Attention lurking freelance writers: If you call me by the wrong name,

[eyesroll]

you won't get any work from me. :eyes:

Today, I received a query addressed to "Slade."
My name is Stacie.
My name is typed out neatly multiple times in every issue of this magazine. To the best of my knowledge, it's correct in all of the "Writer Handbook"-type publications.
I do not see the difficulty here.

[Donkeyboy75]

1. Sorry, Scabies.

Will you now accept my bio on Solar Radio?

[eyesroll]

OK, Scabies is far worse.

And, sorry, you're querying the wrong mag by a long shot.

[Donkeyboy75]

3. I can't do anything right!

:cry:

[redqueen]

2. Hm

Maybe they scanned in your contact info using some kind of OCR software?

Or maybe they just have a crush, and that's their pet name for you. :)

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. Mama, Weer All Crazee Now.

[Viking12]

5. But "Slade" sounds so butch and adventurous

Shouldn't you be a mercenary in Afghanistan or something, Slade? :)

[eyesroll]

6. If I was a mercenary in Afghanistan, I wouldn't be receiving these queries

would I?

:argh:

[Richardo]

7. Dear Staicii

I have wrote an great article about cleansor for the toylet areas. What is you're e-mail adres?

Hopefully,

Joe Freelance

[eyesroll]

8. The best was from someone applying for a job two years ago:

To whom it may concern:
My name is Prince. I am a 19-year-old college student seeking employment working with Milwaukee's minority and low-income youth. Please call me to set up a time for an interview.
Thank you,
Prince

(Yes, his name was Price -- he did have a last name but I don't remember what. Unfortunately, the job being advertised had nothing to do with working with Milwaukee's minority and low-income youth; it was editorial work requiring a Bachelors degree.)

[Beware the Beast Man]

9. "See the chameleon, lying there in the sun

All things to everyone, run, run away."

Thanks! :grr:

[RetroLounge]

10. Dear Slash,

I neede a job reel badd.

pleaz set up a intrvuw as suun as posibl

p.s. I loved your work in Guns and Roses...

RL

[eyesroll]

11. Prince! Is that you?

[CarolynEC]

12. Dear Shane...

Come back!!!

[Laszlo_Hollyfeld]

13. Might be a handwriting problem.

It's epidemic. My name's Clint and thanks to the bad handwriting of receptionists and switchboard operators, I've been Oint more than a few times.

[HEyHEY]

14. That's NOT what I want to hear today!

I wrote a cover letter for that radio job. I was told the station manager's name was Jamie.... when I got to the station, I found out it was actually "james"

KISS THAT JOB GOOD BYE!!!

[Susang]

15. That was me

I thought you liked glam rock. My bad. :-(