What country should I invade?

[Wat_Tyler]

OK. Here's the deal. I've got about eight guys (maybe nine), we've had some brews and we're looking for a country to take over. These are our requirements.

- Must have a beachfront view.
- There must be beer.
- There must be chicks.
- They must not speak foreign. (requirement can be overlooked if the
chicks are like, superhot)
- It must not suck.
- No big militaries. Nothing over 150,000 troops. (we're a little
out of shape)
- There must be beer.
- It must not be Belgium.
- The national sport must be manly.

Can you guys hook me up with a country to pillage?

[indigobusiness]

1. Belize

or The Virgin Islands

[Wat_Tyler]

2. The Virgin Islands, eh?

That has potential.

[indigobusiness]

13. Belize is better...

has the largest coral reef next to Australia's.

[Wat_Tyler]

18. Coral reef, eh?

Is that, like, a dubble intonder?

[indigobusiness]

27. no...

it's not.

If I grasp 'intonder'.

There are coralless reefs, reefless coral, and coral reefs.

[Wat_Tyler]

31. Dude. You've gotta be talking about sex.

[indigobusiness]

38. Pregnant

pause.

[Wat_Tyler]

41. What, like you're a chick?

[indigobusiness]

57. Bite your tongue, before I invade YOU.

The pause was pregnant...not me.

[kick-ass-bob]

58. Don't worry, Wat. It's just the hormones.

She doesn't really mean it!

:silly:

[indigobusiness]

60. Leave your farting dogs and dildos at home.

Airport security is sensitive these days.

[Wat_Tyler]

59. I'm not much into tongue biting.

I mean, different strokes for different folks, but it doesn't get me going.

[kick-ass-bob]

61. You're into teeth licking.

Aren't you?

[indigobusiness]

62. You're not very bright for a revolutionary.

Ever consider politics?

[Wat_Tyler]

63. Nah. They seem to frown on my passion for wet farts.

[indigobusiness]

64. Politicians are the wettest farters.

You really should look into it.

[Wat_Tyler]

65. Cool. Would they care about my millions of dollars in debt

that I owe to the Colombian mob for a botched coke deal?

[indigobusiness]

69. They will probably...

come to your funeral.

[Rufus T. Firefly]

16. I've always wanted Belize.

They even speak English there. Can't beat that.

[Wat_Tyler]

48. Former British colony.

[Phillycat]

3. The Phillipines?

Wait, is that a country?

[Rufus T. Firefly]

12. You forgot Poland!

Sorry...I couldn't resist.

[Phillycat]

15. Hee!

My geographical knowledge rivals *'s. I am really terrible with geography.

[Elidor]

4. Sounds like...Costa Rica!

No army. Hot babes. Beer. Beaches. Soccer is the national sport. It's not Belgium. They do speak foreign, however. Did I mention hot babes?

[Wat_Tyler]

8. Sounds cool. Would they be easy to invade?

No defensive lines, tricky mountain ranges, local jerks or anything, right?

[Elidor]

45. Just pretend you're American tourists

[AngryAmish]

56. Totally agree

[ReadTomPaine]

5. Don't forget Poland!

;)

RTP

[Wat_Tyler]

7. Do they have beaches in Poland?

[ReadTomPaine]

9. I'm sure there are some sandy lakes that will suffice....

... Just don't forget them ;)

RTP

[kick-ass-bob]

44. Where do you think the US landed in WWII???

The beaches of Poland. God, you can be so f'n stupid sometimes.

[Wat_Tyler]

53. I thought we landed in Norway on d-day, right?

[kick-ass-bob]

54. well, sure, d-day - that was Norway. P-day was Poland.

That's what the P is for.

God, do I have to explain everything?????

[underpants]

6. Delaware

I hear the beaches are nice.

[Wat_Tyler]

10. I dunno. That sounds kinda foreign.

Isn't that, like, France?

[underpants]

17. Yeah lots of people name DuPont there

Very french........and batshit crazy every other generation.

[Wat_Tyler]

19. Batshit crazy get dancing naked on the table

or batshit crazy shoot you?

[tigereye]

11. that's funny - invading Delaware

doesn't that already happen every summer? :) I myself have been part of the invasions for many years....


I would say Austrailia, Wat. Seems to meet the majority or your requirements, plus it is pretty progressive, too, right? You are very ambitious this am!

[Wat_Tyler]

14. Hmmm. I've heard the beer sucks.

And I don't like skiing, or lederhosen.

[tigereye]

43. no dear, that's Germany or Austria or Switzerland... wise guy

there was an Aussie beer thread here last week... I think there are some good beers there. But the national sport is swimming. I think it is manly, but you may not. You might prefer that Scots "log-tossing" thing. ;)

[jdonaldball]

20. Sounds like New Zealand

[Wat_Tyler]

22. Nah.

I don't wanna go to Holland.

[dolo amber]

21. Yap

It's about this big ----> .
It's an island, thus beaches
I know of at least one hot chick there, who also happens to teach English
It has beer and some other weird alcoholic substances made from fermented rodents or something...ok, so maybe that's not a selling point...
They probably play 'football'.
It is not Belgium. Unless Belguim has relocated to Micronesia.

You may thank me by sending me 1 (one) young nubile Yapanese lad to have my way with at my leisure. ;)

[Wat_Tyler]

24. Are you sure you're not just making that up?

[dolo amber]

29. Yes, I'm sure I'm not making it up

As would you be if you'd look at a map, ya bloody hoser.

[Wat_Tyler]

33. What is this 'map' of what you speak?

[goju]

23. count me in

sounds like a hoot. Ill bring some beer, chips, and a copy of Nation building for Dummies.

When do we leave?

[Wat_Tyler]

25. Like, Friday, I guess.

Bob has to go see his parole officer, then we can go.

[jdonaldball]

30. I think Cannibalism is still legal in Yap

So, you should invite some selected family members, like the in-law who sends you Freeper spam...

[kick-ass-bob]

40. Holy shit!

I'm voting for Yap. I've got some folks here in the office that I want to take with...

[jdonaldball]

46. Lawyers, I hope.

[kick-ass-bob]

47. no , just ass-wipes.

[Wat_Tyler]

49. So, lawyers then?

[kick-ass-bob]

50. dude. I need 'em for Friday!

sheesh.

[jdonaldball]

52. Ass-wipes = Judges

What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 80?
You say, "Yes your Honor."

[kick-ass-bob]

34. you talkin about me?

I hope so, I definitely need to invade a country.

[Wat_Tyler]

36. Yeah.

But don't violate your parole again.

[kick-ass-bob]

37. In that case, we'll need a country that's inside the US.

:crazy:

P.S. I'm innocent! O8)

[Wat_Tyler]

39. Yeah. 'Innocent' in the sense of 'massively guilty', dude.

[kick-ass-bob]

42. And what was that shit about being kinda out of shape?!

Speak for yourself, lazy-ass!!

Or I'll have to proclaim my innocence once again!!

[goju]

55. ok, but we gotta be back by tuesday, wednesday at the latest

i have a dentist appointment. neither work, nor inclement weather, nor rape and pillaging should stand in the way of good oral hygiene.

[TomClash]

26. Monaco

On the French Riviera, casinos, German beer imported, some beautiful women, no military, every language sopken.

[Wat_Tyler]

28. Cool.

Will Rush be playing there in the near future?

[Mizmoon]

32. Turks and Caicos

can I have a job in your government? I make a good puppet!

[Wat_Tyler]

35. Do I have to stick my hand up your ass?

'Cos I'm not into the kinky stuff. Much. :evilgrin:

[kick-ass-bob]

51. How about Bermuda?

We'd have to approach from the north, so we don't get sucked into the netherworld...

[kodi]

66. obviously, the Grand Duchy of Fenwick

[Wat_Tyler]

67. I dunno. I get the feeling they want to be invaded.

I don't want a needy country.

[kodi]

68. but we can take 'em. that's the point.

and it has been revealed on faux news that the fenwickians recently have converted over their swiss cheese factories to the production of limburgher cheese, which even the french consider weapons of mass destruction.

[Wat_Tyler]

70. This is true.