Frank Luntz wears a hairpiece

[ZombieNixon]

It was on AAR just now. Garofalo/Seder just had Michael Kinsley on who said that Luntz wears a hairpiece. I always wondered why his hair always looks like a dead possum. You would think he could get a better one. :-)

[AlCzervik]

1. I think that was a given no?

He has a few that he rotates, one is really auburn and looks like a coon skin cap ala davy crockett, then he's got a more "casual" looking one imo, kind of a medium brown and not so high. Not that i was paying attention of course.

[xultar]

2. He would have looked much better if he had stapled it to his nose n/t

[npincus]

3. did you see paws dangling down in front?

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

4. I understand he strains Bush's bathwater for stray bathroom hairs

to maintain his hairpiece, before drinking it.

[VOX]

13. Whoa, that's it for dinner! I was trying to lose five pounds anyway...

Yowzzah. :puke:

[jeanmarc]

5. Why would you say that?

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

[parasim]

6. Luntz... I thought he was Traficant's kid.

or something...

[Carni]

8. Trafficant reminds me of a bizarro world Joey Heatherton

LMAO at your photos and comparison!
They could indeed be an "or something" scenario!

[parasim]

9. "bizarro world Joey Heatherton"...

that's hilarious! Gave me a good laugh there... :7

[Carni]

7. Just don't put this in "breaking news" lol

Because it definitely ISN'T! :)

[Gabi Hayes]

10. boy, do I ever love this thread! bookmarking for when the polls shift.

Joey Heatherton, though?

how bout Lola Heatherton?

"I want to BEAR YOUR CHILD!!!!"

[miss_kitty]

12. I believe the catchphrase was:

"I want to BEAR YOUR CHILDREN!"

BTW remember George Carlin's old piece about beards? "Gabby Hayes had WHISKERS!"

[Carni]

14. LOL! I am not familiar with this person!

But this woman definitely has a *do* that could have inspired Luntz and Trafficant!

[miss_kitty]

15. It's Catherine O'Hara

SCTV, Cookie Guggelman Fleck in 'Best in Show' (the slutty one-"hey don't I know you from somewhere...") the mom in the 'Home Alone' movies...
From IMDb:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001573/

[Gabi Hayes]

11. toupee sketch....couldn't find ANY websites with bad toupee pix yet

Toupee Department
As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 41



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The cast:
TOUPEE MANAGER
Terry Jones
CHRIS QUINN
Eric Idle
BRADFORD
Michael Palin
CRAWLEY
Graham Chapman


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The sketch:
(A hand holding a sign saying 'Toupees' beckons Chris Quinn. He goes over to door and is ushered through. There are pictures of famous bald world figures with toupees on the walls.)
Toupee Manager: Don't worry, sir, you're among friends now, sir. (the manager has an appalling toupee; Chris sees it and tries not to stare; the manager introduces his assistants) Mr Bradford, Mr Crawley. (Bradford and Crawley come forward; each has a toupee worst than the others) These are our fitters, sir. We've had a lot of experience. in this field and we do pride ourselves we offer the best and most discreet service available. I don't know whether you'll believe this sir, but one of us is actually wearing a toupee at this moment...

Chris: Well, you all are, aren't you?

(They rush to a mirror.)

Bradford: Have you got one?

Crawley: Yes, but I didn't know...

Toupee Manager: I didn't realize that you two.., I thought it was me,

Crawley: Yes, I thought it was me,

Bradford: So did I. (to Crawley) That is good.

Chris: Actually, I only came in here to ask where the manager's office was.

Toupee Manager: Just a minute - someone told you we all had toupees?

Chris: No.

Crawley: Oh yeah?

Bradford: How did you know?

Chris: Well ... it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Crawley: What do you mean obvious! His is undetectable.

Chris: Well, it's a different colour, for a start.

Bradford: Is it?

Crawley: Course it isn't!

Chris: And it doesn't fit in with the rest of his hair... it sort of sticks up in the middle.

Bradford: It's better than yours.

Crawley: Yes.

Chris: I'm not wearing one. (they all jeer)

Toupee Manager: Oh, I see, you haven't got one.

Crawley: Why did you come in here then?

Chris: They told me to find the manager's office here.

(They all jeer again.)

Bradford: Oh no, not again.

Crawley: That's a bit lame, isn't it...

Chris: It's the truth!

All: Manager's office. (they laugh mockingly)

Bradford: Yeah, look at it. Where did you get that, Mac Fishcries?

Toupee Manager: Dreadful, isn't it?

Crawley: Nylon?

Chris: It's not, it's real look. (he pulls it)

All: Oh yeah, anyone can do that.

(They all do the same. Bradford incautiously pulls his loose.)

Crawley: Come on, get if off.

Chris: Get away.

Toupee Manager: Look, do you want a proper one?

Chris: No, I don't need one.

Bradford: There's no need to be ashamed.

Crawley: We've all owned up.

Chris: I'm not wearing one.

(They all look at each other for a moment, registering 'a hard case'.)

Toupee Manager: Don't you see... this is something you've got to come to terms with.

Chris: I am not wearing a toupee! They just told me to come in here to find the manager's office, to complain about my ant!

(They look at each other.)

Crawley: Pathetic, isn't it.

Bradford: Complain about an ant?

Toupee Manager: This is for your own good.

(He grabs Chris's hair. A fight ensues in which all the assistants get their toupees dislodged. Chris is backed up against a door marked: 'Strictly no admittance'. He suddenly ducks out through this door... and lands in the...)