Rove's new requested rules for the next debate

[johnnie]

I know you people can think of some really good ones. I can start with a few.

1) Senator Kerry's use of words that are more than 2 syllables are strictly prohibited. The American people don't understand them big words...yeah, the American people.

2) 3WPWT will now be used instead of "Wrong War, Wrong place and wrong time" as to save the President time, and making it less likely he will mess up the whole phrase.

3) When the President is done speaking his initial point, hit the red light right away. This will end the President's alloted time and he will not have to repeat what he has said 4-5 more times.

4) The twins have requested seats closer to the wet bar, can that be arranged?

5) The President has also requested his podium is placed closer to the wet bar. To be closer to his daughters.

6) The President has complained about the condition of the mirror and blades placed backstage for him. Please make sure the mirror is dry and the blades are not double edged.



Ok, I'm not as funny as most of you, but you get my drift. Got any more?

[Sandpiper]

1. # 7

7) At the end of every 15 minute interval the moderator will say, "Mr. President, not a question, just wanted to say thank you for keeping us safe."

[Shoeempress]

2. And John Kerry will not be allowed to speak or look up from his lectern

[LibDemAlways]

3. John Kerry will

have a gag firmly inserted in his mouth and tied around his neck with no fewer than three knots -- however, in the interest of fairness, no other obstructions to his answers will be permitted.

Mr. Bush does not wish to see the actual questions in advance. However, transcriptions of the questions, in a font other than that which will actually be used in the debate, are to be submitted to Mr. Rove no less than 72 hours prior to the moment when Mr. Bush takes the stage.

Questions will be in multiple choice format and "lifelines" will be in place - should the candidates need them. No penalty shall be assessed to any candidate requiring a lifeline. Candidates may phone a knowledgable friend, poll the audiece, ask that two wrong choices be eliminated, or simply request a new question. Use of lifelines shall be unlimited.

[johnnie]

4. LOL

Lifelines..that's funny. Maybe a good SNL skit???