re: Aliengirl

[everythingsxen]

Hi, for those of you who don't know, I am Tucker's boyfriend.

Our roomate went to the apartment complex today and told them a string of half-truths and outright lies.

I know because I was there dropping off the rent check and listened to her lie for about 10 minutes before she noticed I was there.

When I confronted her about it, she said she had contacted a lawyer today about forcing us to pay for her couch and lamp (which we had already agreed to do, our bird ate them) and to pay for any and all damages in the apartment as well as us paying the pet deposit.

She has a cat, which means I told her to cough up the $300 for the pet deposit, then we got the bird and I asked the Apartment complex about it and they said birds required no deposit.

She was unhappy with this answer though and demanded we pay half of it anyway.

It also seems she has swayed Tuckers friend under her spell so she is siding with her on all counts, or so it seems.

Things look very bleak right now for her, and I. I am not sure what to do...

[DemBones DemBones]

1. I'm sorry to hear that and have been very concerned about

Tucker's earlier post. I'm glad to hear you are there with her.

[AlienGirl]

10. Yes, I was strongly considering suicide

Things just look so hopeless. The world has always been screwed-up and always will be, and I'm in mega-debt and don't know if I'll ever get out, and whoever heard of a psychologist with depression? Grad schools and professional jobs aren't for people like me who were born poor and who've lost so much and screwed up so much.

Anyway, I'm hanging on for the night. Tossed a coin, it came up "wait." Maybe tomorrow I'll feel like living.

Tucker

[kick-ass-bob]

16. Lets start here:

Mega debt can easily be managed - you just need a plan, and one option is bankruptcy (if it is really bad - not a first option.)

Whoever heard of a psychologist with depression? Why do you think psychologists go into that field? Usually there is something wrong in their life, and they want to figure it out. Most psych people are psych people for that reason.

3rd: Just leave the apartment. Don't pay any more. Let 'em sue you for half of two months rent - how much would that be? Likely, it would cost them more in legal fees than they would receive.

Go find a cheap place to live and start anew.

I won't touch the suicide thing - since I am not a professional.

The beautiful thing about life is that every day can be a new beginning, but you have to choose to let go of the past.

[AlienGirl]

17. I went bankrupt once already

Most of my debt is student loans, which are not taken care of through bankruptcy.

I am a worthless person in a hopeless life, is what it boils down to.

Tucker

[kick-ass-bob]

18. If you say you are, well then I guess you are right.

Keep concentrating on the negatives - that will always pull you down.

People may laugh at the concept of 'positive-thinking' but just think how bad you feel when you talk like this.

Then start thinking of good things (whatever they may be) and see how your attitude changes. It's physiological.

I'm not here to tell you that you aren't worthless - you have to do that for yourself. Or go find a professional that will help you through this.

Good luck. :hug:

[rockymountaindem]

22. Don't you even think about killing yourself.

It tears your family apart. It's about the worst thing you can do to your parents and family.

[miss_kitty]

21. many psychologists have depression

as a psychologist, you should know that. And as a psychologist, you have counseling available to you. Use it.

If you have a chemical imbalance that causes you to feel hopelessly low, get treatment for it. THEN you can take responsibility for your happiness.

[MissMarple]

2. Time and distance cure many things.

Good luck, you may want to make other arrangements as soon as you can. True friends usually come around when they get a better understanding of the situation. :hug: for both of you.

And do you have a cage for the bird?

[everythingsxen]

3. We have a cage,

However the lock was lost for a few days and he got out.

[rsmith6621]

4. The Peoples Court has Come To The DU

If You Have a Dispute with someone.......Take em to Court

[everythingsxen]

5. I wish it were that easy

Unfortunately it isn't.

She also seems to be settling a grudge against us. So it isn't about the money, it's about making us suffer.

[miss_kitty]

6. I am Puzzled

you say "She has a cat, which means I told her to cough up the $300 for the pet deposit, then we got the bird and I asked the Apartment complex about it and they said birds required no deposit.

She was unhappy with this answer though and demanded we pay half of it anyway."

so are you going to pay it because she DEMANDS it? I hope not. That doesn't seem to be terms of occupancy in the place you live. A lawyer won't be able to make you pay it. A lawyer will tell her that for like $300 an hour.

I'd consider telling her that the slander she laid on the landlord about you totally negates any kind of consideration you might have had in that direction.

Let her pay for an attorney. You said you are taking responsibility for what your bird did and do that. but since she's a big baby and a liar-don't go out of your way. MOVE OUT ASAP. Fulfill your obligations to her. and if Tucker's 'friend' dumps you two in favour of lying baby bitch girl, consider it a cheap price to pay to offload disloyal flotsam like that.

can you tell disloyalty and lying are a couple of hot button issues with me?

There are plenty of vacancies in Seattle these days. You don't have to stay there do you?

PS submit a well-written 'I, Anonymous' to The Stranger after you move! :)

[DemBones DemBones]

7. Vous ete "right on," mlle_chatte. nt

[AlienGirl]

8. It really is about a grudge

We sided with that other friend of mine when this roomie was doing things that made her--and me--Very Nervous.

Tucker (still despairing)

[miss_kitty]

9. So can you two get out?

can you get her out? Are you bound by a lease?

[AlienGirl]

11. We are bound by lease until Dec. 1

[miss_kitty]

12. argggghhh!

okay. can you appeal to your landlord's better nature about letting you out early? Can you stay with friends? A night here, a night there, when things get too awful?

You know I have had some really less than brilliant times in my life. But for all my roommate troubles, and my no money bad/no job times that were all converging I felt very depressed-not suicidal-so if you have been feeling like that way, I can not address it-I have found that this stuff passes and it is only really awful when I am going through it.

If you can get out of the lease, it will end soon. Less than 2 months.

When I run into shit like this, I'm glad I am here, no matter how bad it is for me here, it is never as bad as it is in say, Sudan, or Iraq, or being Palestinian, or Catholic in parts of Northern Ireland, whatever it takes. I am not starving, I am not freezing, I can bathe pretty much whenever I want. And for all the scary fear shit talk the cheney-bush junta throws down, shit is not blowing up all over the place.:)

And as long as I can live through it, there is always a chance for it to get better.

[AlienGirl]

13. It never seems to get better, though

Yes, it has been worse.

Even for me, in my little memory of this lifetime, it's been worse. But...when will it get *better*?

Tucker

P.S. My landlord, being a corporation, has no "better nature."

My student loans aren't in yet and Xen has no job. And there's nowhere we can crash with our aimals.

[miss_kitty]

19. If you are having financial hardships, see if you can get a deferral

on your student loan. (a note here-I had a finely crafted answer I spent 30 minutes on and my fucking browser crashed-again :argh:) If Xen has student loans and no job-deferral is a piece of piss there for Xen.

You'd be surprised maybe about your landlord. December and January are the hardest months to rent in.

I lived in the darkness from about the age of 3 till I was about 35. My twenties were my worst. It was a long time but it took me that long to figure out I WAS RESPONSIBLE for my own happiness. If I had a quarter for every time my idiot sister curled her lip into a sneer at me and said "You are so fucking negative!" I'd be able to wash my car, do my laundry and park all over downtown for months.

"...when will it get *better*?" That is not a question I can answer. The fact is it will start getting *better* when you resolve to make it better. and not till then. I'm sorry. That is the secret to a happy life. Kind of a letdown, I know.

But here's what I was explaining to you when my browser crashed: The best revenge is living well. Don't let this person, who is lucky to just BE in your presence see you upset with her actions. Smile. Whistle. Hum happy tunes. Be pleasant to her-otherwise, she'll have won. You get to CHOOSE your reaction to her bad behaviour-choose the happy one, even if you have to pretend your ass off. After a while, it'll will become less hard to pretend-philosophy follows action sometimes :evilgrin:

Also some people are not suited to have roommates; I too, am one of those, so let's not live together! :)

Spend the next less than two months looking for a place...

good luck-you can make it better-i promise!

miss_kitty

[soothsayer]

15. It's nearly Dec 1. Get a calendar and mark off the days with a big red X

while you plot your escape.

Whoever heard of a psychologist with depression? LOL, I think it's widely accepted that psychologists are themselves pretty screwed up (doesn't mean they can't help you, but they are indeed often working out their own issues too).

[REP]

14. Lesson Learned: NO ROOMMATES!

I think most of y'all are in your 30s, and it's time to suck it up and be adults. You're staying with this friend, and having two extra people in an apartment is hell on fucking earth, and the strain is showing. Suck it up until Dec 1 and then get out, and write the mess off to experience.

In the meantime, pay up what you agreed to pay up and try to spend as little time in the apartment as possible. Cramming that many peole into an apartment really doesn't work, especially with a couple and an assortment of unattached people. It's barely tolerable with people in their early 20s, but as people get older and more set in their ways, the more difficult it becomes.

[jus_the_facts]

20. suicide is such a selfish act....

...what about your boyfriend who cares about you and seems to care enough to make this *petty* issue public to help garner some support around here for you as well? Sorry AG but there really isn't anything bad enough to commit suicide over...especially something as trivial as MONEY...and when you obviously have people that support you emotionally then accept that support and stop feelin' sorry for yourself....life does indeed suck on many levels for everybody to greater and lesser degrees....but giving up isn't the answer and I think you already know this....and I'm NOT tryin' to minimize your depression in the least either....just live one day at a time and make the BEST of every bad thing that happens...it's all any of us can do...literally! Hope all gets worked out soon for you and yours.
:pals: :loveya: