Newsday on Rodney: He Had A Million of 'Em

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, "There goes the neighborhood!"
* * *
"Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide.' He told me to pay in advance."
* * *
"One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh."
* * *
"Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H."
* * *
"Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died, they asked my mother, 'Paper or plastic?' "
* ***
"My uncle's dying wish, he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair."
* * *
"I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel."
* * *
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
* * *
"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor, so they sent a priest to talk to me. He said, "On your mark. . ."
* * *
"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday."
* * *
"I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the West."
* * *
"I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin."
* * *
"I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend."
* * *
"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

Copyright © 2004, Newsday, Inc.

[zbdent]

1. He was hilarious

my wife believes that you can only take so much of his style . . .

He will be sorely missed. God rest his soul . . .

I can see it now . . .

"I got to the Pearly Gates - Saint Peter said 'Deliveries in the back . . . and don't let anybody see you!'"

[GCP]

2. "When I was born, the doctor took one look at me -

and slapped my mother"!!

I loved the guy.
RIP Rodney, you gave us a million laughs. :toast:

[latebloomer]

3. What great lines!

I am really sad about his death.

Thanks for posting this.

[welshTerrier2]

4. My high school was tough

after they sacked the quarterback, they went after his family ...

[BlackVelvetElvis]

5. SCTV's Dave Thomas did a great Dangerfield impersonation.

"My wife told me to take out the trash. She's always trying to fix me up with dates."

[ReadTomPaine]

6. The first stanza of Billy Joel's "My Life" was written for him.

I posted this elsewhere, but wanted to share with those here as well.

"Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close
Said he couldn't go on the American way
Closed the shop, sold the house
Bought a ticket to the west coast
Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L A"

RIP Rodney!

[tibbir]

7. My friend can't understand how I feel about him.

I loved watching him. I don't always laugh at comics' jokes but I always did at his.