Cheney Vows to Attack US if Kerry Elected.

[denverbill]

GREENSBORO, NC—In an announcement that has alarmed voters across the nation, Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that he will personally attack the U.S. if Sen. John Kerry wins the next election.

"If the wrong man is elected in November, the nation will come under a devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and executed by none other than myself," Cheney said, speaking at a rally in Greensboro, NC. "When they go to the polls, Americans must weigh this fact and decide if our nation can ignore such a grave threat."

Added Cheney: "It would be a tragedy to suffer another attack on American soil, let alone one perpetrated by an enemy as well-organized and well-equipped as I am. My colleagues and I urge voters to keep their safety in mind when they go to the polls."
<snip>

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4041

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

1. Hahaha thats in my hometown ...

I knew I smelled something bad in the air ... /joke

[9119495]

2. Sonofabitch you beat me to it!

Did you see the map? Worth hitting the link and going to page two.

<http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4041>

I assume the lighting on the map means he can controll the weather.

[Bucky]

3. I remember when the Onion used to do satire...

... instead of eerily accurate predictions

[denverbill]

4. Yes, who can forget this dead-on prediction.

http://chak.org/pages/onion/bush_nightmare.html

[StlMo]

5. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ha!