I've made no mistakes in my life

[Fenris]

I've decided that I have never made a mistake in my life. Oh, sure, up until about a week ago I was convinced that I had seriously screwed things up once or twice, but then I saw the error of my ways. See, I was inspired by our beloved leader and the response he gave when asked to name 3 mistakes he has made as president. In his "oh, gosh..." folksy way the President told the moderator, the audience, and the world that, quite simply, he doesn't make mistakes. In other words, the buck stops elsewhere. And sitting there watching that I realized that I had been hindered by the belief that I was not infallible. Everything that's gone wrong in my life is the result of the mistakes of other people. See how easy it is? Just say it and it's true! "Sweden has no military and are completely neutral." An absolute falsehood! But now it's true because I said so. See it works like this:

(1) I am divinely inspired in everything I say and every action that I perform.

(2) God told my brain that Sweden is neutral and has no army and I in turn relayed God's message by flapping my gullet.

(3) Even if "facts" suggest otherwise, I am entirely correct in believing that Sweden is neutral because:

(A) I am the mouthpiece of God.

(B) God is infallible.

See? It's just that simple! 2+2=5 - yes it does! Black is white - naturally! Up is down - so true! Ignorance is a sign of intelligence - clearly! The President is a genius - okay, let's not get carried away.

[Misunderestimator]

1. "God told my brain..." LOL

Thank you Fenris... what a relief to realize now that I too have made no mistakes!

[Fenris]

2. See! It's so easy!

:hi:

[Bronco69]

3. Jeez! You're right!

I think republicans are sh*t sucking scum so it has to be true because God told me to write that.

[indigobusiness]

4. I'm sure I've made a mistake at some point, but none comes to mind...

Perhaps if I'd had this question in advance I could've come up with something. But, I honestly can't think of anything.

[ET Awful]

5. So basically you're saying that you used to think you made mistakes

but you were mistaken? :) :) :)

[Fenris]

9. Why do you hate America?

:D

[ET Awful]

13. LOL.

:7

[flamingyouth]

6. It think you're right

Except you forgot about that ditch. ;)

[Fenris]

10. That was your fault.

:D

[flamingyouth]

12. Your avatar made me do it

:scared:

[CrownPrinceBandar]

7. Careful Fen......................

You're sitting on a goldmine here, no need to give it away! I'm seeing a series of seminars, books on tape and a eventually a daytime show. Need an agent?

[Fenris]

8. Yes, yes I do!

:D

[CrownPrinceBandar]

11. I'll have my people call your people......................

You're gonna go far, kid! Let's do lunch sometime, bubbie!.........;D