Cheney Vows To Attack U.S. If Kerry Elected

[4morewars]

GREENSBORO, NC—In an announcement that has alarmed voters across the nation, Vice President Dick Cheney said Monday that he will personally attack the U.S. if Sen. John Kerry wins the next election.

"If the wrong man is elected in November, the nation will come under a devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and executed by none other than myself," Cheney said, speaking at a rally in Greensboro, NC

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4041

[Quadrajet]

1. This is by far, one of the...

...funniest things I've read in a long time. I love the onion.

[4morewars]

2. Me too....

Evil dick pretty much said this a few weeks ago, The Onion just made it a little clearer !

[many a good man]

3. Damned if we do, damned if we don't

<<<"Frankly, I'm terrified," said Dwayne Cummings, a 38-year-old metal-press operator from Cleveland, OH. "The idea of getting attacked by Cheney right now, at a time when I'm out of work, uninsured, and have kids to worry about, is overwhelming. I'm not sure I can vote for Kerry anymore."<<<

[baldguy]

4. I'd be surprised if the GOP wasn't thinking along these lines.

[4morewars]

5. Convince me that they're not !

Can you convince me that they are not a bunch of evil pricks? Can you convince yourself ?
:tinfoilhat:

[NYC Liberal]

6. Isn't it sad

that you have to wonder if the The Onion is really being satirical.

[da_chimperor]

7. LOL! Absolutely hilarious!

The onion is the best thing (next to DU of course) that I've found on the internet. Oh yeah, this is up there too: http://www.saintclinton.com/

[4morewars]

8. That's kinda scary

I'm not sure what to make of it.

[da_chimperor]

11. I think it's a nice retort to all the freepers claiming chimpy is Jesus

I really get a kick out of showing my friends and family the site.

[4morewars]

12. That's how I will take it

It was just a little scary, all that jeebus shit scares me !

[vireo]

9. The Bush campaign is a protectionist racket

"This is nice little country you got here. It would be a shame if anything happened to it!"

[Pegleg Thd]

10. Wouldn't it be ironic

if they were telling the exact truth about what fat-boy chaney said???:nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: