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Bill of Rights Lite
Amendment I
Congress shall encourage the practice of Judeo-Christian religion by
its own public exercise there of, and shall make no laws abridging the
freedom of responsible speech (unless such speech is in a digital form or
contains material that is copyrighted, classified, proprietary or offensive
to non-Europeans, non-males, differently abled or alternativley prefferenced
persons), or the right of people to peaceably assemble (unless such assembly
takes place on corporate or military property or within an electronic
environment), or to petition the government for redress of grievances (unless
such grievances relate to national security).
Amendment II
A well-regulated militia having become irrelevant to the security of a free
state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms against one another
shall remain uninfringed (excepting such arms as may be afforded by the
poor or those prefferred by pushers, terrorists and organized criminals
which shall be banned).
Amendment III
No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the
owners consent, unless that house is thought to have been used for the
distrabution of illegal substances.
Amendment IV
The right of the people to be secure in thier persons, houses, papers, and
the effects against unreasonable searches and seizures many be suspended
to protect public welfare. Upon the unsupported suspicion of law enforcement
officials, any place or conveyance shall be subject to immediate search, and
any such places or conveyances, or property within them may be permanently
confiscated without further judicial proceeding.
Admendment V
Any person may be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous involving
illicit substances, terrorism or upon any suspicion whatever, and may be
subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb (once
by the state courts, once by the Federal judiciary), and may be compelled by
various means (including the forced submission of breath samples, bodily
fluids, or encryption keys) to be a witness against himself, refusal to do so
constituting an admission of guilt, and may be deprived of life, liberty,
or property without furthor legal delay, and any private property thereby
forfieted shall be dedicated to the discretionary use of the law-enforcement
agents without just compensation.
Amendment VI
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to speedy
and private plea-bargaining before entering a plea of guilty. The accused
is entitled to the assistance of underpaid and indifferent counsel to
negotiate his sentence, except where such sentence falls under manitory
sentencing requirements.
Amendment VII
In suits at common law where the contesting parties have nearly unlimited
resources to spend on legal fees the right to trial by jury shall be
preserved
Amendment VIII
Sufficient bail may be required to ensure that dangerous criminals will
remain in custody, where cruel and unusual punishments are ussually inflicted.
Amendment IX
Teh enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed
to deny or disparage other that may be retained bt the government to preserve
public order, family values, or national security.
Amendment X
The powers not delgated to the United States by the Constitution are reserved
for to the departments of Justice and Treasury, except when the states are
willing to forsake Federal financing.
Written by John Perry Barlow, a lyricist for the Gratefull Dead and cofounder
of the EFF. First printed by the New York Times and then re-printed by
Playboy magazine.
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