Complete this sentence: "When I watch professional wrestling....

[joeybee12]

My completion is..."I lose faith in the human race."

Hey, it ain't professional, and it ain't wrestling!

[amber dog democrat]

1. I am doing LSD

or getting paid to see it.

[Kolesar]

2. ...just f**king kill me

[flvegan]

3. I'm inspired to work harder in the gym

'Cept I'm not into steroids. Some of those guys are freaks. Though, I must admit, the ones I've met outside the ring are incredibly nice.

[bleedingheart]

4. I must have suffered a severe head trauma

cuz I would never watch it...

[JimmyJazz]

5. I have a sudden desire to hurl folding metal chairs?

[Kierkegaard]

6. I don't watch professional wrestling, but if I had to answer, I'd say;

"my brain turns to smoked Gouda and I get a sudden urge to vote for Gorge Brush."

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

7. it will be the next thing on when I die in my chair and I expired

before getting the chance to flip the channel.

[freetobegay]

8. I can't complete the sentence

I refuse to watch werstling.

[joeybee12]

10. Yeah, but some of the guys are cute...although most are really OVER-

Steroid-ed. I think that's a word.

[freetobegay]

12. I like the swimmers build myself.

:)

[joeybee12]

13. Then you ain't gonna find it in wrestling!

High school wrestling, maybe.

[freetobegay]

14. self delete

It's been a long day.

[kokomo]

22. Where are their "baskets"???? Even Shrub appears to be more hung

Is this "shrinkage" due to the steroids? Next to Bush, I find Vince McMahon the biggest whore. That he packs arenas every night, gets rubes to shell out $40 for his monthly "championships" on "Pay Per View" make me really worry about the future of this nation.

[joeybee12]

29. I've heard that steroids makes one's balls shrivel up!

So much for the beans, but don't know about the franks!

[Blue-Jay]

9. When I was a kid, I LOVED pro-wrestling!

I miss The Junkyard Dog (THUMP), Tommy "Wildfire" Rich, Abdullah the Butcher, Dick the Bruiser, Mr. Wrestling #2, The Assassin(s), The Freebirds, Bobo Brazil, Gordon Solie, The Wizard, King Kong (Bruiser) Brody, Bill Dundee, The Iron Sheik, The Mongolian Stomper, Classy Freddie Blassie, Tony Atlas, and a score of others...

Even when I was a kid I knew it was staged, but I ate that shit up.

[arwalden]

18. I still remember "Wahoo McDaniel" LOL

[Blue-Jay]

21. Crap. I forgot about the fake Indians!

Wahoo & Chief Jay Strongbow.

I'm not old enough to remember Don Eagle, but he used to walk the top rope.

Also before my time: Sky High Lee and Sky Low Low (midget wrestler)

[AngryAmish]

77. Wahoo McDaniel was a real Indian

And to this day holds the record for the longest punt at Oklahoma University. Look it up.

[belladonna]

92. Don't forget Jimmy Snuka

I'm not a fan of wrestling now, but I remember watching as a kid and being blown away by that guy

[Misunderestimator]

11. ... I change the channel

[woofless]

15. Hell will have long since frozen solid.

[renoray]

16. I feel disappointed"

Not because I hate the idea of wrestling, but because it COULD be good, but it never is. To me wrestling is just another art form, but the art is almost always done badly. Most movies, books, TV shows, comic books, magazines, paintings, or almost anything else is comprised mostly of crap, with a few bright spots. Wrestling just tends to have an even higher percentage or crap to bright spots. I used to be a fan as a youngster, and they could make wrestling good, but they just never do. They play to the lowest common denominator and always seem to go back to sexist and/or racist themes. Andy Kaufman did some funny things with wrestling. Mick Foley did some amazing things as a wrestler. I bet I'm not the only closet Mick Foley fan that posts on DU. Foley also has had a few good quotes stumping for Kerry on wrestling's GOTV campaign. There are talented people who have worked in wrestling and probably still many there, but they generally get buried by the dumbest roided up rednecks. There have been good stories and moments in wrestling, but they are so few and far between.

[ghostsofgiants]

40. I am also a closet Foley fan.

I used to love wrestling, but I just lost interest in it. I absolutely agree it could be worth watching if they didn't appeal to the lowest common denomenator.

Remember when the war in Iraq was just starting and Christopher Nowinski (who is a great wrestler) came out and gave a nice little anti-war rant? I started to regain my faith in wrestling, thinking maybe it's not all lowest common denominator horseshit. Then they made Nowinski a "bad guy" and had Scott Steiner beat the shit out of him weekly.

Foley is a Kerry supporter you say? Or am I just misunderstanding what you said? If so that makes TWO wrestlers I know of who aren't epublican jagoffs. (The other being Nowinski as mentioned...well I assume he is a leftist, due to the anti-war thing and the fact that he's an environmentalist.)

Are there any other Democrat or liberal wrestlers out there I wonder?

[Khephra]

48. Mick Foley has also done at least one Air America intro spot

EDIT: at least two. I just heard a second one, a haiku for Morning Sedition.

[Huckebein the Raven]

71. I'm a Mick Foley fan too

I have his auto-bio laying around the house somewhere and I read his second book too. I stopped watching wrestling for the same reasons you mentioned plus the fact the story lines became really really shitty after 9/11

[AngryAmish]

78. Bang Bang!

[arwalden]

17. ... I get turned on. It's so homoerotic I just have to take a cold shower.

[joeybee12]

23. Hmmm..steroids, speedos, fake tans and drag queens! Yup, it's pretty

damn gay!

Wonder what all those straight boys in the audience are really thinking!!??!!

[arwalden]

24. Thinking: "I Hope There's A Wardrobe Malfunction"

I know that's what *I* was thinking when I was 10 years old. Yes... TV wrestlers in their tight briefs made me gay.

(Where are the Kleenex?)

-- Allen

[joeybee12]

26. You know, I have actually SEEN wardrobe malfunctions while watching!

Heh-heh--got ya!

It was with the women, and you know damn well they were planned and not accidental!

[kokomo]

25. They love to make gay and racial slurs, and talk about misogynists!

McMahon also enflames, plays to right-wing jingoism. Often has military in uniforms as guests lined up around the ring. Used to have Indians, Russians, Arabs, as the "bad guys" but lately it has been a couple of "French" wrestlers who carry the tri-color flag and get roundly booed and hissed by the GOOD red-blooded 'muricans in the crowd.

[ldf]

27. homoerotic, yeah my thoughts, exactly...

i mean, they get to grab each other, shove their faces in each other's crotch, slide all over each other's sweaty bodies.

i mean, how can it NOT be homoerotic.

and all those "straight" dudes screaming for more.

bwhahahahahahahahahah!!!

[kokomo]

36. How about the fat Samoan with a thong who likes to sit on faces.

Rikishi Phatu (Fat too?) the 400 lb Samoan who wears a sumo thong and loves to smother his opponents with his bare butt blubber by sitting on their faces, forcing them eat salad whether they want to or not.

[ldf]

65. if that's what turns you on, go for it

:P

[Blue-Jay]

28. You get turned on when the wind blows.

or when someone posts your star chart! <spooky music>

[arwalden]

31. You Know Me Too Well

that's scary!

[LDS Jock]

32. Me too!!

Just watching someone like Randy Orton or from a few years back Dean Malenko and Alex Wright gets me all excited. Beautiful men, beautiful bodies, very little clothing and wrapping arms and legs around each other. Is it getting hot in here?

[arwalden]

33. "Is It Gettin' Hot In Here?" -- Blanche Devereaux

[LDS Jock]

35. you like wrestling, quoting the Golden Girls.. will you marry me?

or at least, lets wrestle :P

[arwalden]

45. Well...

I'm already married, sorry. So I guess we'll just have to sneak around and go to cheap no-tel motels when the husband is away on business (or nooners during the week.)

How's that for a compromise?

-- Allen

[LDS Jock]

58. That sounds good... deal!

All the fun stuff without the relationship hassles. Call me to schedule our first rendezvous... 1-800-MAN-WHORE

[terrya]

85. Of COURSE it's homoerotic.

When you see two hot, muscly guys near naked, except for wrestling briefs (one guy preferably The Rock), drenched with sweat...in a ring...grappling with each other...this is the stuff of masturbatory fantasies. :-)

[joeybee12]

86. You know, I never saw the appeal of The Rock--maybe because his

"pose" is just too irritating to me.

[terrya]

87. Yeah, the pose...but what a body...

The Rock is a hot looking man. I've had some nice fantasies about him....:-)

[mac56]

19. ...it's 1967, and I'm eleven years old.

nm

[VOX]

20. "...I must be too stoned to be able to press the remote."

It's the only good reason I can think of.

[Spider Jerusalem]

30. "...fire shall rain from the skies and the dead shall walk the streets."

In other words, it's not going to happen.

[richmwill]

34. ...I'm hoping it's changed it's ways

Sadly, Vince McMahon has changed wrestling from what I used to love about it into a complete joke and a farce. I used to love the athleticism- these guys ARE athletes, in my opinion- to do those moves, to fly, to fall the way they do. The average guy would break his neck if he even tried to do those moves. However Vince has changed wrestling from that to a "soap opera" with boring characters.

[Nightowl_2004]

37. "....I've never watched pro-wrestling!"

[proud2BlibKansan]

38. I want to :puke:

[BigMcLargehuge]

39. ... Jesus kills a kitten."

[Baja Margie]

41. I don't understand what they're doing

and I become very uncomfortable.

[Taverner]

42. I feel like....siiiiiiiiiiiiiingingggggggggg

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

43. "....I want to peel off all my toenails slowly then pour hydrochloric acid

on the nail beds."

[FredScuttle]

44. "...I will know then that the terrorists have truly won"

n/t

[JSJ]

46. when i view pro wrestling (by mistake, of course), i would like to...

...see them use real tire irons on each other and not be faking it.

[Skittles]

47. I have learned to let it go

the fans know it's not real but they find it entertaining. I don't understand it either but they're not harming anyone. I don't understand a lot of things - like NASCAR or fishing.

[Skeet]

49. When I watch professional wrestling...

I'm cheering on Chris Benoit. Make that when I WATCHED pro wrestling. With class going til 9:40 on Monday nights I don't really get a chance to watch anymore.

[joeybee12]

50. Sounds like you're one of the few fans here!

[ucmike]

51. i think to myself, i could wrestle those guys....

if it wasn't for this diarrhea.

don't tell anyone, but i have attended 5-6 WWF events when my younger brothers were kids. They loved it and I had a drivers license, so i chaperoned. The shows are really high-energy and there's lots of stuff going on. when you're up close the athleticism is amazing and the fact that they walk away night after night is incredible. Most of the wrestlers are pretty nice and spend time signing stuff and taking pics with fans before/after the events.


the dark side is the crowd. there are kids there, but the most vocal crowd is the middle aged men who seem to believe the action. its disturbing to see a 40something man with the fake wwf championship belt, the t-shirts, the headdress, the color coordinated pants to match his favorite wrestler, and the homemade signs. some of these guys actually seem to be responsible and productive-not the trailer trash you'd expect. I understand a kid bringing his paraphernalia to the show, but a grown man? many of these guys are alone (surprised?)

my $.02

[joeybee12]

52. Pretty scary! I just wish they didn't bring out all these sleazy women

to wrestle, and sometimes have the men wrestle them and knock them out. You know it's not real, but it's still not right. If they just kept to the costumes and personas, it'd be ok for kids--sort of like comic books. I guess it used to be, but now it's gotten out of hand.

[Zuni]

53. I ram hot coathangers into my anus

Seriously, pro-wrestling has gone straight into the gutter since I was a kid.

[joeybee12]

54. Gee, is this something you're prone to do often?

I'm waiting for professional wrestling to start making your particular move mandatory!

[Zuni]

55. Usually only on Holidays

[joeybee12]

57. Didn't I see a post saying that today is the beginning of Ramadan????

[Tafiti]

56. ...I realize it's the personification of just how dumb and mindless...

...American can be. Worst. TV. Programming. Ever.

[kokomo]

59. I marvel at how quickly these guys can heal in one day..........

After getting their heads bashed in, blood (thanks to Teresa Heinz!) all over the mat, they come back the next night with their beautiful oiled skin.

[AngryAmish]

79. The blood is real

Just small cuts from places very likely to bleed (the forehead/scalp).

[One_Life_To_Give]

60. ...it's hard to keep my intestines from stangling me. n/t

[MrSlayer]

61. I can literally feel my intelligence being sucked away.

Possibly the dumbest entertainment in the country. Real gladiator games would be cool though.

[joeybee12]

62. Kickin' this to see if anyone else has some urbane, witty comments!

[deadparrot]

63. Pigs'll be flying.

[JohnKleeb]

64. Hell will freeze over

I can't stand that shit now boxing I enjoy.

[Lefty48197]

66. I'm usually rooting for Bobo Brazil, or Firpo

Unless Haystacks Calhoun is rasslin'. Haystacks is best!

[joeybee12]

67. Are these people still around? Or are you channeling wrestlers from

your mispent youth????

[helnwhls]

68. i thinks of all those hot sweaty mens

all shaved up and slammin into each other with all their strength and muscles, ooh my

[joeybee12]

72. Hey--I never realized that they must shave their bodies!

It never dawned on me before!

[helnwhls]

73. and oil up, too

[joeybee12]

76. And spend their spare time under sun lamps!

[helnwhls]

83. Yeah,

but it's worth it. I am so glad there is a place for all the spandex dependent to call their own.

I used to watch them while I was doing laundry. It does not matter if you miss a bit while switching loads or hanging shirts. I caught wwe thrown down or whatever. It had all the same rasslers i remembered from a few years back doing the same silly things.


Are you a secret fan trying to assuage your guilt for staring at all those men in tights? Ya know if ya squint just right, it kinda looks like they're...

[joeybee12]

84. Not really a fan--started this post Thursday evening switching channels

and caught Smackdown. I tell you, TV is such a wasteland that I kept it on with the sound muted just to see who was cute!

[helnwhls]

90. that is the only way to watch!

[joeybee12]

91. Yeah, can you imagine 30 years ago before remote controls?

You had to stand up, walk over, and then turn the sound down!

It was like the Dark Ages!

[neebob]

69. I am hoping to see Kevin "Big Sexy" Nash and realizing

that my taste in men is truly terrible.

[IrishBloodEngHeart]

70. I think there are a lot of repressed gay men in the audience

[BluePatriot]

74. ...I imagine the wrestlers in tutus!

:)

[NuttyFluffers]

75. i reaffirm that america, despite denial, loves homoerotica and soap drama!

do i really have to explain it any more?

[AngryAmish]

80. Am I the only fan of the late lamented ECW?

Changed wrestling forever (mostly by stealing from Japan, but still was a lot more interesting than the cartoon wrestling).

God I miss the Sandman.

[joeybee12]

81. Must be--doesn't sound familiar to me!

[joeybee12]

82. Ah, hell, I'm kicking this sucker--I don't have anything else better to do

[Ivan Sputnik]

88. I think to myself,

"These are soap operas for men."

[terrya]

89. Those idiotic storylines and "feuds"...

God, the WORST aspect to professional wrestling. :-)