Stranger in My Own Home

[Misunderestimator]

My ex and I broke up many months ago, but we still own this house together (less than half a mile from her parents' house). Fortunately she travels during the week, but she's here on weekends, and when she is, every time the phone rings, or the doorbell rings (without warning), it's her parents. I was in the workout room for the past hour and didn't even know that our home had for the second time this weekend been invaded by the "family." To them... this is HER house. Looks like another afternoon of being stranded on the lanai, on my computer and reading books while the "family" watches football games.

Somebody save me from my own private hell! We still need to work out the details of splitting up our assets, and selling my half of the house to her, and me finding a job in the place I plan to move, plus all the other headaches. It may be months before I can escape. I cannot wait until MONDAY! (Never thought I'd say that.) :mad:

[knowbody0]

1. good luck baby

believe it or not it is a good time to get to know yourself

[Misunderestimator]

8. Yes, it is... and it has been a wonderful summer and more of doing that.

If nothing else, this weekend invasion gives me more impetus to get off my ass and get changing. :)

[mhr]

2. Might I Suggest You Sell The Home And Split The Proceeds

That way the pain is shared by both parties and the notion that it is her house disappears.

[Misunderestimator]

5. She wants to keep the house.

It's the whole reason we moved here in the first place. We're amicable, and even though she's the cause of my leaving, I don't want to make things worse for her. We've seen a lawyer and already gotten the ball rolling. She'll give me have the equity and half the cost of all the improvements, etc., and refinance in her name. I just want out.

[mhr]

16. Might I Suggest You Are Being Way To Nice In This Matter

Human nature generally expects the pain to be spread around.

I think you may forget this decision later in life.

Sell the house and split the proceeds. If she wants to buy another home, then that his her business.

[supernova]

3. Oh dear, here's a hug

:hug: for the unwanted in-laws.

Any chance you could change the locks? "Oh, I thought some burglars were sneaking around..." :shrug:

[Misunderestimator]

6. It's a nice thought, but we're trying to approach it on fair terms.

It was my mistake for moving here in the first place. I'm a sucker.

[madrchsod]

4. for the love of god get a lawyer

you live in the house and she is gone right? it`s your house now and you have the right to say who comes and goes unless their name is on the papers also. hell change the locks or get a really big dog..good luck!!!

[Misunderestimator]

7. No, she's not gone. She just travels on business during the week...

as she has done throughout the relationship (one of the reasons for the reason we split up... as cryptic as that sounds :)). We have a lawyer already for doing the paperwork and all, and we're not contesting anything... it's all very "amicable."

[LynneSin]

9. You can hang out at my place!!

Abbott & Evita said they would share their sofa with you!!

[Misunderestimator]

10. I'm thinking of kidnapping Otis... can he come with me?

:hi:

[SarahB]

11. You are me.

Add children into the mix and the necessary responsibilities of that and it's me as well. We have a good deal of equity and as we keep moving forward with the divorce, hopefully the market can stay good enough for him to refinance to include my half of the equity (he wants the house more and I want the divorce; we plan on joint custody).
My job situation is harder because I don't want to begin our paperwork until I have my own benefits. I already got one job, but the logistics were such that I wouldn't have had enough money to move anytime soon if I took the job, so I couldn't take it. Here's the why of that: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=2468514#2468662

Then, there's this other lingering situation for more than a year as well that I don't talk about on DU because it's very private and personal.

Anyway, I empathize, understand, and all that stuff. More than you think, so here's a big hug.

Ok, a few: :hug: :hug: :hug:

edit: to retain every more privacy for the time being

[Misunderestimator]

12. Your situation is definitely harder than mine.

I can afford to get out, thank goodness, but I need to do some negotiating with my current job with the hope of keeping it (since I already telecommute), or find another on the West coast.

All the best to you, I hope it works out soon. Thanks for the hugs. :hug:

[SarahB]

13. Thanks.

Hard is relative in matters of the heart. Money aside, it's complicated- with the good and the not-so-good and everything really.
One way or another, I hope things begin to work a little better for me in a number of avenues in my life. I think after some of the things I've been through and worked toward the past few years, I deserve a little bit of some happiness for a change. I try not to get down, but some days are harder than others for sure. Just keep plugging away, that's all I can do.

And thanks for the hugs in return. :)

[no name no slogan]

14. Sounds like my mom's current situation

She got remarried a few years back, and her and the new husband built the "dream house" they always wanted.

However, they didn't get along, and got divorced last winter. They're still sharing the house, along with his grown son, who's 22 and lives "at home". The boys get the downstairs, mom has the upstairs, and they get along okay.

Right now she's waiting for him to finish his new house, so that he and his son can move out. They already refi'd the house and its in her name, so thankfully that's done. However, she's done 30 years at her job and wants to retire-- unfortunately, the six-figure mortgage she now has is preventing that.

Hope your situation works out for you soon. It can be a real hassle just "hurry up and waiting". :thumbsup:

[Misunderestimator]

15. At least they have an upstairs and downstairs... but it does sound similar

We just bought this house together a year ago. Now I have the master bedroom and she has one of the guest bedrooms, but in Florida you don't find many two-story houses, so we share everything else. Sorry about her retirement... that absolutely sucks.