LADIES!! Does this make me look fat?

[achtung_circus]

is one of those questions for which there is no correct answer.

I think another is hair colour.

My lady love is now out getting her hair recoloured from the red I love to a darker auburn with caramel highlights.

The question will be "do you like it better?

It doesn't really matter to me. It's not my hair, I'd love her if she were bald, it's window dressing for the face, the eyes I could swim in.

These are bad answers. Is there a good one?

HELP.
edited for clarity, or lack therof.

[dolo amber]

1. Well,

"...it's window dressing for the face, the eyes I could swim in."

There's your answer. ;)

[achtung_circus]

2. Ya think? nt

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. The correct answer is: "no, your ass makes you look fat."

You may suffer severe pain for a while after saying this, but she will never ask the question again.

[achtung_circus]

6. For clarity, nothing could make her look fat,

it's the unanswerable questions like that one which I fear.

doloamber may be on to something, though.

[Skittles]

10. or

Do these pants make me look fat?

"It's not the pants." :o

[Blue-Jay]

4. It's best to fake a seizure.

Then when she goes to call an ambulance, jump out the window and run.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. If I'M asking the question, I really want an answer.

Just I don't ask that question. I am fat. I don't pretend I'm not.
Duckie

[meegbear]

7. From Married ... with Children

"This dress makes me look fat."
"It's not the dress that makes you look fat. It's the FAT that makes you look fat."

[NC_Nurse]

8. I vote for

Dolo Amber's answer. That's the kind of thing my husband always says and it gets him EVERYWHERE! :P

[achtung_circus]

9. Well she just phoned,

the deed is done. She's going to have coffee with a girlfriend, get her reaction, then she'll be here.

In the absence of other options I'm going with doloamber's input.

Thanks, all.

[SOteric]

11. I'd go with a simple

"You always look incredibly beautiful to me, and yes, I'm biased." Followed by a quick kiss and a rapid change of the subject.