Give me prank ideas for the camping trip...

[YellowRubberDuckie]

My friend Jessica dragged me to a Mary Kay party! I want to die. This woman was a complete nightmare. She used to be a kindergarten teacher, and talks down to everyone as if they are 5. And she had on these GIGANTIC earrings that hung down to her shoulders covered with rhinestones. And then there three fly pins on her shoulder full of shiny rhinestones, and on and on...What the hell did Jessica get me into!? We're going to camping this weekend. Please give me ideas how to scare the bejeezus out of her this weekend while we're at the lake, please? You guys are so creative! Help me out, Please?
Duckie

[Kire]

1. when she sits on the outhouse seat

get underneath and tickle her with a feather

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Naw...she might enjoy that. lol

Ooops...no sex threads.
Duckie

[loveable liberal]

2. bears are scary n/t

[da_chimperor]

3. Does she have any fears or phobias you know of? Snakes? Spiders? n/t

[HEyHEY]

5. Lure a bear into her tent!

[JVS]

6. Kick the shit out of her when she's in her sleeping bag.

That'll learn her.

[HEyHEY]

7. Get all the other campers to pull a "full metal jacket" on her

[JVS]

8. Sweet!

[EstimatedProphet]

9. Rubber snake

in her gear.
Also, after she goes to sleep, creating a small mudpit directly in front of her tent has some promise too. Something tells me from your description that
she couldn't cope with the idea of getting dirty, and camping cna get pretty dirty...

[Eye and Monkey]

10. Keep saying "OMG - did you SEE that?"

When she asks what was it, say "no, it must've been nothing, just the wind blowing the trr limbs. Really, I'm sure it, it was nothing." - but keep looking at the same spot and doing it again, an hour or so later.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

11. Oh, and I forgot to mention she's a Republican.

:hi:
Duckie

[HEyHEY]

12. In that case -- throw her in the fire!

[MazeRat7]

13. Well there are several possibilities... how brave are you ?

1) Put a neat pile of sticks outside the tent then say WTF in the morning when you wake up. (This only works if you plan to spend at least 2 nights)

2) Get a branch with small soft leaves on it and just after going to bed in the tent slide it across her arm or cheek. It helps to say before hand, "did you hear that ?"

3) Take 5 rocks (one big and the other 4 small but about the same size) and arrange them in your hand to "resemble" a bear foot print. Make impressions all around an area of the site then "discover" them just before the sun goes down. You should look up what a bear print looks like if you are not sure and hopefully she doesn't know either and will take your word for it. Also, it helps to tell some "bear" stories around the camp fire "after" finding the foot prints. Then while you are getting all comfy in your bags... say "did you hear that ? do you think its a bear ? damn I should not have brought this food into the tent".

4) Make up a "fictitious" critter to tell her about it around the camp fire. This is a bit tricky because it requires you to know what causes her to do what I call the "bug dance" and you have to create a convincing name. I have used the "Stick Lizard" for years... but that is a Texas thing I wont try to explain now. Anyway, tell her you read about these things on the net and warn her to be careful when she has to go pee. PS while she is behind a tree lob a few rocks in her general vicinity being careful not to actually hit her.

5) finally... and I warn you about this one. If you are the type to take a pistol with you (just in case) wait until she is asleep then fire 1 and only 1 round from inside the tent. I promise you she will wake up with the most terrified look on her face...
Of course you wont get laid for several weeks... but it is really funny.

Ok, there are more...but I think you should have some material to work with....
Oh and BTW... don't let her in on any of the gags (unless of course you choose option #5 - then you are on your own). Believe me, she will tell somebody, someday in your presence... thats when it gets to be really funny.

*evil grin.

MZr7

[Tsiyu]

14. Ooh, MazeRat, you are GooooooooD!

I would think twice before camping with you!

Of course, there are the standard "wait til she's asleep and...." hide her underwear, paint her face with lipstick, move her stuff.

And you can excuse yourself to go in the woods once its dark to do your biddness ( take all the flashlights) then sneak close by the tent and pitch pebbles at the tent. Listen as she freaks out and calls your name.
Too fun....

[MazeRat7]

16. *LOL... I have had plenty of practice believe me... *grin.

Yes...almost all the good stuff happens "after dark" doesn't it...

MZr7

[Eye and Monkey]

21. going to the lake right? the "ficticious critter", it lives in the lake.

When you get to the site, identify a sound, any watery sound. Hear that? that ficticious critter, that's pretty much what it sounds like. Only, squishier.

Foot-prints, coming outa the water. With the rocks.

[skygazer]

26. I love number four!

We used to use "muzzlers" when I was a kid. They were flesh eating bugs that were sort of like land pirhanas. Had one little girl so freaked out, she's probably still in therapy.

Thanks for the memory!

[Sabriel]

15. Here's what we did

The person had a separate tent. When he woke up, we were all gone out of our tents, but everything was trashed, and there was fake blood all over the place. We hid out nearby in the woods and enjoyed his escalating freaking out as he checked out the campsite.

[Robb]

17. We did that one...

Takes a willing group, indeed, but well worth it.

Safety tip: don't use real blood. :evilgrin:

[HEyHEY]

18. When I was in Highschool

There was this place called "Twin Islands" all Vancouverites should know it. ..... what they didn't know is all the kids from Pomo used to borrow their parent's boats and head up there for HUGE weekend parties, it's in an area so remote there is no way police can get there.

Anyway, there's huge cliffs there and one guy woke up with his feet dangling over a cliff one morning.

[DS1]

19. If you know where you're going, hide a chainsaw a little ways away

and run it at night, with occasional long sessions of screaming

[jdj]

20. Since she's a republican, tell her there are reports

that candiru fish are in the area, epecially if you are camping near a lake or river. Tell her they have been found in the campsite toilets.

"When candirus parasitize humans, it is usually only when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on both the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood. This is all said to be very painful for the poor person who has this happen to him or her. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to remove due to the spines. Amputation of the private areas is the cheapest, and most life-changing, way to remove the fish. Actual surgery is extremely expensive and involves inserting the Xagua plant and the Buitach apple up the urethra. These two plants kill and even dissolve the parasitic fish. If surgery is not done in time, the blockage of the urinary tract will prove fatal. The candiru is the only known vertebrate to parasitize humans."

edit: adding this so not to freak anyone out:

The candiru is found only in the Amazon and Oranoco Rivers of South America.

http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/animals1/catfish/candiru.html

[Baja Margie]

22. Did someone say this already....

buy fake plastic spider or better yet, scorpion, and put in her coffee cup in the morning. Better yet, have creature in cup & serve coffee to her. I don't know, that's preety bad.

[politicat]

23. As much as I hate to perpetuate these...

You're in OK, so check this site:
http://www.prairieghosts.com/hauntok.html

Make sure that your entire group - save Miss Jessica - is in on this. Having half a dozen hysterical, creeped out people on a camping trip sucks major ass.

I'd adapt some of the prairieghosts stories to where you're going (the Dead Woman's Crossing would work well).

Suggestibility is your best friend here. Let her mind do the work.

Pcat

[YellowRubberDuckie]

24. Kick for the morning crowd..

:kick:

[Surf Cowboy]

25. Shaving cream in sleeping bag...

Hotfoot...

[Blue-Jay]

27. Hire a hobo to chase her with a knife.

OK, that might be a bit much.

[Arkana]

28. Fake vomit

[bif]

29. How about his...

Make strange patterns with pebbles outside your tent. It'll make it seem like someone's stalking you. Or scratch messages with a stick in the dirt outside your tent.