Welcome to the Factor-for-DU-Kids! Ask me anything!

[FunBobbyMucha]

I'm your humble servant, Uncle Bill. I want to encourage pithy questions from the youth here, which I will answer in my inimitable No-Spin way.

What say you?

[nycmjkfan]

1. What's the price

of falafels these days?

[FunBobbyMucha]

4. Falafels are the least of your problems, punk.

You're a BAD GUY. Cut nycmjkfan's mike!

[sui generis]

2. define youth

[FunBobbyMucha]

5. Hey, look, I'm not judge and jury here.

Unlike YOU, Mr. Sui. Maybe you've got a problem with the youth of this fine country of ours, O'Reilly doesn't. But I do have a problem with you, sir.

[sui generis]

6. I'm moving my lips but someone cut off my microphone /nt

[FunBobbyMucha]

8. Don't come on the Kid Factor with a false agenda, Mr. Sui.

Look, viewers, I gave this guy a try. But when you come on the Factor to discuss laps and then you start talking microphones, that puts you in the crosshairs.

[Zuni]

3. I wish to opine, Uncle Billy

Can I sit in your lap? Are we gonna play doctor again?

[FunBobbyMucha]

7. Look, we celebrities are targets.

Do I think Michael Jackson is guilty? Don't know! But I do know that the loony lefties out there, LIKE YOU, Zuni, they won't be happy until the public schools are like a bathhouse. As a catholic, I have a fundamental issue with that. It's bad science.

(Doctor's costume is at cleaners. time for priest/altar boy)

[Zuni]

12. It has always been my goal

to make sure homosexual recruitment numbers are up, and that public schools become opium dens of sin.

[blondeatlast]

9. How is "falafel" related to sex?

I find this deeply disturbing, as I LOVE falafel, but it gives me the creeps now...

[No2W2004]

10. ok Unka Bill,

On the playground, there's this kid who moved here from Arkansas and is looked on as "perfect". He can talk smooth, and make all the other kids think he's a good kid. But mean time, he's taking any girl he can grab on to behind the jungle gym for some "doctor luvin'" whatever that means. He's also a "liveral" or something like that and plays a saxaphone in band.

Me? I'm just a normal, red blooded American compasionate patriot who's daddy used to be head of the ABC, or CAI or something like that.

How can I get the rest of the kids to see what a great guy I am, and that other kid from Arkansas is a traitor yucky pee pee head?

[FunBobbyMucha]

11. Listen, Timmy, this kid from Arkansas is a coward.

He has refused our offer time and time again to appear here on the KidFactor and state his case for "coolness." He's running scared. If he doesn't have anything to hide, why not buck up, come on here and meet me face-to-face?

As for his way with the girls, you gotta give them time to wise up. Believe me, this kind of BS won't play when they're grown women.

Look, it's a fact that the saxophone is the more feminine of the reed instruments. I myself played clarinet. What does that say about Mr. Arkansas? I leave that to you, good viewer.

Look, you're not gonna see O'Reilly come out and call this punk a pee pee head. But he is a BAD GUY.

For your thoughtful question, Timmy, we're gonna send you an autographed copy of the Irish Tickler for Children, one of the most popular toys in the Factor Store. Take your time, figure out for yourself how it is looking out for you. God speed.

[Skittles]

13. wanna take a Caribbean shower with me, Uncle Bill?

:D

[FunBobbyMucha]

14. Good question, Skittles. You're making me hungry for a rainbow-flavored

treat.

I'm gonna send you an autographed copy of "Those Who Trespass For Kids." Stay on the line.

[Arkana]

15. Hi Mr. O'Reilly!

My mommy got me a loofah sponge for you!

[FunBobbyMucha]

18. Oddly enough, I have something similar.

It's a massaging device. Works out the muscle tension. It's from a company called Peabody.

[Blue-Jay]

16. When can we expect a Factor Gear dildo?

cock-shaped, of course.

[peekaloo]

17. Just how big is your

ego?