My Family Hates Me For My FREEDOM!

[smirkymonkey]

Is anyone else the only single, childless, property-less person in their family?

If so, do you feel resented by other members of your family because you don't have the obligations and responsibilities of marriage and parenthood?

Sometimes, I just want to scream "I am not responsible for your life choices!!!" They are all much more "succesful" than I and have plenty to show for their lives, unlike me, but still it seems to bother them that my life is much more simple and carefree.

I feel that when I am with them I am expected to be their slave just because I don't have kids. It's like when I am around them, I owe it to them to do their work just because I don't have to do it all the time. I don't mind helping out when asked, but I hate being taken for granted.

[dave123williams]

1. Yeah; my brother hates my guts because of it...

He's pretty trapped right now, but has nobody to blame but himself.

[RadioFlyer]

8. Welll...

You're not obligated. Try saying, "Thanks for thinking of me, but I really can't." And leave it at that. They'll adapt.

(Edited for grammar)

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Try to remember...It's hard work for them to love you as best they can...

But seriously, I bet they are a heck of a whole lot jealous of you. You owe them nothing...except devotion to your nieces and nephews. That has got to be rough. I will keep your sentiments in mind when my single brother comes to town. Thanks for the insight. :hi:

[smirkymonkey]

6. Thanks - I love them too and adore their children.

I always bring gifts, help w/ little things, etc. but I still feel like they resent me. I am one of those people who is very sensitive and can't handle a lot of chaos, so I have chosen to be single and childless in order to keep my life simple.

I was just with two of my siblings, their spouses and children this weekend and when I am around them I have to take naps in the middle of the day because I get so worn out from the constant activity and chaos. (the children are all under 3 years old) I feel guilty, but the whole experience just exhausts me.

[ScreamingMeemie]

7. No guilt should be felt. You made the right decision for you. I commend

you for it. Just reading about children under three exhausts me.

:hi:

[RadioFlyer]

9. Also

They're probably incredibly sleep-deprived. That will make you crazy, sensitive and unbalanced. Stay courteous, don't worry about whether they resent you or not. It is what it is.

[Liberal Veteran]

3. I have encountered that once in awhile.

Not only that, people assume your life has no worth or meaning and that all is great because you didn't have kids or have the same responsibilities they do.

Or they think you are a shirker for not following a path that OTHER people think is right for you.

[smirkymonkey]

10. Exactly, it's the insinuation that my life is pointless and

meaningless because I have not taken the tried and true path to adulthood.

I have gone through a lot and I am on a spiritual (not religious) seekers path, as I have done a great deal of self-examination and have determined that my true path does not lie in external achievements, acquisitiveness or social acceptance.

I don't talk to them about this because they would think I was crazy. For them it's all about more money, bigger houses, more prestige, etc. They love their children and they are all good people (except they ARE Repulicans, not rabid, but moderate conservatives.)

I guess the path less traveled is a lonely one.

[tridim]

4. I'm single

and I just wish my mom would quit asking me when I'm going to get married. I plan to get married when I'm ready, no sooner. Parents shouldn't guilt trip their kids.

[Swamp Rat]

5. Enjoy your freedom!

My peers are all married w/kids and property owners - I have none of this, yet I have freedom from the maintenance of it all. While they were settled and fixed into one place for a long time, I have traveled the world and experienced many cultures and relationships.

The irony is, it is very likely that your nieces and nephews will admire/idolize you and ask you for advice. Then the jealousy of your siblings will become comical. :D

[smirkymonkey]

12. Thanks - I kind of have the feeling that I am going to

be the "Auntie Mame" of the family and the kids will end up coming to me for the understanding and non-judgement they may not end up getting from their parents.

I already see a little of that, in that I am much more patient and "fun" when I am with the children - probably due to the fact that I am not constantly overwhelmed by the responsibilty of being a 24-hour parent. I appreciate how difficult it is for them, I know I couldn't do it.

I know there are lots of others in this situation, I just wanted to know that I am not alone with this feeling.

[enigmatic]

11. my wife and I are child-free...

and LOVE IT!

We don't worry about family or friends who try to guilt-trip us on this; they know better.

Don't let anyone guilt-trip you either; people who do that want to make everyone else as miserable as they are. Don't fall for it..

[smirkymonkey]

Thanks - it's so hard not to take the bait when

I am in their company. I appreciate the support! :)

[enigmatic]

14. no prob!

Strength in numbers:)

[smirkymonkey]

13. Dupe.