Does this strike you as so sexist you could hurl?

[SarahB]

Ok, there's this guy who will soon be divorcing his wife who is almost ten years younger. One of his biggest concerns is if he can attract a women who is still young because most women his age "don't look very well anymore". He's turning 42 next month. I'm sorry to vent here, but this made me want to absolutely vomit. :puke:

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Hasn't he ever heard that women don't get older...they get better????

Sounds like a selfish schmuck who probably doesn't look so good himself. Perhaps if he has a lot of money he will be able to attract the young babes. Of, course, they will have no brains.

Your soon-to-be ex????

[arcane1]

17. hell yes they do!

:bounce:

[greatauntoftriplets]

23. Good for you....

Great attitude. If I weren't already taken.....

Just joking!!!! But not about the great attitude part.

[SarahB]

42. You are so right.

The older a woman becomes, the more she knows herself and often has much more strength than she once did. That is our real mission I feel as human beings in life.
As to the question, well, I'm not going to answer because I feel as though it's better to speak in generalities at times, but if it were so, it would certainly explain certain reasons, in part anyway.

[ogradda]

2. hurling

yup is this a guy you know? hide your single friends. yech.

[Kierkegaard]

3. Shallow would maybe be a better word. I don't think that is a sexist

remark. Just a remark from a moron who is likely to spend a lot of time alone in the future.

[JimmyJazz]

4. yes it makes me want to vomit considering that is

how old I am and I'm not ready to be put out to pasture just yet. What a fucking tool. I hate men that are so full of themselves they leak out their own ears. That whole "trophy wife" thing bugs the livin' crap outta me. There is something to be said for growing old with someone. Maybe they don't look the same as they did when you first met them, but in your mind's eye they should - unless you're about as deep as a birdbath.

Hey, thanks for letting me high jack your vent! That was fun!

[TexasBushwhacker]

19. The trophy wife thing used to bug me ....

but then I realized that the trophy wives were usually marrying the guys because they had money. That was the trade off. Her commodity was beauty. His commodity was money. May they have a blissfully shallow life together and stay out of the dating pool of REAL PEOPLE who want to find TRUE LOVE.

[JimmyJazz]

21. point well made! Two fewer dipshits we have to sort through

and when I say "we," I mean other people. My husband wouldn't take to kindly to me trying to date at this point in our relationship. :)

[SarahB]

25. However...

People of substance don't place either looks or money as a priority no matter how much money they have or how attractive they may be. There's always going to be someone prettier or richer than you, so you better make sure you're with someone for more substantial reasons I think.

I guess in theory, people are getting a trade off with something like this, but I've always found it disgusting. Maybe I'm a hopeless and naive romantic. Maybe I'm just hopeless sometimes. Not sure.

[TexasBushwhacker]

30. I'd like to think that ....

but then you have those sayings like:

"It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one."

I used to find it disgusting, but then when my really pretty friends started stacking up the lousy relationships and the divorces, I realized that all being beautiful gets you is a lot of attention for your looks. They may have more boyfriends, but they don't have better relationships.

On the other hand, guys with money have to be careful of golddiggers that want them for the money and nothing else. Of course, some don't care. Director Kevin Smith, a totally average looking fat guy, got married to a Playboy Playmate. It's true love! Yeah .... right.

[SarahB]

40. I find...

Being a person who looks fairly good, but has experienced different phases and levels in that regard in my adult life, it gets you noticed more, but more options can sometimes mean weeding through more jerks. Often too, if you're interested in less-superficial types, you have to make the first move as well. I mean, I would hope someone I was involved with found me attractive, but I wouldn't want to feel that my appearance is the sole defining element of how they view me either.

[SarahB]

47. It should be noted.

She's the one who wants the divorce. You're very right though. No way am I giving up when I hit 40 either because people exist with this type of attitude.

[bratcatinok]

80. Don't give up when you're 50 either!

That is, if you're still single.

I met my current fiance at age 50 when he came to service my refrigerator and after we'd talked abit, he asked me if I liked Chinese food.

I told him I did. Three months later he knocked on my door and we've been together ever since. I tease him about it taking 3 months to get the courage up to finally knock on the door.

[latebloomer]

5. Yes!!

He sounds like an arrogant POS who is probably no shining spectacle of pulchritude himself. Any woman unlucky enough to hook up with him, whatever her age, has my sympathies.

[wildeyed]

6. Hope the soon to be ex-wife takes him for every penny. n/t

[blondeatlast]

60. I hope the next one does, too!

And the next one, and ...

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

7. I hope he finds

a woman in her late 20s who is gorgeous.

And treats him like crap, is totally selfish and SHIT in bed.

Hee hee. Sorry, I'm evil.

[SarahB]

10. He had a woman in her early 30's

She was unselfish, great in bed, and treated him well. Then her eyes began to open up a little more and realized she deserved a lot better treatment.

[Beware the Beast Man]

70. So who is she? I have a lot of single friends

Who would fall over themselves to be with such a lady.

[SarahB]

73. I'll give you her name.

Check your PM. :P

[JohnKleeb]

15. heh youre evil but not evil enough

Have him meet a gorgeous "girl" in her mid 20's, like maybe "she'll" lead him on to believe that she wants to wait till marriage until you know doing it, and then they marry and he discovers a little surprise. Yeah I am evil too :D. Sorry if this offends anyone but its a good lesson that looks don't mean everything.

[nini]

8. what a pig

I agree with you. If he's got lots of money I'm sure he'll find some young bimbo to be his trophy wife.

:puke:

[Zomby Woof]

9. sexist AND

He has bad taste if he overlooks the plethora of wonderful women his age. His inner ugliness is probably matched on the outside. He doesn't deserve women in his peer group.

[JohnKleeb]

11. Not only a sexist but a major league ass too

Really I thought you married someone not because how they looked but because of how you feel about them.

[MrScorpio]

12. It's stupid

I'm 43 this month and my wife is older that me.

One of will have to die first to get rid of one another.

This guy sounds like an idiot

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

13. Mr. Moonbeam believes older guys who only go for younger

women are silly, because he thinks women only get better as they get older. See why I love that guy?

[flamingyouth]

14. I hope his ex finds a much younger man

;)

[blondeatlast]

61. Heh! Me too! I even know a few guys that like older women... nt

[tech3149]

16. Not necessarily sexist

but truly stupid or misinformed. He may be a subject of the "image society" the commercial media has sold us. It's been a while since I've seen 42, but that is one of those critical periods in life. I understand how it can make you sick. Unfortunately, my wife did pretty much the same thing at about the same age.

[Pithlet]

18. Yes

Don't worry, though. He'll probably get stuck with someone he deserves.

[brainshrub]

20. Meet his next girlfriend:

Rosie Palm.

[ogradda]

24. ol' faithful huh?

hehehe

[Beware the Beast Man]

46. Her name is Jill, not Rosy:

[blondeatlast]

62. I'm blushing; you wicked Lounge Lizards!

Is it any wonder I hang out here; I mean why do I come here???

Oh, hell, I was right the first time.

[scarlet_owl]

22. That's disgusting.

I'm at a loss for words.

[ant]

26. don't worry

Reminds me of a somewhat funny story. I was driving around Boston once with two guy friends of mine looking for a parking spot. We finally found one, went to park in it, and out of the blue these two meathead idiots in a huge ass truck pulled into the space and started cursing at us that we weren't going to get it. Now, these were big guys, and my friends are scrawny little geek types, so we were all pretty intimidated and felt really deflated that we couldn't stand up for ourselves. So we're driving off in silence, feeling low, and one of my friends said the greatest thing ever (paraphrasing here): "It just makes me feel better to know none of those guys will ever truly connect with another human being as long as they live."

My point is that the guy you mention may very well get his beautiful wife, but that's probably all she'll have to offer him, and he doesn't sound like much of a catch either. And hey, the fewer idiots there are available, the fewer idiots I have to deal with. Let's hope he remarries quickly. No need for lousy products on the market. :)

[Skittles]

27. he is an immature, stupid asshole

he deserves the women who have no self-esteem whatsoever that he will connect with

[SarahB]

43. That's the real issue.

He met his wife when she was in her teens and in a not-so-good situation or place in herself. His idea of "protection" turned into possessiveness and control (emotionally, not physically). Somehow, underneath it all, she still loved herself and believed in herself enough to see beyond certain behaviors and realize that she was much, much stronger (and smarter and more) than she felt for so long. Hopefully, he can keep growing enough to understand that and not be afraid of strong woman. Strength is an admirable quality I feel.

[Kenneth ken]

28. more age-ist than sexist.

sounds like he is having trouble accepting his own aging process.

Whatever his concerns, she will be well-rid of him. :D

[BlueJazz]

29. I don't understand? What's the problem?

[Nikia]

31. I have a female coworker who believed that too

She divorced her second husband who was 10 years younger. Luckily for her, she was able to find a man 9 years younger. She said that men her age looked old. She is in her mid 40s. I would say that she looks young for her age, but the drama of her life has really seemed to age her in these past couple years.
This attitude is probably more common amongst men but I don't think that my coworker is that much of an oddity either.

[Ellen Forradalom]

32. He hasn't seen me, baby

41, no wrinkles, same size as in high school. He only wishes he looks half as good as me. I bet the guy is no Brad Pitt himself.

[blondeatlast]

63. His loss; I've steadily IMPROVED with age, and look 25 times

better than I did in HS.

I'm 45, and my 33 year old hubby and I are CRAZY about each other, even after 8 years!

[SarahB]

68. Me too!

Well, maybe not high school, but I think I look better than I did 10 years ago when I probably made a conscious effort to look really plain. It's not just about being a little blonder either ;), it's the whole thing (not to mention inner confidence).

SarahBelle at 21:


SarahBelle at 32 (my DU Gallery pic) :D:


Personally, I think I'll be look quite nice for a long time- into my 40's and beyond. This kind of attitude is a joke. Especially from a person who knows me now and knew me then. I think he was just trying to piss me off.

[onebigbadwulf]

33. If he has money he doesn't have to worry

Young women always love an older man with cash.

[Droopy]

35. If I was his wife that he was doing this to

he wouldn't have any money after I got done with him.

[Kat45]

34. Women his age "don't look very well anymore"??!!

Hey, I'm a woman older than him (49) and I'll bet I look younger-and better-than he does. As a matter of fact, I've got a very handsome f*buddy who IS younger than him: 33. With an attitude like that, he'll be lucky if women his age will be interested in him, nevermind younger women.

Hi Sarah! :hi:

[SarahB]

44. I know!

You are beautiful and a very wonderful person at the same time.
:yourock:

[Kat45]

50. Thank you, Sarah.

So are you.

:toast:

[blondeatlast]

65. Wow--I'm impressed! My hubby is 12 years younger. nt

[Darth_Kitten]

72. LOL and you have a rockin' green birdie too!!!!

LOL Please give Gracie a scratch for me. ;) :hi: :D

[Ellen Forradalom]

36. And: "don't look so well"?? Like they're sick or something?

Not only is he an ass, he's an ass with a poor grasp of English. Hmmm, I wonder who he's voting for...?

[SarahB]

38. Politically....

He's right on. He's quite informed actually, but yeah, there are grammar issues. His wife helped him in that regard too.

[RetroLounge]

37. Well I am 43 and my wife is 33

but that was just a coincidence. I see many women my own age (and older) in my neighborhood and for some reason I find them most attractive. Probably because they are secure, confident, intelligent and fun.

The only point I can see is if he was interested in having children and thought that would only be possible with a younger woman, but since his very own reasoning was superficial it makes him sound like a first class pig and a jerk.

RL

[SarahB]

39. Nope

He has children and a vasectomy. He said he didn't want anymore no matter what when he got the vasectomy. Because his wife was younger and not ready to say "never" in that regard under different life circumstances, he made the choice, but now worries it will be a hindrance as well.

[RetroLounge]

74. Well, in that case, then yes, it is sexist

and he is a jerk...

RL

[BiggJawn]

41. Oh, he'll find SOME 19-y-o who is impressed with his '79 Camaro....

And his collection of "Spuds McKenzie" T-shirts....

Look at it like this, Sarah....I'm sure that whoever he stumbles across, they'll DESERVE each other....:evilgrin:

[getoffmytrain]

45. blah......

What a moron... i'm 26 and find women a good deal older than me attractive and sexy.

[Zero Division]

79. Yeah, I'm 25 and also find plenty of much older women attractive

Wouldn't surprise me if this guy does have some serious issues with his own aging process.

[Southpaw Bookworm]

48. Likes 'em young and unsure?

When I think of myself when I was in my 20s and supposedly in my prime, I realize that I just didn't know myself and that I hadn't developed the ability to be assertive at all (you know, a pushy bitch :evilgrin:. Oftentime I went along with my BFs just because I didn't know how to make my own feelings and needs known.

Sometimes I wonder if that sort of characteristic is what men who want younger women are subconsciously thinking. They just can't handle a woman who knows her own mind.

Or am I completely off base here and have known way too many shithead men?

[SarahB]

52. Not off base at all.

It's very on base in this particular situation I think. Probably this is the real underlying issue with this person more so than anything to do with external appearances.

[Book Lover]

49. If his first thoughts after being served by divorce papers is

how he will start the next relationship, then he has bigger problems than his sexism.

[SarahB]

51. I agree.

After years of problems, his wife was content to separate for awhile and needed time to figure a few things out within herself (she put a lot aside for family needs over the years). He claims to still be in love with her, but was worried that if he wanted to "date", it would be hard because "women don't want guys who are merely separated". Statements like that showed her how much she really meant to him, what he felt she was good for, and the idea of divorce became easier to swallow.

[Book Lover]

77. It just sounds like a sad, messy situation for all involved

Damn people and their emotions! (to be read in a joking Jon-Stewart-type of voice...)

[Donkeyboy75]

53. Not sexist.

But your gag reflex is understandable.

[Elginoid]

54. everyone is entitled to their own opinion...

he was merely expressing his.

[MikeG]

55. Why is he divorcing his wife?

[SarahB]

57. She's divorcing him.

Stuff like this makes it obvious in part as to why.
Add a few years of his substance abuse (now better apparently, but destroyed much of her trust), other negative behaviors, and other more personal issues between the two.

[MikeG]

58. He should grow up first.

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. I think his wife is right to divorce him. I also think his wife will be

able to sit back and laugh as he makes an ass out of himself trying to snag younger women. It sounds like this man had everything, and now is willing to throw it all away over vanity. I say good riddance. :hug: And lastly, I am glad his wife found out about this before she wasted anymore of her beautiful self on him.

[SarahB]

67. I think she is too.

She also gets reminded how he stayed with her even when she was fat and he didn't stray (allegedly). Nevermind, she gained weight having his children and worked to lose it as hard as she could each time to lose it and is now rather at quite an attractive, optimal level. Maybe he just knows he wrecked it with a decent women (for external factors and more inportantly, the internal ones) and probably realizes it will be hard to do that well in the future for himself.

If you have a good woman (or vice versa, a good man), don't take it for granted and not care about how they feel, because one day you might wake up to find, they've finally lost all their patience with it all and want out. My little theory anyway.

[blondeatlast]

59. I'm 12 years OLDER than my hubby, and he still thinks I'm

beyond adequate in the heat-inducing department!

The guy's immature more than anything else.

Like Olympia Dukakis' character said in "Moonlighting," men cheat because they are afraid of death. This guy's a baby afraid of death.

[Biased Liberal Media]

64. WTF??

Sexist and ageist (is that a word?) in my books. What an asshole.

[jukes]

66. this self-absorbed

undowtably republican POS will soon purchase the prostitute of his dreams & consider his life fulfilled.

were i female, i wd be oh-so-glad *not* to be a candidate for this creepyguy's puny affections.

[patcox2]

69. Sounds more look-ist or age-ist to me.

Is it sexist if the man's fears are true, that some younger women will not find an older man attractive? Are those younger women sexist? Or do they just, for whatever personal reasons, have personal preferences in the kind of guy they find attractive?

I am married to a woman older than me. I think the guy is obviously stupid, shallow and a jerk, but its really too much effort and a waste of energy to climb on the high horse of indignation over every garden variety jerk in the world.

[Darth_Kitten]

71. Cripes, what else should women do??

I don't see "too" many guys out there trying to dress well, taking care of their hair and skin, etc, the way that women do. That takes money, effort, etc. and all bums like this one want to do is complain?? Hell, it would help too if some of this guys bathed regularly, learned something about basic hygiene and grooming practices as well. Also, something about acting civilized and decent around women, but, hey, guess I'm just picky!!!! :mad: :eyes: :puke:

I bet he's Mr. Perfect, isn't he? :eyes:

[jdots]

76. he should waite till he's 55

then find a really young girl,he gets the senior discount and she gets the happy meal......not only is it sexist it's a fools game.

[Joe Chi Minh]

75. The whole thing

about the Christian take on marriage, based on a one-to-one commitment, is magical, and gets more so with the passage of time. As regards his nibs, what comes round goes round. He's set fair to die a sad figure, lonely, unloved and bitterly regretful.

[Brewman_Jax]

78. I've seen gorgeous 30's and 40's women

even 50's. And he wants to get rid of his wife just because she's 32? Early 30's is a fine age! I think that he's the one that requires professional help. I'll bet he looks every second of 42!

I've been accused of being too young in appearance, tho' I'm 41. A good female friend of mine (who has since found her soulmate) told me "if I knew how old you REALLY were, I'd have gone after you."

At least the young lady in question will soon be free to find a man of quality worthy of her.
:thumbsup: