I think I'm destined to be alone.

[TheMightyFavog]

After much intropcetion, self-analysis, and thought, I've come to that conclusion tonight. It's a culmination of my appearance, my personality, and my problems. I belive that I am incapable of being romantically loved.

You know what? I've acepted it, and I'm OK with it.

[DemBones DemBones]

1. Now that you've accepted it,

don't be surprised if you meet somebody. No kidding. It can work that way.

But either way, you're fine, right?

[TheMightyFavog]

2. Yeah.

When I tell my counselor next week, she may freak.

She'll probably ask the doctor she referrd me to to consider a higher SSRI dosage.

[aquart]

3. Lots of us are destined to be alone.

I got hypnotized and regressed to previous lives and the point before being born into this one....and I saw an argument. Some council was trying to talk me out of being born. "But you'll be alone," they said.

My horoscope says it. My freaking PALM says it.

Well, I can't say I wasn't warned.

But you know what? I can still make sure that people smile when they see me.

[RivetJoint]

11. Serious?

Or making fun?

[loveable liberal]

4. dont worry so much. relationships are work

They are about tolerance and love. The wife and I working on 9 years now, some of its great, other parts of it arent. Dont believe in the fairy tale movie crap. If that were the case bennifer would still be together. The rich and pretty cant stay together to save their lives. The fact is, they break up because they dont want to put in the effort. Everyone has faults, I do, just ask the wife, but there's a lot more to the story...

[shraby]

5. I've been married 43 years to the same person.

One tip...don't the both of you ever want a divorce at the same time, and the one who does, listen to the one who doesn't.
Unless it involves spouse abuse, then run for the nearest exit.

[huellewig]

6. I have found..

That giving up on looking for the ladies has yielded the best results. I think when they realize you don't care about the panties and just want a conversation they are more receptive. Once the sexual tension has been blasted away you can focus on the real issues. Like, "Can you install FireFox for me." and "what is the best Linux distro?" Hey honey, that would be Gentoo. Now join me in the shower for a back-rub while your OS compiles.

[izzie]

7. I made up mind years ago and love it. I like being alone.

It is only for a few I think.

[wickerwoman]

8. Hey that's great,

get some ice cream and start planning that trip to Italy with all your disposable time and income.

When you think about how much time, energy and money is spent by the average person trying to convince another person to come live in the same house with them so they can get on each other's nerves, it's really remarkable that so many people buy into it.

Brainwashing? :shrug:

[mac56]

17. "When you think about....

how much time, energy and money is spent by the average person trying to convince another person to come live in the same house with them so they can get on each other's nerves, it's really remarkable that so many people buy into it."

That, my friend, is the quote of the week. Sooooo true.

[TheMightyFavog]

9. Here's to being eternally single!

:toast:

[Skittles]

10. you're in college right?

for God's sake Jonanthan stop being a ninny or I will kick your ass. You are not giving yourself a chance - you're young and you haven't found your niche yet. If you are seriously giving up so soon I want you to REALY tell your counselor what is going on. I've read your posts - you're an articulate, intelligent young man with lots to offer. You've got to find out what is causing such a negative self-image. DO IT!

[TheMightyFavog]

12. I guess I've always been shy around women.

I guess I'm just really afraid of offending them.

[RivetJoint]

13. Then find a shy woman

to woo. It's not that hard...

[Skittles]

18. well, it means you are not a creep

you're a decent fellow. What will happen is you will either pair with a shy girl, or an agressive gal will get you out of your shell. Do not give up!!!

[the Princess]

20. Wait - he's in college?

OK now - you are so young you cannot make a decision like that at your age. I thought I would be alone forever - and I met the Mr. when I was 31. We got married when I was 32. And these past years with him have been the happiets of my life. I can't really remember what life was like without him. You will more than likely find someone - give it time. :)

[SarahB]

14. I come to that conclusion all the time.

Then the other part of me says, "Shut up, Sarah, listen to your feelings for once in your life and stop being so afraid."
I have a lot that needs to be done (like get started on the paperwork from the one that's been dying for 7 of the last 14 years) and some things I want to achieve before I become "serious" regarding any relationship (don't need anyone else's needs or wishes to sidetrack me this time), but I've lived on emotional auto-pilot long enough that to imagine my life completely devoid of any feeling for much longer makes me kind of sad. I wasted enough pivotal years living like that. I know I can love and be loved, but I know at the same time there's still my own inner work to be done before I could allow myself to fully trust another human again.

[TheMightyFavog]

15. Yeah fear's the key...

I have this really stupid and powerful fear of rejection. This is something I should talk to my counselor about.

[SarahB]

16. It's worse for some of us.

I'm such a perfectionist personally-- very self critical even though I don't have a problem getting noticed. I tend to think I have to be perfect (inside, outside, you name it) or I'll be rejected. Other people don't get it. "But Sarah, you're so this or that (insert compliment)." Rationally, I know it's not the case, but certain life experiences gave me this frame of mind. I think for all of us, there's someone (or generally more than one someone) who will complement who we are and like us as we are. It's painful though sometimes-- that process of figuring it all out.

[johnnie]

19. I had a thread on this the other day

I just turned 40 out of nowhere, and I am still single. I thought about it for a few minutes and posted here, but it was just another passing thought.
I wouldn't settle for being single if I were you. Just get up in the morning, do what you do and live your life. Enjoy what you have now and be what you are, because in a blink of an eye it can be gone.
I don't know how old you are, but for some reason I tend to believe you are in your 20s. If that's the case, don't fret it because you can be one of those people who forced a relationship and are miserable and trapped.
Once in a while I think it would be cool to have a companion to do something with. Maybe sit and yap with, go to a movie, out to dinner or just hang out, but I have developed so many things and interests in my life that I can be perpetually busy.
I can write my music, record it, run my music studio, work on my audio and video stuff, read books, write poetry, do my other "art", play in bands, work on computers, study my interests of history, science, philosophy and a few other subjects... I can go on.
The pressures for all of us to have some sort of "relationship" are overwhelming sometimes, and I am in the opinion that they are just so unrealistic. I wish more energy was put into learning to love ourselves and who we are than thinking that having that "soul mate" will solve all of our problems. If you aren't happy with who and what you are then no one on earth is going to make you truly happy.
Concentrate on digging your own life and what you have become and are becoming and the rest is easy.
Sorry for the rambling, these are just a few thoughts. Good luck and have fun... tomorrow might be a different day.

[TheMightyFavog]

22. Yeah, you're right.

I just gotta give it time. I hate to use a cliche here, but Rome wasn't built in a day.

[tjdee]

21. I'm not OK with it!

And you're younger than me!

Oh great, now I need to have a drink. Because that's the healthy way to deal! :)

[EstimatedProphet]

23. Here's something to pay attention to:

start critically looking at the women you are trying to pick for partners. do they have anything in common?
I say this because your ststements speak volumes about how you feel about yourself and your relation to others. I used to hear myself say the same things. Then I started looking at the kind of women I was attracted to, and realized that in just about every case, it was the woman who was very needy for attention and would try to solicit attention by aggressively flirting and coming on to me. When I realized that my attraction to them was really a response to them playing me, I was able to critically look at that behavior when it occurred again.
The Prophetess is nothing like that. She's got her won set of issues, as do we all, but thank God they aren't attention-starving neediness! I know too that I never would have had any luck hitting it off with her if I kept the same mindset.

[skygazer]

24. I had finally reached that point when I was 40 years old

Two weeks later (I kid you not), the perfect man walked into my life. Four years later, he's still there.

Sometimes, you need to find that place where you're content with your life before someone can truly enter into it.

Either way, hope you're okay. :hug:

[charliebrown]

25. I too appear to be destined to be always alone :(

Everytime I try to hook up with Lucy she pulls my ball(s). Snoopy wants only to be fed. I get a rock on Halloween and my creator is now uncreated.

But I will live on even if I am alone!!!

[Taverner]

26. Trust me, you're better off

[Nikia]

27. I believed that, on bad days I still believe that

I am married too. Sometimes, I think that it was a mistake that my husband came to love me and that he shouldn't because I am just dragging him down. I feel that way about my platonic friends too, that they shouldn't care for me. Why don't you think that you deserve to be loved. Who are you to think that you have to be perfect to be loveable? Don't you think that other people feel that way too?
You say that you have trouble interacting around women. I never had problems interacting around men. I assumed that they were just people like women and treated them as such. I missed a lot of romantic signals this way, but I met someone who really liked me for me. You could also. If you tend to say misogynist or sexual or gross things a lot, you might want to tone that down. Otherwise, there is no reason that you should act any different around women.