We've had limericks, it's O'Reilly haiku time

[Johnny 99]

I posted this in the limerick thread for the hell of it, but I'll start things out:

I want to wash you
You are so very dirty
Give me a loofah

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. OK

Sit on my face please
I'm a republican shill
make me your toilet

[NewHampshireDem]

2. I'll play ...

My hand rests on your
Falafel in the moonlight
Oh my little Faux

[soupkitchen]

3. A fox smells its own

A Fox smells it own
hole holy shit but a Faux
not its own A hole

[Jade Fox]

4. I missed the limerick thread....

so here goes:

There once was a man named O'Reilly
who put to use loofahs most slyly
he got on the phone
to a woman alone
and lost those who thought of him highly.

[samplegirl]

29. ROFL

Jade Fox.........u got me rolling

[Bluebear]

5. OK

'Fair and balanced news?'
How can you trust these Fox guys
when they are perverts?

[norml]

6. How Titillating. The dildo of desire. In his no spin zone.

(:

[Misunderestimator]

7. (Edited title) Was a 7 / 7 / 5

Silly me... now it's 5 / 7 / 5

Piggish man am I
Your lack of desire puzzles
Give me your dildo

[norml]

10. Oh to hear the tape! Risque ramblings abound! Dildo Reilly joy!

I believe it's 5 / 7 / 5

[Misunderestimator]

11. You are so right... it is 5 / 7 / 5 traditionally

Though pretty much anything goes, like your 5 / 6 / 5 one. :D

[ismnotwasm]

8. hmm, bad at haikus, let's see

The phone is ringing
Answering to hear breathing
It's oozing wetness

[kanrok]

9. Here's mine:

Here, touch my dildo
No, now touch my falafel
Oh, it feels so good!

[hyphenate]

12. I haven't done this in years

A man tonight
He wants release
But she says no--he goes on alone.


How arrogant--he
Teases her, moaning loud
She ends his call fast.


How could she not care?
He asks, fondling his own
In the dark silent room.


They're not too funny--sorry, but I'll think of more.

[UrbScotty]

13. SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP.

JUST SHUT THE F****** HELL UP!
SHUT SHUT SHUT SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Misunderestimator]

14. BRAVO!!!

:thumbsup:

Now THAT was perfect.

[blondeatlast]

26. DING. Perfect. nt

[Johnny 99]

15. I must kick this thread

To see more brilliant haiku
And for my ego

[KittyWampus]

16. ok

Oh, Partisan Hack
Lame porn over the phone
Will bring you lawsuit

[Misunderestimator]

17. Another

My shriveled wee thing
In Winter grows much smaller
When I see dildos

[FizzFuzz]

18. Never tried Haiku, but here goes ....

Janet Jackson's breast
Public outrage airwave police
Dil dO'Reilly? yawn

[cheezus]

19. bill

america loves
from a childrens' book author
steamy sex scandal

[CO Liberal]

20. I'll Give it a Try

In The No-Spin Zone,
No one hears the vibrator -
Bill needs to clean up.

[the Princess]

21. My Turn!

Yuck - Bill O'Reilly
Took my falafel away -
I don't want it back.

* * * * *

Poor, poor falafel
Bill O'Reilly took him home
I will miss that dog...

[the Princess]

22. More...

Poor Bill O'Reilly
His penis must be tiny
Must .... use ... falafel .....

[AbbeyRoad]

23. Alright I can't resist. Here's a few.

Ludacis is crude
Bill Clinton is a pervert
Where's my vibrator?

and

Ejaculation
Thinking of dead Al Franken
Oh, baby. He'll pay

and

O'Reilly's factor
Vibrators and falafel
The jerk-off jerks off

[KittyWampus]

24. Your 3rd one made me laugh

:D

[KittyWampus]

25. O'

O'Reilly's porn-Zone
Where dirty man talks too much
I pull your mike now

[blondeatlast]

27. 5/7/5, right?

Falafel no more
Faux Fox now spins angrily
No, never to Maher

I fudged the last line (arguably 6)--sorry.

[Maddy McCall]

28. Here's my first attempt at a haiku

You reported the news
We decided...you're sucky
And you're a pervert

[samplegirl]

30. I'll keep this pithy

says O'Rilley's wife
as she cuts off his
dick with the kitchen knife
you bloviating bloody old koot
im gonna have the rest of your loot.

[Bat Boy]

31. What the hell

It doesn't matter
If my bullshit turns you on
I'm touching myself

[Neshanic]

32. Mine

Tropic heat my lust
My joy vibrates electric
Loofah I eat now

[norml]

33. Oh Bill O`Reilly. He thought he was so charming. She was repulsed.

:puke:

[grannylib]

34. here's one

Your lies are legion
You are indeed a loudmouth
Wash it out with soap


And another:

A shrill wind whistles
Between your deaf ears - Nutcase
Your meat is rotten

[cavanaghjam]

35. Autumn

the chill winds crawl in
and the leaves wither and fall
like a hot gasbag

[norml]

36. They call me big Bill. I am hot for Al Franken. Bloviate me now!

:)