Ideas to get me fired tomorrow?

[HEyHEY]

Company pres is coming for a visit - now I am this close to getting that other job. So if I get fired, I'll get severence on top of my last pay cheque and vacation pay. But I don't want to get fired on the spot..... I need some thing that will make him think for a few days so that if I don't get the other job I can call and apologize.


See why they used to call me kastanza?

[JVS]

1. Print naked ladies in the newspaper

[HEyHEY]

2. Naked Highschool girls!

SHit, that'll get me arrested

[JVS]

4. Shit, you just gave me the idea for the solution: Dead Baby Jokes!

Tell them at work incessantly tomorrow, or write them in a column. With any luck you'll get fired, but then after a few days things will cool down and you can issue an apology for your poor taste if you need the job back.

[HEyHEY]

8. And if I do get the job I can call and ensure my dismissal

By saying "So what was your favourite dead baby joke? I've got some really good ones about your wife too!"

[Maddy McCall]

3. Start preaching the gospel when he arrives.

Then if the other job doesn't work out, you can explain that you had been carried away by "the spirit," and it won't happen again.

[HEyHEY]

5. End all sentences with "According to the prophecy"

good idear

[Maddy McCall]

6. Yes, and begin all sentences with...

So sayeth the lord.

[JVS]

9. No "according to the prophesy" is a beginning, "So sayeth the Lord"...

is a sentence closer

[Maddy McCall]

11. Excellent!

[GingerSnaps]

7. Do you know a girl that might go along with this one

Are you shy?

Take your pecker out and have some kleenex in your other hand and when your boss comes in put it back in your pants and at the same time have your friend leave your office and as she is walking out make sure that she is adjusting her clothes and make sure that the both of you are disheveled and your hair is messed up. I think that would do it.

:evilgrin:

[HEyHEY]

12. Hmmm All I need is girl that would go along with it

[GingerSnaps]

15. One more thing

You can pretend that she just left and lay out some underwear like she forgot to put them back on. :spank:

[theorist]

10. Dress very bummy and be eating the messiest Chinese dish you can find.

Then suggest that you want to write an expose on the use of "meat" in local chinese restaurants and how his wife would be perfect for "going undercover, if you know what I mean." (Nudging and winking appropriately.)

You can always claim you were running a high fever that day and feeling quite delirious.

[HEyHEY]

13. Make sure I smell like booze too!

[Zang]

14. easy

just put Kerry signs all over your car and office

[HEyHEY]

16. I'm in Canada

I'd never get canned for that. And if I did Labour relations would jump on them like a fat kid on a smarty

[sundog]

17. eat some hard boiled eggs & cut a nasty fart