A Poem by daughter for an English assignment........

[ElsewheresDaughter]

her assignment is to write an 8 lines or more poem and illustrate it.
what did ya think?

Terrorism

As the dust settles to the ground
Pale gray faces all around
Streams of tears run down the faces
So many people from so many places
Lost their lives and their loved ones
By terrorist acts of faceless someones
Questions ring throughout my mind
With answers I may never find
Why the hatred Why the death
I mumble underneath my breath
Will this change the world forever
Or will it bring us closer together
Three years later I'm still confused
About the power that's been abused
Now our bombs drop on innocent people
With devastation and terror just as equal
Ask this Question to yourself
Are we the terrorists or someone else?


my daughter wants you DUers to critique this poem before she hands it in...thanks guys

[Parche]

1. poem

republicans are red democrats are blue
This poem is awesome that is true

[greatauntoftriplets]

2. How old is your daughter???

Her poem is very good. Applause to her.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

6. 13

[ceile]

3. It's terrific!

I hope her English teacher reads it to the class.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

4. Excellent!

[Ilsa]

5. Okay, enough begginging for compliments!

That poem was excellent and brilliant, but I'm not a Literature professor. I bet she gets an A for depth of subject, evoking emotions, etc. I love the poem.

(You must be a great momma.) :toast:

[ElsewheresDaughter]

7. thank you folks she feels confident now.....

:yourock:

[tigereye]

9. nice poem - beautiful!

you must be proud.

[Arancaytar]

11. I hope the teacher is not a freeper then ;) This is awesome!

It's been rare indeed that I've seen something of this quality from a 13 yearold. The second time I remember, actually.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

13. she is a John Hopkins Talented Youth Scholar in the top 2% precentile

she must have gotten it from the milkman :shrug:

[fob]

8. Very nice poem. I offer one bit of constructive criticism.

The last line would be more thought-provoking if it wer arranged to ask the reverse, like this;

Are they the terrorists or someone else?

Otherwise great work

(Note advice above is my opinion only - I'm FOB and I approve this message)

[ElsewheresDaughter]

12. FOB...she took your advice and made the change she likes it .....

and thanks you :7

[fob]

15. I feel honored!

[onebigbadwulf]

10. Beauty

Magnifique.

[vinnievin777]

14. That is amazing

I have to say that is one of the best poems I have ever read. Much better than my poems on my site. You should send that as a letter to the editors of your local papers. Also you should enter it in poetry contests.
May this find everyone happy and well,
Vinnie

http://www.vinnievin.com

[ElsewheresDaughter]

17. why, thank you Vinnie for your kind words. i will show her these posts...

especially yours. I'm certain it will go along way in encouraging her to write more poetry...i will ask her permission to submit it to our local paper and to enter her poem in a contest somewhere (do you have any suggestions or links?), when she gets home from school today.

[LiberalManiacfromOC]

16. Wow! excellent!! She's a year younger than me and I could never write that

:yourock: