Joke: young Republican in a Hummer vs. old man on a moped

[joefree1]

After years of saving and borrowing a young Republican finally finds the means to buy an expensive Hummer H2. He immediately takes it for a drive around his neighborhood to show off.

Coming to a stop sign, a nice old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny yellow Humvee and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"

The young man replies, "A Humvee H2. You're looking at a $50,000.00 dollar modern day urban assault vehicle. I can take this baby on any terrain from city streets full of potholes to the rocky mountains of the great outdoors!"

Sitting back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right, but it sure costs a lot of money! How about showing me what it can do with those little itty-bitty hills over in that vacant lot there.

Feeling the old man's challenge the young Republican immediately punches the gas pedal and heads for the several small dirt hills in the middle of the vacant lot. He's heading for the first dirt hill when he sees the old man following him in his rear view mirror. "That old fart thinks he came keep up with me on his old moped," the young man exclaims, "I'll just give him a little dirt bath." He swerves into the first dirt hill turning it into a mushroom cloud of rocks and dirt.

However as the dust settles he sees the old man ahead of him bouncing through the next couple of dirt hills and bushes. Shocked and chagrined he slams the peddle to the medal and smashes through the hilly terrain in pursuit of the old man. After several seconds of mind numbing gyrations through dirt, rocks, and bushes he sees the old man is behind him but is once again rapidly catching up.

"Couldn't be!" thinks the young repub. "How could a moped outrun a Hummer?!" Throwing all caution to the wind he tries to slam his way through the last and biggest set of dirt hills. However he's gone one hill too many and slams into the base of the biggest hill where the Hummer stops dead, it's front buried up to the windshield in mud and dirt.

Looking about at his now ruined Hummer he suddenly hears Whooooosh and KablaMMM! The young man jumps out to see what the sound is and it is the old man!!! He's slammed into the rear of the Humvee.

He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Omigod! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers in a raspy breath, "Unhook...my suspenders...from your side-view mirror..."



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[soupkitchen]

1. A young republican asks an old man, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

How funny is that?