Who's the un-funniest, most bland comedian today (just in general)???

[SmileyBoy]

Politics aside, a few right-wing comics can be funny sometimes. I'm talking about just the comedian who is NOT FUNNY at all, usually doesn't get any laughs, and is boring and painful to listen to.

My pick would be Arj Barker. He's absolutely the WORST, most UNFUNNY "comedian" I have ever had the misfortune to watch on TV. His jokes are COMPLETELY bland, vanilla and unfunny, and they get no laugh response from me, and I'm a pretty easy guy to make laugh. Comedy Central GAVE HIM HIS OWN HALF-HOUR SPECIAL??? Did you know that the people in the audience were barely laughing at his lame-ass, vanilla, milquetoast jokes during that show?? He spent most of that show stroking his own ego, saying things like "Yeah, I recently got married...", and waiting for the audiences applause, and telling them other dubious accomplishments he had, and waiting for the audience's applause. I can't BELIEVE he hosted Battlebots for a while!!! Who's dick did he have to suck to get any favour on that network???

So, who's your pick?? And don't automatically say Dennis Miller, or some other right-wing comic. It has to be someone who DOES NOT MAKE YOU LAUGH AT ALL, and makes you think to yourself "Why in the hell is this unfunny person on TV???"

[Phillycat]

A tie--Colin Quinn and Jay Leno.

[Hello_Kitty]

79. Colin Quinn sucks!!!!

So does Tough Crowd. Only the smaller black guy is funny. The rest are intolerable.

[Phillycat]

1. delete-dupe post

[Emops]

17. Don't hate me, but

I think Colin Quinn is kind of funny when he's not talking politics. He is so spectacularly clueless in that area, however, that it's kind of funny in itself.

I nominate half of the cast of the show Last Comic Standing.

[Phillycat]

19. I have literally never cracked a smile watching that show.

I find him to be spectacularly unfunny. Painfully so.

I am so glad they are taking it off the air. I don't even have cable anymore, but Colin Quinn is still sucking the funny out of my world like a black hole.

[bif]

2. You mean, now that Bob Hope is dead?

[mac56]

3. Adam Sandler.

I ask that question about him every time I see him on TV or a movie trailer.

[bif]

10. I totally agree

Nothing funny about him.

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

58. Come on! Sandler is funny!

[bif]

105. Happy Gilmore was amusing

But the rest of his movies are horrible.

[AngryAmish]

108. Price is wrong - bitch!

[Owlet]

4. Dennis Miller

pathetic, burnt-out hasbeen.

[Worst Username Ever]

6. Jinx you owe me a coke

[VOX]

42. On the money. You want "unfunny?" Dennis Miller is your guy.

Whoever heard of a right-wing comic, anyway?

[Worst Username Ever]

5. Dennis Miller

[SmileyBoy]

9. I'm talking about the un-funniest, most bland comedian.

Not someone who pisses you off, someone who you don't laugh at.

[Worst Username Ever]

15. Do YOU laugh at Dennis Miller?

His comedy is worse than his football commentary, and THAT is bad.

[SmileyBoy]

16. I used to.

Dennis Miller doesn't count, because he's offensive. I'm talking about the most BLAND comic out there.

[JimmyJazz]

32. I'll probably here a lot of flack for this, but I never found

Sam Kinison to be particularly amusing.

[qnr]

67. Bob Saget

Edit: Bleagh... I hate when I hit the wrong "reply" button.

[amber dog democrat]

7. Jay Leno, Jerry Lewis,

and maybe....Condasleeza Rice.

[bobbobbins]

22. while i don't usually like jerry lewis...

hes great in king of comedy

[WI_DEM]

74. Jerry Lewis influenced many comedians

and they admit it--Sandler, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg--among others have said they pay a debt to Lewis. Of course this is the free-wheeling, take no prisoners Lewis of the 50's thru the mid 60's when he was at his peak. I think he was also an influential director--Spielberg and Lucas took his class at USC.

[amber dog democrat]

85. and I may be unfair here.

I did like his performance in the King of Comedy. There are a few routines in some of his movies that were quite good. I never saw him in a no holds barred stand up session so I don't know what he is really capable of.

Its just that I don't know of much of what he has done that compares to some of the others, that I consider great. All i have to go on are his Dean Martin - Lewis routines and films like Cinderfella. Its just my opinion and maybe a not too informed one.

[mdhunter]

8. Mitch Hedberg (sp?)

[SmileyBoy]

14. You spelled it right.

Mitch is just plain-old deadpan comedy. I like some of it, but it's an acquired taste.

[He loved Big Brother]

98. I love Mitch!

I think he is hilarious, and I usually only like cynical comedians.

[Beware the Beast Man]

26. Hey, I like Mitch Hedberg!

He's very hit and miss, and he does a lot of stoner humor which has been done to death, but he does have some funny stuff.

"I didn't find a candle holder that I liked, so I bought a cake..."

[tarkus]

46. Yeah, some of his stuff is genius...

Like the roundabout AIDS test and the Tartar Control toothpaste.

[Guaranteed]

54. Oh, come on...that guy has some UNBELIEVABLE stuff.

Shit no one else could ever have thought of.

[AngryAmish]

109. Take that back

He is one of the few comics that I both recognize and appreciate.

[mitchum]

112. Is he the guy will the shopworn stoner schtick?

If that's him, he DOES suck

[Richardo]

11. The unholy Irish trinity of Colin Quinn, Jim Breuer and Denis Leary

Arrrrrghhhhh! :nuke:

[SmileyBoy]

13. Denis Leary was a hoot back in the day (pre-1994).

When he just had HBO specials, he was a pretty funny guy. Then he started getting on TV shows, and the funny just stopped.

Jim Breuer is just a retarded idiot.

[mitchum]

51. Aye! Those lads do suck mightily

[POed_Ex_Repub]

12. Tom Green

Ever see "Freddy Got Fingered"? Need I explain more?

[underpants]

23. No I didn't because I watched his TV show once

and once was enough.

[no name no slogan]

24. Definately Tom Green

...however, his mere existence is a constant reminder that it's not nice to laugh at the mentally challenged.

[Johnny 99]

50. Agreed

The idiot has no talent, and just does weird shit to get attention. His SNL hosting bit was one of the most awful shows ever, and one of the reasons I don't even watch it anymore.

[ltn72]

18. Unfunniest Comic

A tie between Margaret Cho and Whoopie Goldberg. They simply bring discredit to liberalism and turn-off most voters.

[mac56]

20. Welcome

Turn off most voters?!

Fortunately, neither woman is running for anything! No worries there.

"Bring discredit to liberalism"?! Quite the contrary, I think.

[Terran]

35. Naw, Cho is hysterical

But I can see how she's not *everyone's* cup o' tea.

[Bombtrack]

77. She's mindnumbingly unfunny

I think you have to be unstable to find her funny. She makes Dat Phan look like George Carlin

[Terran]

100. Well, by comparison...

who DO you find funny? Bob Hope? Quite a lot of people find Margaret Cho very very funny, and I don't think we're ALL unstable.

[Bombtrack]

103. George Carlin, David Cross, Dane Cook, Steven Wright, Sarah Silverman

People who are funny.

[Terran]

106. Steven Wright

is funnier than Margaret Cho? Pfft.

Like I said, matter of 'taste'.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

117. "I'm the one that I want" = awesome DVD

[He loved Big Brother]

99. I think Margaret is my favorite besides George Carlin

eom

[Mizmoon]

21. Sinbad

Did anyone ever find this guy amusing?

[bobbobbins]

25. i kinda liked his first comedy special

but i just saw a newer one of his, and it was very unfunny, unoriginal, and rehashed alot of jokes done 100 times before.

[curse10]

27. Jay Leno

lame, lame, lame!!!

[skypilot]

28. Elaine Boosler (sp?)

Unless she's gotten better since the last time I saw her I'd have to say Elaine Boosler. I rented something called "Live Nude Girls" which was one of her stand up shows and it was pretty bland. A low point: something about being afraid of being killed and having the cops draw a chalk outline around her because she was afraid it would make her look fat. :eyes:

[Richardo]

30. She had a funny line once (once)...which describes Mrs R and myself

"I found the secret to a long and happy marriage is watching TV in seperate rooms."

[neoteric lefty]

33. great family guy joke about elaine boosler

Joe: Gee, Peter, this water tastes kind of funny.

Peter: You mean like hah-hah Jerry Seinfeld funny? Or Elaine Boosler "God-bless-her-she's-trying" funny?

I never laughed at her, she didn't do it for me.

[Richardo]

34. That line killed me...

...I'm laughing again just reading it - thanks! :D

[shadu]

29. adam sandler or ben stiller

ben stiller is so unfunny he's nasty

[hyphenate]

31. Too many of them!

Although I think Jerry Seinfeld is an okay guy. his comedy does nothing for me. There are also a lot of comedians who deal with "life" comedy whose work I don't find particularly interesting or funny. For the first 5 or 6 seasons of Everybody Loves Raymond, I think I shirked whenever I heard Romano talk, because he reminded me of a male version of Fran Drescher. I love Ellen Degeneres as an activist (she's a big animal rights supporter), I don't find her comedy all that funny, either.

Then there is slapstick comedy, and I can't stand it anymore. Take the Three Stooges--please. I wince everytime I see them anymore.

Benny Hill never thrilled me, either.

[Gogi]

36. Sandra Bernhardt hands down.

Second runner up: Jerry Seinfeld.

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

38. i agree

obnoxious does not = funny

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

37. robin williams

i'll get flamed for this, but robin williams may talk fast, yet nothing he says is terribly insightful or funny
and his movies are formulaic (in the midst of the horrible events of _______, robin williams' character shows how the power of laughter can bring happiness to _____.)

---followed of course by the obligatory tagline from the critics that "robin williams is MAGICAL in ______!"
----------
williams is followed closly by jay leno-seeing what he's done to the tonight show, carson must be hanging his head in sorrow

also:
jimmy fallon-unprofessional, a tiger beat version of adam sandler - imitating celebrities is one thing, copying their routines verbatim and passing it off as an impression is another- thank god he's off snl

paul rodriguez - not funny now, never was

rita rudner - ditto

colin quinn - angy borderline-racist grumblings aren't comedy

dennis miller - a sad, petty little man

honorable mention - craig kilborn, that fat guy on hollywood quares (bruce somthing), and the entire cast of mad tv's run (except for nicole sullivan)

[ReadTomPaine]

39. Carrot Top.

Gallagher was also pretty bad.

RTP.

[leftist_rebel1569]

72. Word.

n/t

[no name no slogan]

40. Joe Piscopo

Possibly the most unfunny comedian who ever lived, except for the brief spot from 1981-83.

After that, he had to turn to body building. Pathetic.

[HEyHEY]

41. Ben Stiller - he just isn't funny

I can't figure out why people think he is.

[Fenris]

43. Anyone who's appeared on a Comedy Central special.

There are exceptions.

[enigmatic]

44. God, I miss Bill Hicks...

And to answer your question:

Jeff Altman and Jeff Wayne.

[tarkus]

47. Oh, definitely. Hicks was just so great. NM

[barb162]

45. Conan O'Brien

[BiggJawn]

48. Ellen.

Oh, I know that's Blasphemy, but I just don't think she's funny.

And I finally out-grew Rosanne, too.

[maveric]

115. I tried to like Ellen's comedy but I just dont laugh.

[CanuckAmok]

49. David Spade doesn't rate here?

By god, whatg a boring, over-rated hack.

Yeesh.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

Colin Quinn

hands down NOT EVEN FUNNY.

His audience doesn't even LAUGH at MOST of his jokes. He is just a boring bastard.

[mitchum]

52. Rita Rudner, Jake Johanson, Patton Oswalt

[Chovexani]

53. Will Ferrell

In spite of the fact that I'll probably be crucified for saying this on DU, the guy just is not funny. Yes, I realize he's probably a good Dem and I don't knock him for it but I have never once laughed at a single Will Ferrell skit on SNL. Ever.

The dude sucks.

[UpsideDownFlag]

56. blasphemer! that man is a comic genius? how can you not laugh at him in

movies like Old School??

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

57. OMG I NEARLY ALERTED ON YOU

you are NOT allowed to speak that way of Will Ferrell, who HATES bush by the way and is HILARIOUS.

Didja ever see Elf? Oh my God, I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard.

[ironflange]

60. Same here

You took the words right out of my mouth.

[Djinn]

55. I'm so glad people mentioned

Ben Stiller and Adam Sandler - I find it a sad commentary on the tastes and intelligence of the general public that their movies make a fortune - WTF was Zoolander???

To be honest I'm not really a fan of anyone that's come out of SNL for decades (maybe an exception for Chris Rock) and who is it that keeps giving them movie greenlights????

When it comes to Leno I'm with Bill Hicks (actually when it comes to most things I'm with Bill Hicks)

"a company man to the bitter fucking end....you do a commercial you're off the artitic role call forever....you're another whore at the capitalist gang bang....and not even when he needed the money either....he makes three million a year and he decides to hawk Dorritos to make more money"

[meisje]

59. Quinn

[Lone_Wolf_Moderate]

61. Billy Crystal. That's right, I siad it.

[lpbk2713]

62. I've heard Gilbert Godfried is supposed to be a comedian.

I'm not convinced. He's like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Also, David Spade and Emo Phillips.

[Spiffarino]

63. Dennis Miller can't even make me crack a smile

And no, it's not automatic just because he's RW. All I have to do is look at him and I smell B.O. He's creepy to behold; his references are vague, obscure, and unfunny; and he seems utterly in love with himself.

Next on my shitlist is Carrot Top, 'nuff said.

[Biased Liberal Media]

64. Garry Shandling

there is absolutely NOTHING remotely funny about that man.

[Spiffarino]

65. Ah, yes. Carrot Top to place, Shandling to show.

The only thing funny about Shandling is the way he looks, and that ends once he opens his whiny mouth.

[Biased Liberal Media]

68. I concur!

[Chomskyite]

84. Much better in his sitcoms

The Larry Sanders show was as innovative and edgy as anything I've ever seen on TV. Great characters, too.

[mitchum]

111. NO! NO! NO! Shandling would be the world's greatest working comedian...

if he bothered to work anymore. Really, BOTH his material and technique are flawless.

[vajraroshana]

66. Jay Leno

Unfunny almost all of the time. Actually unwatchable most of the time.

I can't see any reason why he's even on TV. He's boorish at best. Puerile when he's at his most clever (that's not a compliment, btw). Scandalously unsuited to his job. Damn, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I seriously miss Johnny Carson. He had so much more class and decorum than Jay Leno could ever even hope to acquire.

I love his wife, though. I bet in reality Jay's a much more likable real kinda guy, because his wife is awesome! I'm not into advocating violence of any kind ever, so y'all know I'm just kidding when I say this, but she should smack the shit out of him!!

[ReadTomPaine]

69. Nice car collection tho. <n/t>

[-..__...]

70. Robin Williams.

The kind of guy who's funny for all of 30 seconds with the lampshade on his head at a party, but otherwise a humorless obnoxious hack.

Jim Carrey is another one; although his humor is good for about 15 seconds.

FWIW, I did like "Moscow on the Hudson" and "Mrs. Doubtfire", but the comedy routine and material wasn't his.

[ReadTomPaine]

71. Famous comics left standing after 9 hours scrutiny on DU:

Al Franken
Bill Cosby
Bill Maher
Carol Burnett
Drew Carey
Eddie Izzard
Eddie Murphy
George Carlin
Janeane Garofalo
Jeff Foxworthy (!)
Lenny Bruce
Lily Tomlin
Richard Pryor
Rodney Dangerfield
Roseanne Barr
Steve Martin
Tim Allen
Yakov Smirnoff

Let's give a round of applause to these survivors so far! We are a tough crowd!

RTP

[lpbk2713]

73. Damn..... Rodney still don't get no respect.

Tough crowd, I'll tell ya.

[ReadTomPaine]

75. Added him to the list!

And I think I just gave him some material to boot!

RTP

[realisticphish]

81. steve martin

thanks for reminding me...he was good in dirty rotten scoundrels, but that was IT

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[BiggJawn]

90. Hey! I "dissed" Rosanne!

Yakov Smirnoff...Oh, yeah, "Aye LUFF dis Country!"

I use that line once-a-while....

[graywarrior]

96. Not to mention

Andy Kaufman
Groucho Marx
Steve Sweeney
Peter Sellers
Martin Short
Jon Stewart
Dave Chappelle
Dana Carvey
Steven Wright
John Cleese
Mike Myers

[Bombtrack]

76. Margaret Cho and Rich Vos. Me thinks the people responding Dennis Miller

and Colin Quinn are looking at it through a political filter. Not that Dennis Miller hasn't lost pretty much all of his comedic talent.

I think you're just wrong about Arj Barker, that guy's great IMO

[Biased Liberal Media]

80. Rich Vos is SO not funny. I didn't get him

while watching LCS.

[Chovexani]

101. That's not true

I don't think Will Ferrell's funny at all and he's a good Bush-hating Dem.

I adore Margaret Cho, but I can understand why some people don't like her. She basically has two kinds of jokes: sex/fag hag jokes and doing her mom's voice jokes.

I'm a fag hag too though so I guess that's why I love her so much--she's my patron saint. :)

[Tabasco_Dave]

78. Dennis miller

I never thought he was funny and i never understood why people thought he was funny. He laughs at his own jokes and he loves the sound of his own voice. I never thought he was funny on SNL or his HBO show. When he became a repug, all i could say was good riddance.

[saracat]

82. Whoever the woman is that does that Goddess thing with an accordian.

[lpbk2713]

86. Judy Tenuda ............ n/t

[Chomskyite]

83. Judy Gold

Saw her frequently on Colin Quinn's show. Never understood her appeal.

And for a male who is unfunny: Ralphie May. If he didn't look like a fat ten-year-old blown up to adult size, he wouldn't have a career.

[skypilot]

92. Ralphie May is repulsive...

...and his whole being-down-with-the-brothas routine grates on my last fucking nerve. And that VOICE....

[Dem_Loyalist]

87. My choice for most bland won't be popular I know

But I listen to Air America whenever my bosses aren't around (they only listen to that puke bag Limbaugh) and Al Frankens just puts me to sleep. While I totally agree with his ideas his delivery is blah and he seems, well, just bitter all the time. In the past one of my favorite comedians, before he sold out to the bushies, was Dennis Miller.

[Magrittes Pipe]

88. Lots of DUers think they're funny....

[DebinTx]

89. Carrot Top

The guy isn't funny one bit.

[Dem_Loyalist]

113. and I have tears running down my face

Every time I see Carrot Top. Especially when he does the Wendy's girl bit. The telephone ads he does on the other hand aren't very good.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

91. You guys are kidding, right? The Answer is GALLAGHER!!!

That is given :shrug:

[tarkus]

93. Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot Gallgher. He is so unfunny it hurts.

I knew one person from school who was actually Gallagher fan, but my friends and I wore her down using the powers of ridicule and mockery and now she does not admit to being a Gallagher fan.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

95. Always keep em ashamed - thats the best policy

[terrya]

94. I was going to say Ray Romano...but you're right, CStT. It's Gallagher.

Gallagher is just...jaw droppingly unfunny.

[SemiCharmedQuark]

97. Emo Philips!

BLAH!

[PittPoliSci]

102. Mitch Hedberg

everything that comes out of his mouth is poison. i've laughed more at funerals.

[EstimatedProphet]

104. Richard Jeni

Even remember him?
I rest my case.

[CO Liberal]

107. George W. Bush

:-)

[ReadTomPaine]

110. RIP Rodney Dangerfield.

Only just heard.

<kick out of *respect*>

RTP

[mitchum]

114. That Mario guy with his "Hey, I'm gay!" schtick

Haven't your people suffered enough?

[vinnievin777]

116. Dennis Miller

not two ways about it

Vinnie

http://www.vinnievin.com

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

118. Another Dennis Miller vote. Not just that he's a RW whore. He is

death to watch.