[Nikia]

15. We have credit protection which we thought was supposed to help

It turns out that both of us would have to stop working in order to qualify. I suppose that we could try to talk to them into reducing the payments.
I think that it would help if my husband did something. It helps him to even help out a friend cut down tress or with wiring or their computers. If he worked with an organization,in addition to helping more people, they might be able to help him with references and such.

[cmf]

13. Find out what you are spending money on

Write down everything in a ledger or on a spreasheet. The only way to cut expenses is to know where you are spending it. You and he need to work together to get out of debt.

[Nikia]

14. That might help

I did grow up poor and know that we could go a bit leaner on some things. Other things would be more difficult (We rent from one of the few land lords who allows dogs and arne't going to give him up). From my rough estimation, I make enough money to cover all the fixed bills. We need more money, like from my husband working again, to cover everything else to cover food,gas, prescription drugs, and anything else. The credit cards seem like a black hole.

[Senior citizen]

19. Are all the fixed bills really fixed?

When I found myself with major debts, I discovered that some of my fixed bills weren't really fixed and that I could get along without some of them. Sometimes you can find a cheaper internet service provider, or get a cheaper rate by cutting out the frills. Is the electric bill slashed to the bone? Do you unplug the TV when not in use? Do you have a long distance phone provider that doesn't bill you at all unless you actually make a long distance call, and can you simply refrain from making such calls?

Check out food banks and cooperative buying groups for food. Some have maximum income requirements or require that you put in volunteer time, but most do not.

Calculate driving expenses (include maintenance, insurance, etc.) and see if it would be cheaper to use public transportation for all or part of your commute, or if there are van pools. If you're in a rural area with extreme weather, you probably need a car, but most people in urban areas do not. Rural areas usually allow pets and livestock, urban areas don't, but suburbia is the worst of both worlds, where you're not far enough out of the city to have the advantages, but far enough away to have to commute.

Are the prescription drugs really helping? I'm really lucky in that I don't take any, but if my doctor had her way I'd be taking at least 6 different types of pills a day for the rest of my life. I found that simple changes in my lifestyle and diet would eliminate the need for what I've been prescribed so far, but I know that it doesn't work for people with serious health problems. Nowadays many people get their prescriptions from Canada or Mexico to save money.

I don't know what the "anything else" is, but if you check out http://www.freecycle.org you might find that somebody in your area is giving it away. Also, many areas have organizations for people who are willing to barter the goods or services they can provide, for what others have that they need. If there isn't a barter group or a food buying cooperative in your area, you might think of starting one.

Credit cards are almost a black hole, but not quite. It is possible to get out of debt. On the other hand, I've found that they can be addictive, and that it is easier to get out of debt than to stay out of debt. Good luck!

On edit: Post #16 says it all -- essentials only.

2nd edit: OVERDRAWN? I once knew a couple who were spending more on overdraft fees every month than my entire monthly income. I suggested that if they wanted to throw money away, they were welcome to throw it my way. They soon found ways to avoid being overdrawn. The problem was that they had seperate checkbooks and debit cards, and didn't always know if the other had written a check or used the debit card. After my comment, they got in the habit of phoning each other before making a purchase or payment, to see if the balance in their checkbook was up to date.

[serryjw]

16. Please READ before you do anything.......

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Savinganddebt/Managedebt/P36234.asp

http://hffo.cuna.org/story.html?doc_id=350&sub_id=15378

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/pubarticles/Finance/credit_counselor.html

The whole idea is to HELP you. If in the long run it does more damage than not , you really didn't accomplish anything. There is NO sense declaring bankrupcy UNTIL you are on the way to recovery from illness and unemployment behind you. ONCE the bankrupcy court accepts your debt it is over for 7 years and you can't do it again.

After being in VERY tough financial condition during cancer recovery; I agree with one of the other posters. WRITE down EVERYTHING you buy and all bills. Cable gets turned off, cell phones off, all magazines cancelled. You are in survival mode. That is rent/mortagage food, meds and utilies. NO GOODIES! If I have to I can live including food on $700/monthly! No one wants to but I can do it.....figure out where your money is going.

[gmoney]

17. Make no major decisions until after election day

That's one thing I keep telling myself... I'm not in the state of mind.

If you can get a second job, couldn't hubby take that as a FIRST job?

Of course, if you can win amateur night at the strip club, maybe an online porn site is your key to riches.

Or you could always try the Canadian lottery scam detailed on last week's 60 Minutes.

These days risking a prison record might be a better bet than bankruptcy...

[IronLionZion]

18. Have your husband work part-time while looking for a job

Many places would love to hire an adult instead of a stupid kid (like me). The obvious choices are fast food and wal-mart but there are probably other jobs out there that would pay more like mowing lawns for the state or working at toll booths or something. If he has trouble getting one of those low-paying jobs for being over-qualified then just lie about your situation. Don't let them know that he's looking for a job or that he has any skills. They basically want someone who will show up on time and won't quit right away.

[grasswire]

20. have you considered eBay?

I've been an eBay seller for six years. While it is not the money tree it once was, it is still an enormous opportunity for hundreds of thousands of people.

1. It can provide some quick cash by just selling usable things around your home that you no longer need or want. Old wedding gifts gathering dust? Clothes that didn't quite suit you? Any vintage items, oddities, white elephants, gadgets, gizmos? IMO, almost anyone can bring $2000 income within a week just by clearing out unwanted items on eBay. Yes, within a week. Cash in your hands within a week.

Remember, your listings are viewed by millions of people worldwide 24/7. The opportunity is there for the taking.

2. Your hubby might very well find a way to make a LOT of money on eBay as a PT job until the economy improves. The sky is truly the limit if you find a niche. Buy wholesale, sell retail.

The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is check to see how much money I made during the night. It's a thrill. I have a handicapped daughter and can't work away from home, so it's been a lifesaver.

There are a lot of DU-ers who sell on eBay who would be glad to provide advice.

[Mizmoon]

23. I didn't have much luck on ebay

the expenses eat up the profits very quickly.

Apply for food stamps. I know - everyone hates that idea. The truth is it's one of the easiest programs to qualify for and it can save you over $100 per month. You have paid taxes for years and there is nothing wrong with getting something back from the government when you need it.

[gmoney]

24. Bush suggests: Tax Cuts for the Rich

That'll fix everything

[MallRat]

25. Do what Bush did: Start a war and use it as an excuse for budget woes.

Sorry... I couldn't resist a jab there.

-MR