What to do your last day on the Job??? After surviving 3 downsizes

[Out the Parasites]

my friend got notice that his last day would be this Friday. Feeling that this day would be coming when he too would be downsized, he's been looking for another job for about a year. As a result of the previous downsizing...he's been forced to take on the responsibility of positions the company downsized, as well as his own demanding job. He's been denied vacation time. Did not take sick time, even though he should have. Forced to work overtime. The company is being mismanaged and going down anyway...probably no love loss that he is now being downsized, but he really needs a job. He lives in Cinci...and needs some cheering up.

Does anyone have some funny ideas for what to do on your last day of work??????

Thanks

[Big Kahuna]

1. photo-copy your butt?

[Jo March]

4. A classic, to be sure

Can't overlook the classics.

[Out the Parasites]

6. LOL ok that's a good one - check

[Jo March]

2. Look for the 3-hole punch machines and

take the little paper "holes" out and put them in various places. In overhead bins, people's umbrellas, the desk drawers.

It's not vandalism, really. If he's asked about it, he can say that it was confetti for his going away.

[Shoeempress]

3. Have to be careful, may need a reference

[Kolesar]

5. Put some code in the financial software that will transfer $30,000 to you

eom

[Out the Parasites]

8. erm...good idea...at least he'd get a roof, 3 meals...and some lovin

in jail! Silly

[pagerbear]

7. They'll probably watch him like a hawk!

They'll make him finish everything before forcing him to take the "walk of shame" out the door accompanies by security. That's why most companies don't give advance notice like that. Heck, when I changed jobs a few years ago, some of my friends at other sites of my old companies were surprised I was allowed to work the full two-week notice I gave, rather than escorted out the door as soon as I gave notice!

[Out the Parasites]

11. True...but there is not that many people left :-)

He's been training a younger female to do the jobs he's been doing. He thinks she's making much less than him. Which is ok. But, she is frightened, realistically so, because it is an impossible job. She said she'd rather get let go than get fired for not being able to keep up.

[BJ]

9. Do absolutely nothing the entire day.

Read on company time, perhaps.

Listen to an mp3 player.

When boss yells at him reply, "What ya gonna do, fire me?"

Pick up his check and go home.

[pagerbear]

12. I do that already!

[Wickerman]

10. No good ideas

but he should avoid doing anything that someone else is gonna have to clean up - unless its management above him. Some poor slob is undoubtedly going to have to take on all *his* responsibilities in addition to *their* own. Its a sucky situation, I guess the best thing he can do is make sure he has a bunch of copies of his resume from the company copier.

Good luck to him.

[chenGOD]

13. Definitely show up late

read
listen to music
get drunk at lunch time, have a nap in the afternoon...
after he's cleaned his desk off, tinfoil the cubicle.

[nickgutierrez]

14. Call in sick?

And make sure to twist the knife a bit, too.

[fob]

15. Remove all the "W" keys, I hear that's standard protocol.

Write glowing letters of recommendation from the remaining letterhead!!

[methinks2]

16. sit on the copy machine

fax pictures of his butt to all the ceo's.

[Out the Parasites]

17. right...how would they be able to ID him??? "Ok everyone...pull your pant

s down! lol

[gpandas]

20. national buttprint data base. n/t

[StopTheMorans]

18. ask Milton from Office Space

:evilgrin:

[Lizz612]

19. Hide things

All over the place.
Put boxes of staples in the empty coffee pot.
Put pens in the bathrooms.
Over lunch buy toy dinosaurs and put them everywhere.
Put the coffee filters in the microwave.
Any artwork on the walls? Turn them upside down.
Print and post socialist propaganda.
Take the printer cartridges out of everything, put them in a bag and put the bag at the tippy top of the fire escape stairwell.
If he can, change the background all the computers he can get his hands on, to something silly.

Random, but not irreversable is the key.

[Lizz612]

22. More....

If you can find the breaker box, and they're aren't cameras around, put on some gloves and start figuring out what the switches do.
Draw things with piles of flour on the carpeting.
White board markers on the mirrors of the bathrooms.
Hell, white board markers on EVERYTHING!
Wear Rollerblades all day.
Wear a costume to work, its almost Halloween, break the costume in early.
Be Mr. Helium-voice all day.

[Endangered Specie]

21. Steal the photocopier...

and smash it to bits.

[Out the Parasites]

26. lol

[Endangered Specie]

23. Screw around with the elevator.

[bif]

24. Show up in a loincloth

And ask if this is what they meant by "business casual."

[Endangered Specie]

25. Play Fahrenheit 9/11 of the company computer

[dean_dem]

27. Gut a fish on your desk ala "Office Space". Then steal the copier.

[RoyalWickedness]

28. Change all the phone numbers

in the contact database (or rolodex if it's an old-fashioned place)to phone sex numbers.

[bukk]

29. bwaaaahahaha

[mitchum]

30. Bring a strong magnet to work

[Princess Turandot]

31. Way back in 1991..

on a job I had quit however, I went around early one morning changing the start-up sound on several partners computers to a snippet from an opera that was quite loud to begin with, and turned up the volume. I think I almost killed one of them. (The place had just started using desktop computers, with little training, and the office doors usually were not locked once I got into our work area.)

[TexasBushwhacker]

32. What a guy did at ARCO

It went through several rounds of lay offs a few years ago and there was one coming up where everyone knew about in advance. One guy showed up in a tux (tails and top hat). He said that if he had to leave he wanted to leave IN STYLE.