I fucking hate George Lucas

[progdonkey]

I just got the Star Wars Trilogy DVD set, unaware that it's actually the "Star Wars Special Edition with even more 'improvements' by POS Lucas." The set was marketed as being the "Star Wars Trilogy," so I of course thought it was the originals FINALLY on DVD. Unfortunately, Lucas has fucked the Star Wars fans over AGAIN. It has all of the Special Edition bullshit, yet has even more. And we're not talking minor changes; we're talking changes that warp the whole logic and story arc. One especially heinous destruction of logic is the appearance of Haydn Christensen as the ghost of Anakin at the end of Jedi, instead of the original, older Anakin. This makes absolutely no sense, and is just an obvious attempt to tie the originals into the Prequels-who-shall-not-be-named.

Unless you must absolutely get your Star Wars fix (in which case your just another fan being spit on by Lucas), DO NOT buy this set. Lucas has gone out of his way to destroy the original Star Wars trilogy--even going so far as to mold the originals to the prequels. I have my own psychological theory as to his purposes (simple corporate whorism doesn't explain why he will only sell the fucked-up versions), but I'm too pissed to spell that out now.

To steal a description from the new Daily Show book: "George Lucas is a worthless piece of shit. Fuck him. His existence is a taint, not just in the sense of a "stain on the movie industry," but literally a taint--the anatomical area between the anus and the testicles. I hate George Lucas."

[fujiyama]

1. Wow

going as far as to change the ACTORS in the originals is pretty bad. I have the SE (or atleast I think it's SE...It's the one with the gold box) on VHS and while there were some changes there that annoyed me (like the Han Solo not shooting first), they were rather minor and I think I could live with them.

Several years ago, I noticed people selling bootlegs of the original Star Wars trilogy which was basically a rip of the LD copies released several years before (this edition was digitally remastered but didn't have the extra scenes which were released in the theaters in '97 or so...so they are basically untainted). Apparently the rips weren't bad. After all they were digital transfers. The quality of the sound and video was still pretty good apparently...You might be able to google them. Granted, that means shelling over more $$$.

[BigMcLargehuge]

38. oops, posted in wrong place...

oops, posted in wrong place... look down.

[TaleWgnDg]

2. ummmm, you know you're not a Star Wars aficionado when . . .

you don't know wtf these guys are talking about . . .

[bowens43]

16. Some people take these things WAY too seriously.

[ReadTomPaine]

3. Amazing his hubris and arrogance, isn't it?

The brother of an old friend, an accomplished architect, approached him during a film premiere party being held in a building that this gentleman had designed. After introducing himself and discussing the building and a few other items, he gave a gentle nod of appreciation to Lucas for giving him some inspiration when he was a child.

Amazingly, Lucas sneered at him, turned to a friend and said "See? These are the kinds of people I have to deal with every day. Can you believe what I have to put up with?"

Lucas was never really talented the way most people assume, but was wise enough to see talent in others and surround himself with them. At least he was able to do that when he was younger. Now that ego has all but consumed him, dark side style, and made him into what he is today.

From the changes in characterizations (Greedo shoots first, then Han shoots first, now both shoot at the same time), to questionable messages (Anakin was evil but keeps his youthful shape in the afterlife, Obi Wan was good but keeps his aged, weak body as his reward), to the ridiculous 'scientific' explanation of force, to the insistence of pushing Jar-Jar/Gungans on a hostile audience (You'll see them and you'll like it, dammit!) he's shown that his films are primarily constructed to stroke his ego and create licensing tie-ins.

RTP

[progdonkey]

17. my psychological theory

I mentioned in my first post that I had come up with a rough psychological explanation for his apparent need to destroy Star Wars, and your andecdote in your post fits perfectly with my theory.

George Lucas prided himself on having gotten Star Wars made without the help of the big studios; it was a triumph of the artist over Corporate Hollywood. He was already an accomplished director, having the art-house THX 1138 and the wonderful American Graffiti under his belt. His idea was that he would make this Sci-Fi Opera trilogy, and then move on to other types of movies, much like his friend Steven Spielberg.

Unfortunately for him, Star Wars came to define his existence. Like Mark Hamill, he has had no career since the Star Wars trilogy because he is too closely identified with it; Hamill as Luke, Lucas as the Creator. He has been made fabulously wealthy, both from Star Wars and from ILM which grew out of it. Yet, he has become the Corporate Studio Exec he wanted hardest to avoid becoming.

Had he not made the Star Wars trilogy, he probably wouldn't be as wealthy, but he probably would have been able to continue the career he had going with American Graffiti and then the Indiana Jones Trilogy with Steven Spielberg; he would still be the "artist" and not the corporate whore. So, he hates Star Wars. He hates that he ever made it; the trilogy brings him no joy, for it is the thing that set him on the path towards being a corporate whore.

There are literally hundreds of millions of people in this world (maybe even a cool billion), who, at the very least, have fond memories of Star Wars. When these people are exposed to Star Wars, they are presented with feelings of happiness, joy, nostalgia; all positive experiences. How does a person respond to those who adore that which he hates? Much like a person who grows up in a violent household may resent those who grew up in a loving household, Lucas holds them in contempt.

So, we are at an impasse; what do you do when you are adored by those whom you hold in contempt? You abuse their adoration; you give them reason to hate you; you destroy the thing they love. If he was going to be a corporate whore, he was going to bring the Star Wars Trilogy with him.

Enter the Prequels.

The Special Edition Trilogy was a warm-up to the Prequels; would those pathetic fans allow the original Trilogy to be toyed with? Would they slavishly go to whatever Lucas put out? Yes, the Trilogy was a success. He knew he could do anything he wanted to the SW Universe, and the fans would come.

Lucas went a step further with TPM. He brought in full-scale racial bigotry: the annoying minstrel show that is Jar-Jar binks or the sickening stereotype of the slinty-eyed Jappo-Trade Federation; but the fans still came! The Attack of the Clones was an absolutely dreadful piece of shit; the writing, acting, logic, story... but those fucking fans still came!

Now, many fans hoped that they could just ignore the Prequels and the Special Edition--just give us the originals that we loved so much, and we'll be happy!--but Lucas couldn't allow that, so he proceeded to alter the beloved originals to match the far-inferior Prequels; the fans can no longer escape the reach of the virus that is the Prequels. Lucas is thinking: I can do whatever I want to these people; they love this piece of shit so much that they'll tolerate any changes I make.

If it were just a need for more money, why not provide the viewers a choice? Why not sell both the Originals and the Special Editions. Because it's not just about making money. Lucas wants the fans to hate Star Wars like he does, or, if they still must love it, to never feel the exact same love for it as they did the first time they saw it. The changes, no matter how minor, will always remind the viewer that "this is not what you loved," and it will slowly push them away, and Lucas will finally be able to get this thing that made him a corporate whore to die.

[ReadTomPaine]

19. Interesting!

There's a lot of truth in this, and I agree with much of it. It also seems that the farther you go from his control, the better the stories seem to get - for instance, plotwise, "Knights of the Old Republic" is widely acknowledged to be superior to any SW work on film since Empire was released.

RTP

[progdonkey]

22. I adore that game

That game had so much atmosphere--just walking around the different cities and mingling with the crowds. I hadn't felt immersed in a game like that in a long time.

[FunBobbyMucha]

33. I agree that Lucas is vastly overrated.

It's not like he personally designed the characters, the sets, etc. Essentially, he just wrote that "dialogue," the worst assemblage of technojargon and oblique references ever committed to celluloid. As Harrison Ford famously complained, "You can write this shit, George, but you can't say it."

Even his input on Raiders is, I figure, eclipsed by the real talent that Spielberg brought to the game. Compare THX to Duel if you doubt the base talent that each man started with.

[ET Awful]

4. Here's a little hint for you . . . .

It's HIS movie, and HIS universe. He has the right to do whatever the hell he likes with them. If you don't like it, don't watch it. All of his changes make perfect sense, as they provide continuity of story line.

If you don't like it, that's your problem, not his.

[ReadTomPaine]

5. And it's my right equally to point out the many flaws.

That's a hint for you.

RTP

[ET Awful]

7. Yes, but seeing how it's his universe, and his creation, not yours,

what you consider to be flaws isn't really all that important to him, nor should it be.

Tell you what, once you create an entire world, make movies about it, populate it with characters of your creation and create story lines around those characters, you can complain.

Until then, you're just pissing into the wind.

Nothing he changed made ANY difference to the overall story line. Nothing he changed affected the real story line in any way whatsoever. To pretend to be a purist over someone elses creation is bordering on just being a fantical fan boy.

[ReadTomPaine]

12. I disagree...

... but I doubt I'll make any headway with a Star Wars fundamentalist.

Enjoy them!

RTP.

[ET Awful]

13. Has nothing to do with being a "fundamentalist" of any kind, other than

someone agrees with the fundamental right of the creator of a work to alter that work as he sees fit.

[ReadTomPaine]

14. On the contrary, you seem to think he's above criticism...

... when he's one of the most disappointing filmmakers in recent memory from as early as the mid 1980's. Incidentally, I have the right to say whatever I please about these films, and I find your refutation of this amusing and irrational. I don't have to 'create a world' to gain the right to complain. It's pretty apparent that you are the 'fanboy'. I enjoy some of his work, but the vast majority is mediocre. Some people are easy to please, however.

RTP

[ET Awful]

20. I'm not the one claiming to HATE someone for maintaining

control over their creation.

You're the one that now says they hate the creator of the film because he altered his own film.

If you don't like it, that's your problem, not Lucas's. I'm not the one expressing the fanboy purist whining. I'm simply defending the artists right to maintain artistic license over their own work.

You're stating you hate Lucas because he doesn't cater to your desires.

[ReadTomPaine]

23. You are all over the map.

First I'm a 'fanboy', then I hate him, then I'm a 'fanboy' again. Can you make up your mind? I didn't start this thread, did you notice? I don't hate him - I find him to largely be a mediocre filmmaker. I don't think I've gone to a theater see a Lucas film in over 10 years. You seem the type who waits for days in the rain to buy tickets.

While I dislike his personality there are plenty of arrogant people I dislike more. Your fixation on adulating him is like a dog protecting his bone. Well you can have your bone. Go and enjoy it.

RTP.

[ET Awful]

24. Since you have a complete inability to recognize the obvious,

you are a FANBOY as it pertains the original films, with your pompous belief that they are somehow unalterable because YOU don't think they should be.

I'm not "all over the map" I'm exactly where I have been. If you'd quit hopping up and down with your temper tantrum over someone defending Lucas's right to do with HIS movie as he seees fit, you might recognize that.

[ReadTomPaine]

26. And, once again....

It's my right to criticize it as I see fit. Just as it's yours to voice your own opinion regarding mine. See how nicely that works?

RTP.

[ET Awful]

27. LOL. . . All I see is someone expressing how much they HATE

someone for altering their own creation.

[ReadTomPaine]

28. Then you aren't looking. <n/t>

[Pert_UK]

8. NIcely sympathetic there..........

Good to see you sticking up for the little guy who considers himself to have been misled, rather than the multi-multi-millionaire businessman who's cynically manipulated the release dates of video, video special addition and DVD purely to increase his wealth.

Oh, hang on a minute..........

Never mind the utterly gratuitous, insanely non-sensical "improvements" that this tit has been making to the original classics.

P.

[ET Awful]

11. In this case, the "little guy" doesn't need sticking up for

He's whining about someone else altering their OWN artistic creation. If he doesn't like it, that's not the problem of the person that created it.

[Pert_UK]

29. Well if Da Vinci had gone back and shat on the Mona Lisa.......

I suspect that many people would have been pissed off.

Effectively, this is like Da Vinci:

- charging people to look at the Mona Lisa in a gallery
- then charging to borrow it
- then releasing black and white copies
- then releasing colour copies
- taking a big old shit on the original
- starting the process all over again.

I agree that what Lucas does "artistically" is his own affair, but making stupid, inconsistent, self-contradictory, unsubtle changes to one of the most critically acclaimed films of all time should not be welcomed without criticism, especially when it is ostensibly done to make money.

IMHO of course.

P.

[ET Awful]

30. Critically acclaimed?

Actually it was critically bashed and lambasted.

As to the ludicrous DaVinci comparison, if it were possible, that would be the artists right.

But, since further technological ability did not come around that allowed Da Vinci to fulfill his original vision for the painting, since Da Vinci never authorized wide scale distribution of his painting, Da Vinci never authorized reproduction of his painting, he never allowed action figures of his painting, etc., I'd say your argument is severely flawed.

Not to mention comparing The Mona Lisa to Star Wars is completely ludicrous to begin with.

[ReadTomPaine]

31. In 77-78, the first Star Wars film won over 25 awards including 6 Oscars

I think it was well recieved.

RTP.

[ET Awful]

32. That doesn't equate to critics loving it

That equates to the voters in the Academy liking it.

Most critics at the time ridiculed it as being a kids movie.

[ReadTomPaine]

35. The other awards included the LA Film Critics Association, the Hugo...

... the Golden Globe, Director's Guild, The British Society of Cinematographers and many others outside of the Academy. Sorry, but you're wrong on this as well.

RTP.

[ET Awful]

44. You never actually read any of the reviews of the movie at the time

did you?

I'm going to have to assume that you didn't, considering you show an absolute lack of knowledge of what the critics said about the movie.

[ReadTomPaine]

45. Still trying?

I'm never going to convince a true believer like yourself. You are entitled to your opinion that Star Wars was poorly received, despite all the documented evidence to the contrary. The LA Film Critics Association, among others, disagrees with you. I'll tend to side with them over you for some reason.

RTP

[ET Awful]

48. Feel free, I'll side with the actual REVIEWS that I personally read

at the time. In fact, that's when I first became convinced that most movie reviewers are full of shit because I disagreed with them so completely.

I'm not the only one that remembers this FACT.

http://www.scifidimensions.com/Mar01/starwars.htm

Star Wars and all the subsequent movies in the franchise have been almost universally panned by critics, but they rank among the top-selling films of all time.

http://www.towson.edu/~flynn/cult.htm

The New Yorker claimed that “Star Wars” was “an epic without a dream . . . leaping comic book hedonism.

I can find more if you like.

[Pert_UK]

36. Jesus.....you really have a problem with people stating opinions....

Regardless of what you think, Star Wars was viewed as a groundbreaking work of cinema, insomuch as it represented a step-change in the use of models and tecnology to produce realistic special effects.

Over the years it has been consistently voted as being one of the public's all time favourite films.

I'm not comparing Star Wars to the Mona Lisa, although I could do if I wanted to. Your dismissal of this as "ludicrous" is hardly an effective rebuttal. I'm merely using this thought-experiment to highlight the issues being discussed. My example was clearly an exaggeration in order to bring the complaints more clearly into focus.

Nobody disputes an artist's right to alter their creations. Nobody even disputes George Lucas's right to go back and alter his original film (or Ridley Scott to release a Director's Cut of Bladerunner, or the release of Apocalypse Now Redux).

The two issues here are:

- the original comment came from someone who bought the StarWars DVD trilogy on DVD believing them to be the original versions when they weren't

- whether Lucas's amendments to the original are good or bad.

Now.....you can criticise the poster for not being more careful about what they buy, but it seems bizarre to suggest that they can't criticise changes to a film, which is what you seem to be doing.

I prefer spongecake without raisins in it. I prefer Rodin's The Thinker without a balaclava on it. I prefer the original version of Star Wars and wish I could buy it on DVD without Lucas's moronic (IMHO) changes. I don't consider the films to be "untouchable classics", I just prefer them in their original form and cannot see any artistic justification for the changes. I also cannot see any justification for not releasing the original version alongside the "new and improved" versions.

I can't believe you've got a problem with that. But you do. So I'll just have to leave you to your bizarre opinions.

[ET Awful]

41. Actually the original poster attacked Lucas and said he hated him

for altering his own work.

I do have a problem with someone claiming to love something but hating the person that created it because they later made what they saw as improvements and completion of their original vision.

Whether you see "artistic justification" is irrelevant, it's not your art.

Lucas said years ago that the original versions would never be available again. He said this when he released the boxed set on VHS prior to the release of the first of the new movies.

To attack him now for something he warned of years ago is moronic.

[Pert_UK]

39. "All of his changes make perfect sense"

Greedo shooting first turns Han's character from a streetwise rebellious survivor into a sanitised idiot.

And that's overlooking the idiocy of Greedo missing his shot from 2 feet away.

It was a stupid change in complete opposition to the character established for Han and made only to remove any potential controversy from the situation.

I don't believe that sanitising films or characters makes them better.

[malatesta1137]

6. nothing psychological there, sorry

It's pure greed. Lucas thinks that the dvds sell better if new features are added. He was always more of a used car salesman than a true filmmaker.

I posted the changes two weeks ago here, the most disturbing to me is the change in the dialogue between Vader and the Emperor in TESB, it practically reveals halfway through the film that Skywalker is Vader's son.

And since Anakin came back to the good side of the force right before he died, it makes no sense to replace Sebastian Shaw's image with Haydn Christensen's as the ghost of Anakin and keep Alec Guinness instead of Ewan McGregor.

[ET Awful]

10. Ummmm

No, it doesn't reveal that Skywalker is Vaders son, it says that he is Annakin Skywalkers son, which you knew in Episode IV when Ben tells him his father was Annakin Skywalker, a Jedi Knight.

Sorry, that argument doesn't hold water.

[malatesta1137]

15. I said 'practically' reveals

you need a brain to catch it, which of course most Star Wars fans lack (notice I said 'most').

[ET Awful]

21. Well, using your argument, you should be complaining more

about Kenobi 'practically revealing' it, since he did it even sooner than that scene by saying the same thing.

[Pert_UK]

9. You should have done what I did.............

Bought the DVD trilogy from a Shanghai street trader a year ago for about $2.

It's one of the only instances where I actually felt morally justified in buying pirate DVD.

P.

[progdonkey]

34. yeah

I grew up in Indonesia, and it's times like this I miss the bootlegs. (MS Office for $5 right here!) :toast:

[DS1]

18. I almost walked out when R2 popped his side thrusters out in EP2

I didn't, because I'd already paid for my damn ticket, but I vowed right then and there to never give George Lucas another dollar.

Everytime he changes something, or *gasp* does something new, he finds away to make millions of toys obsolete, and shakes down the toy market for another round of cash. The collectors can jam it, however, I don't care about them getting fleeced.

[Pert_UK]

37. Yeah...it just didn't make any sense........

If R2 could fly then, why not do it in the countless other occasions that it would have been useful?

Even if Lucas bothers to close off this loophole in Episode 3 I'm sure it will be just another lazy contrived situation.

P.

[Dob Bole]

25. WTF....they changed the ghost???

It's time for a revolution!!!

[BigMcLargehuge]

40. there are two ways to look at this...

One way is that Lucas is merely bringing his trilogy up-to-date for audiences who wouldn't understand the artifacts left over from the optical printing process used to create some of the special effects, wouldn't appreciate the stop-motion open/close doors in the Death Star etc... and to remove all of those artifacts of pre-digital special effects opened the door for him to make other changes that he'd wanted to as the trilogy was first created but he either didn't have the time, money, technology or forsight to do so. The audience for the SW films has always been kids and I am relatively certain that he wouldn't want today's kids to see films that are visually imperfect, especially after the last fifteen years or so where CGI has made special effects for television commercials better than anything he was able to do in any of the original Star Wars trilogy. I am also certain he wants more people to buy the trilogy than those that saw the films in theaters as kids. He wants a new audience to see it, and they probably wouldn't buy into the films if they looked like crap on their HD TVs, especially compared to the digital special effects in the two prequels.

Also, consider that he produced the middle three movies in a nine movie series; that means he'd probably have to make changes to them as the first three films were produced and introduced continuity errors.

I'm a writer, I've started projects with a middle scene or middle chapter because that's where my original idea was. However, like Lucas, as I created the rest of the story I had to make changes, usually altering the original idea that made the story begin to take shape to fit it in well with the surrounding material.

I don't think he's ever said publically that the SW trilogy was complete, hence the fact that he's made two (and in production of a third) prequel, which taken as a whole, almost insists that their be changes made to the original three films. i.e. he thinks of the SW Trilogy as a draft segment of a much larger story.

I can't fault him for that as I am a writer and also rework and "fix" things in older stories (even those that have been published) that on later readings didn't work the way I wanted them too originally or didn't make sense in current context.

The fact that he's made what he considers improvements (and some truly are, such as removing the optical printing artifacts and adding some different music at key points) doesn't diminish the movie as much as it diminishes our memories of the movie we all saw as kids.

I think that's why people get so upset, but that isn't really his fauly, it's ours.

I haven't enjoyed a Star Wars movie in a long time, his prequels were either terrible (phantom menace) or merely mediocre (Clones), and I am one of the few who thought Return of the Jedi was a strong entry in the series Ewoks not whithstanding.

Here is something humorous a friend and I put together upon the revelation of the scope of his changes:

Hmmmm...they forgot a lot of the changes I've read about. Here's some of the more noticeable ones.

my friend Jim's list

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE:
1) Greedo shoots first, but only after Han refuses to "leggo his Eggo"
2) All Stormtroopers now wear flannel shirts and unkempt beards, and are referred to as LucasLurkers.
3) R2D2's name has been modified to appeal to the hip new audiences, and will henceforth be known as R-Tizzle 2-Dizzle D-Izzle 2-Shizzle.
4) C3P0 will now be voiced by Vin Diesal.
5) Mark Hamill's face has been digitally altered to look more like Mark Hamill.
6) The "incestuous" kiss now features more tongue.
7) Ben Kenobi's death is now accompanied by the Cantina song so that kids won't be too sad.
8 )The Death Star is not blown up at the end. It's simply taught a lesson and floats off angrily.
9) Every scene now features some sort of Ewok.
10) Jar Jar Binks replaces Porkins as Luke's wingman. Hilarious space battle ensues.

STAR WARS: EPISODE V-THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK:

1) Billy Dee Williams is digitally removed and replaced by Jah Rule
2) The Tauntaun disembowelment scene has been cut, and replaced by the Wompa nursing Luke back to health, and then joining the team.
3) Boba Fett's missile on his back has been digitally changed to a pop-up tent, and his mask is now a smiley face.
4) In an all new scene, we meet the Ewoks of Hoth!!
5) Yoda now randomly breaks out into song.
6) Digitally removed Coke residue from Fisher's nose
7) Luke doesn't lose his hand...he loses his faith in God.

STAR WARS: EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI:
1) Leia's "slave outfit" modified to look less slutty. Now wears turtleneck and surf shorts.
2) Harrison Ford's personality digitally altered to be less gruff
3) Jabba model now replaced by cuter, furrier Jabba.
4) 100% more Ewoks
5) Starbuck's signs added to new Death Star.
6) Samuel L. Jackson and an unknown Asian Jedi added to final "Ghost Scene" for a more racially diverse ending.
7) Hip new remix of Ewok celebration song, peformed by Moby and Beyonce Knowles.


my list of completely fabircated changes
10 completely fabricated rumors, per film, from Big
Episode 4 A New Hope

1) Railings digitally added to Death Star catwalks
2) Old scene restored of Luke protecting his Aunt from Uncle Owen on a drunken rampage
3) Stop Motion chess table scene replaced with new scene of Chewbacca and R2D2 playing Pokemon Arena on Nintendo Game Cube
4) Scene of Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia offering to blow Grand Moff Tarkin for an 8-ball restored
5) Chewbacca has pivotal line restored "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
6) Additional ten million blinking spacesships and lasers added to climactic Death Star Battle, "To cause seizures" Lucas says.
7) Luke has digitally enlarged tunic bulge
8 ) Millenium Falcon digitally replaced with 2005 PT Cruiser
9) Darth Vader now voice by Carrot Top
10) C3PO and R2D2 sex scene added
11) scene added of Luke Skywalker thrown through Mos Eisley Cantina window to explain facial lascerations in later films.

Ep 5- Empire Strikes Back

1) Hoth now tropical paradise
2) Billy D Williams as Lando Calrissian replaced by digitally inserted Sisqo as Lando Calrissian
3) Yoda now jumps around everywhere
4) Dagoba digitally filled with Gungans
5) Storm troopers fitted with iPods
6) Stop motion Tauntauns repaced with CGI to-look-like-stop-motion Tauntauns
7) C3PO given musical number
8 ) Jar Jar Binks now features heavily to "improve continuity"
9) Darth Vader in meditation chamber scene extended. He and emperor now discuss baseball before speaking original dialogue.
10) Boba Fett's ship no longer looks like an iron

Ep 6 - Return of the Jedi

1) Ewoks overrun moon of Endor like Tribbles
2) Restored hour of Ewok village sequence and musical number. Lucas says "everyone just loves the Ewoks"
3) Light sabre fight between Luke and Vader shortened and turned into kung fu battle
4) Jar Jar Binks digitally inserted into every scene to improve continuity
5) New line added when Vader is breathing his last in Luke's arms after climactic battle "I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance after switching to Geico..."
6) Entire end space battle sequence replaced with still shot of George Lucas screaming "BOOM! BLAMMO! BANG!" and waving his arms like a maniac.
7) Commentary track featuring Steven Spielberg and George Lucas talking about how much they hate the fans of their movies.
8 )Entire soundtrack replaced with cuts from Outcast's "The Love Below" to give film an appeal to modern teens.
9) Speeder bikes all digitally remastered to look like Harley Davidsons
10) Admiral Akkbar nude scene restored

[ReadTomPaine]

42. Those lists are a treat!

Thanks for taking the time to write this up! I'm not sure I agree with all of your observations, perhaps I'm more cynical, but it's valid food for thought.

RTP

[ET Awful]

43. Well Said!

I agree completely.

[Bridget Burke]

46. Too bad Lucas ran out of ideas....

Yeah, he can go back & change his prevous work.

But he's apparently unable to create anything new. It must be frustrating.

[ReadTomPaine]

47. He's also a touch short on talent. <n/t>

[Bridget Burke]

52. That's the main problem, isn't it?

He'd be better off if he could look back at Star Wars as the first in a chain of successes. But he peaked early.

Your psychological analysis was quite interesting. If he were only in it for the money, he'd be selling all versions. Some would buy the old ones, others the new--true nerds would get them all!

I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but I'm glad somebody gave me the VHS set of the old versions. No wide screen, but I'll enjoy them on my little TV with the built in tape drive.

[Skeet]

49. Just download and burn or buy off eBay.

I've got the versions from the Laserdisc on DVD now. Han still shoots first. Well worth my money.

[cheezus]

50. was just about to make the same suggestion

been thinking about buying them off ebay

say, if I were to mail you some blank DVD-Rs... ;)

[Skeet]

51. I would help, but

my DVD burner is being spastic lately. I can't get my burning software to work at all. It sucks because I've got TV shows downloaded that I can't get onto a disc. Thankfully I'm not burning CDs anymore or I would be going nuts.

[TaleWgnDg]

53. cripes! now I have a better understanding WHY my "kid" was a

tad bit upset w/ me when I didn't recall wtf I did w/ his Star Wars models and stuff back a few years. rofl . . . OUCH!

P.S. the "kid" is in his early 30s. heh.

. . . . . . . . . . .

[realisticphish]

54. i read about this stuff pre-release

and i ALMOST returned my box-set of the indiana jones movies, in protest. but ill just not buy it unless he corrects these blasphemes

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat