witness fundie guilt over masturbation

[ButterflyBlood]

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=123358&page=1&pp=25

[skypilot]

1. Lots of "falling" going on over there.

If they are so busy praying for each other to stop "falling" when do they have time to pray for anything else. I mean, my God, of all the things to pray about with everything going on these days. :eyes:

[ronnykmarshall]

24. I've fallen and I can't get up!

[skypilot]

27. I'll pray for you.

:evilgrin:

[TroubleMan]

55. I've fallen ...... AND I NEED SOME TISSUES!!

You know one of the people posting on that board is masturbating to that thread.

[kcwayne]

2. It would be nice if they would figure out how to live according to their

ideology, it would correct the gene pool in one generation, as long as they didn't adopt.

[FizzFuzz]

3. sad to waste that much energy hating oneself

for your biology. And they come (!) back again and again and again and again to announce yet another "fall"...why, I'd almost (gasp) think they like the attention.
:eyes:

I wonder if Jaysus looks down and says "so get your mind off the subject, already!!"


hmm the one with the sig picture of a cute fairy with unicorn...that's WITCH stuff, ain't it? Let's boil her in hot oil!!! Praise Jeeezus.

[Skittles]

4. idots

nt

[ChrisK]

5. It seems these folks "fall" a lot

Too bad they have never heard of biology...Not trying to make fun of them but what there feeling is fairly natural but to them I think nature is wrong in some odd, misshapen way...very sad.

Whats worse is it seems some of them aren't even trying (just look at heavenlierelm in those first posts)...like there hoping that there god will fix it all if they pray but there not willing to stop with there own will power...just seems defeatists if you ask me.

[FizzFuzz]

7. reminds me of a young borderline retarded girl I knew who

was constantly coming to a Catholic group, turning all the attention to her daily announcements of her sinning again and crying and asking for prayers to help her stop...it was the only way she had to get any attention I think, cuz she wasn't really capable of participating on any other level, like listening to and thinking about what other people talked about.

sad .... they should have tried to turn her attention to other things, life, activities, trying to challenge herself to work on an ambition of some sort

[Dookus]

6. sweet jesus

if anybody could benefit from a good wank, it'd be those jerk-offs!

[FizzFuzz]

10. second that

...motion. }(

[Dookus]

8. gee

and people wonder how perversions are born:

"Something that helps me in my times of temptation is to think and believe that every time you sin, you put a nail through Christs wrist. Or you lash Him with a whip, or put a crown of thorns on His head, or you stand in the company of those who said, "We want Barrabas!"

Thats really helping me lately. Just an hour ago I was really tempted, but now that I thought about those things, I've fallen out of my temptation.

Praying for you guys."


Yeah, every time you jerk off, think about whipping Jesus.

[skypilot]

11. "The Passion of the Christ"...

...must be like hardcore porn for that guy.

[TheMightyFavog]

14. Whipping Jesus?

Is that what they're calling it these days? :shrug:

[Zuni]

37. That is one image that NEVER crosses my mind

when I clean the pipes.

[alvis]

9. Think of the kittens

[Fridays Child]

12. Bailiff, whack their pee-pees!

x(

[On the Road]

13. These Some Misguided Idealistic People

I was a fundamentalist when I was 18 and this stuff tortured me. It was an absolutely huge issue.

These people are really trying to do what's right, they're just attempting something their bodies scream against constantly.

If you take a step back, it is pretty funny, though.

[skypilot]

16. I'm taking a step back because...

...I don't want to get covered in...well...you know.

[Phillycat]

38. "I fell about half an hour ago".

LOL! Do you think he washed his hands before posting?

[skypilot]

40. I doubt it.

He's probably sniffing them as he types.

[Droopy]

15. If I didn't "fall" about 3 or 4 times a week

I'd seriously embarrass myself every time the wind blows as I don't have a partner to help me out with things.

There was one post on there about a person who was having dreams of a sexual nature. That's what happens if you don't "fall" every once in a while. It turns out that "falling" is very natural and beneficial to your well being.

[Zuni]

39. If you aren't having sex or masturbating and you are a guy

you will find yourself tense, anxious, easily confused and pressure will build up. You have to drain the baby batter or you will be miserable.

[Mr. Blonde]

62. Clearly you missed the Seinfeld episode where

George gave up sex and became incredibly smart.

[HEyHEY]

17. Anyone dare me to....

Go on that site and post "I'm falling right now."

[Dookus]

18. I double-dog dare ya

[HEyHEY]

20. righto!

[HEyHEY]

21. Ah shit they wanted a valid email I ain't giving them mine

Dang I was gonna have some fun.

[WoodrowFan]

22. not even

if we triple dog dare you!! you can get a free yahoo email account!

[HEyHEY]

47. I used it, it wouldn't accept it

[kixot]

50. I'm PM'ing you a temp e-mail address on my own domain that you can use

Gimmie 5 mins.

[NamVetsWeeLass]

78. valid e-mail addy???

Fear not... Email anything to a name that you Make up @mailinator.com... I have used [e-mail].....Then go to www.mailinator.com and type in the name you made up.... Honest it works.

[ronnykmarshall]

25. Hey Dookus ...... wanna fall??

[Maestro]

19. These people are warped.

It is natural people except I guess when you prefer masturbation more than the real thing I suppose. But stop worrying about it. I actually read where masturbation is healthy in that it helps with premature ejaculation and the like. I feel sorry for these people. Okay, no I don't, but how sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ronnykmarshall]

23. That was creeeeeeepy!

:scared:

[ronnykmarshall]

26. OK boys!

Which one of ya what's to fall with me????

[the Princess]

30. Does it have to be a guy?????????

I'm ready :)

LOLOL

Women do that too - they just never admit it. Well - except me that is.

[ronnykmarshall]

32. Come on baby!

Let's FALLLLLLL!!!

[the Princess]

43. Woooooo Hooooooooo

YEAH!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrr

[Droopy]

31. All this talk about "falling" has got me thinking about "falling"

I think I'll go for a quick "fall" before I head out to work.

[ronnykmarshall]

34. Nothing like knockin' off a fall before work.

[the Princess]

28. So much guilt

over something that is natural. OH poor poor fundies - never have any fun at all. LOL

[baldguy]

29. They just aren't Masters Of Their Domain.

[Zuni]

33. did you read the rest of the site?

These people are real hardcore

[makhno]

42. Hmm

Lots of unhappy folks. Maybe they should fall more often; I usually find it helps getting through a bad day. :P

[matcom]

35. Is "Free Falling" By Tom Petty

the DEVIL'S MUSIC?

[SemiCharmedQuark]

36. Thank Goodness I overcame the sin of pride...not like you losers

:eyes:

[Phillycat]

41. Is it wrong that this site kind of turns me on?

All that guilt...all those young hormones...and then the falling, the falling...I'm sorry but THAT'S HOT! :evilgrin:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

44. I've fallen and I can't get up

I usually like a little nap afterwards.

:silly:

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

[Taverner]

45. To be honest, those kind of people make me sick

Anyone who has that much self-hatred and loathing cannot be doing anything positive for society, period.

Call me a religious bigot, but I think we'd all be better off without those fundie scum spreading their poison into our society.

[sangh0]

46. I'm praying for this one

I just came across this thread and have to commend all you people on your honesty.I have struggles in this area also.And surprisingly I hate to tell all you single people but I only started to feel this way after 4 years into my marriage.Before then I was bacically pure.Sex or anything of that nature never interested me.It wasnt until we installed the internet that I was suddenly exposed to a whole world of temptations I had never faced when I was single.My problem however is more of wanting to feel desired by men and craving there attention.I think Ive always been THAT way but just died to those feelings when I got saved.It also doesnt help and I hope Im not being too graphic but my husband doesnt have the same sex drive as myself which makes it twenty time harder and puts pressure on the relationship.Usually its the other way around.But yeah I have the same thing goin on and some days its so intense you could scream.But I try and ask God for strength on those days.

I think s/he just made this up to drive the others to "fall". I imagine the other posters reading that post and thinking to themselves "Darn, that's one heck of a hot heathen!!!"

[NamVetsWeeLass]

48. I guess sending them a link for

religious Sexual items wouldn't be a good thing huh? ::immediately goes to site and Copies Link:: Ya know, yet another reason to hate Fundies.... "I fell..." You did? Gods, I hope you washed your hands before you typed your message.

[Bossy Monkey]

49. Sort of a Penthouse Forum for morons-- wait, that's redundant n/t

[Blue-Jay]

51. Stop touching your dirty dirty penis!

"It's my shower & my soap. I can wash it as many times as I want."

[LiberalManiacfromOC]

52. I actually feel bad about laughing about his but its way to funny!

[ButterflyBlood]

53. AHAHAHAH, check this out

"I recommand that each person interested would write a petition against porn and get 10 signatures on the letter and then send it off to George Bush.

if ten 10 did this that would mean 100 signatures and George Bush would have to be foolish to risk the loss of 100 votes or more."

oh yes please, don't vote for him!

[ButterflyBlood]

54. more ridiculousness

"some of you might know that I went to see the Last Samurai last nite.

I would not recommand that you see it until it comes out on DVD. there are two scenes where someone is taking a bath. you really dont see anything personal but that is still questionable content

and there is a sex scene later in the movie.

at least if you wait till to see it on DVD you can fast forward it to the next chapter.

I was lucky last nite I had a christian friend with me and he told me when it was safe to look at the screen it again. (I looked at the ground during the scenes)"

[montana_hazeleyes]

73. how did his christian friend

know when it was okay to look unless said christian friend was looking himself?

[T Town Jake]

56. "Please help me I'm faallllllling...." Wasn't that an old C & W tune?

n/t

[Girlieman]

59. Boz Scaggs

[JVS]

57. These kids need to read some Luther

If you are a preacher of mercy, do not preach an imaginary but the true mercy. If the mercy is true, you must therefore bear the true, not an imaginary sin. God does not save those who are only imaginary sinners. Be a sinner, and let your sins be strong, but let your trust in Christ be stronger, and rejoice in Christ who is the victor over sin, death, and the world. We will commit sins while we are here, for this life is not a place where justice resides. We, however, says Peter (2. Peter 3:13) are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where justice will reign. It suffices that through God's glory we have recognized the Lamb who takes away the sin of the world. No sin can separate us from Him, even if we were to kill or commit adultery thousands of times each day. Do you think such an exalted Lamb paid merely a small price with a meager sacrifice for our sins? Pray hard for you are quite a sinner.

---A Letter From Luther to Melanchthon
Letter no. 99, 1 August 1521, From the Wartburg

[Maestro]

58. The most disgusting thing about that place is this

Curiosity got the best of me and I sort of surfed the place, but quickly came upon this and I got a sick feeling in my stomach.



It really sickens me that Shrub be compared to Lincoln and Washington, true leaders in times of turmoil. Shrub isn't worthy enough to wipe their asses.

As far as the masturbation thing, they are sorry people brainwashed by St. Augustinian theology the claims sexual desire is harmful. And the only reason St. Augustine wrote that was to atone for his swinging ways before "reforming."

[No2W2004]

66. no, they aren't there to help out poor shrubby,

They're just holding him till Teddy Roosevelt can come kick his ass!

[NightTrain]

60. I've said it before and I'll say it again....

THANK GOD I'M AN ATHEIST!!!

[skooooo]

61. It's hard work staying pure (nt)

[Djinn]

63. someone should let them know

that help is at hand - they just need one of these...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/03/sci_nat_wellcome_exhibition/html/7.stm

it's sad though really without self gratification these folks are in for a looonnnggg dry spell I think.

[NoodleBoy]

64. I can't stop laughing

I just can't.

"I fell about a half hour ago."

These people seem to jerk it more then anyone I know, and then they go on message boards and talk about it. What kind of people do this to themselves?

[brainshrub]

65. That is that most fucked-up link I have ever followed on DU.

I don't know what's weirder... imagining a masturbating fundamentalist, or reading that how they actually feel GUILTY about it as they admit that they "fell."

Damn. What a sad existence they lead.

[BigMcLargehuge]

67. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

and remember, everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

[slutticus]

68. I "fell" about 10 minutes ago...

:evilgrin:

[T Town Jake]

69. Jeeze Louise, just finished reading through that entire thread..

...does that mean I'll go blind? :crazy:

[Maestro]

70. No, but I question your sanity

:)

[TroubleMan]

71. Do I need to IM you with "Are you pure?"

lol....

[T Town Jake]

75. ROFLMAO...you saw that one too, eh? What a riot...

...Whooo-boy, I've truly lived to see it all...an entire forum dedicated to those "afflicted" with the desire to club their teeny stubbies - and commiserate with each other about it online!

[TroubleMan]

72. Now read this other DU thread and see if they're related:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=2458411


I wonder if they "fell" thinking about Cheney?

Did they "go Cheney" themselves?

[the Princess]

74. We Need to Send Them A Joni Mitchell Record

"Help Me, I Think I'm Falling"

:-)

[Bluebear]

76. New marketing idea: "SAINT SALT PETER"

The natural Way to losing your earthly lust.

[ButterflyBlood]

77. well i have to go to bed now, class at 8 am

but I think I'll fall right before going off to bed :D

[T Town Jake]

79. Kick for laughs & further ridicule.

:kick:

[FlemingsGhost]

80. Thanks Butterfly. I really needed the laughs.

And thank you, fellow DUers. Funniest thread in a long time.

Damn, I gotta hang out in the Lounge more often ...

[Guy_Montag]

81. Cheers guys & gals

I've not read such a good thread for a long time. I've been laughing until it hurt.