The best thing about being in a Hotel Room is...

[Misunderestimator]

That you don't have to clean up after yourself...

I can't think of anything else... anyone?

[DS1]

1. all the loud fucking you can handle

:-)

[Misunderestimator]

3. Well, that's a good one... if only I wasn't alone.

That would just be silly. :)

[jdots]

10. you can wipe your nose on the towels

spit in the ice machine,watch a movie for 12 bucks ,ad interesting items to the greedy little snack stash like tofu hot dogs and blood sausages,extra crispy used birth control devices

[Misunderestimator]

19. Oh... YUCK!

You are one sick mofo... :D

[swag]

2. being able to masturbate freely and knowing only the help is watching

[Misunderestimator]

20. Oh shit.... They're watching?!?

[Mojambo]

4. Well, the hookers...

[Misunderestimator]

18. I have no answer to that....

:silly:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

5. free towels

and soap and hairdryers and irons and bibles.

all the bibles you can thump, baby.

:evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

6. Oh yeah... lots o' good reading there

I clean forgot that...

[ikojo]

27. I stayed at a hotel in Chicago in July and left my pocket

size Jewish prayer book there by accident. I am sure someone probably thinks it's terrorist related. It's in Hebrew and English.

[Misunderestimator]

44. LOL.... You're probably right...

and you're probably on the "no fly" list now.

[flvegan]

7. Just knowing all the bodily fluids spilled there before you...

but I'm sure that they're really, really thorough with the cleaning.

[Misunderestimator]

12. Oh... I hate you... since having seen those news programs about that

years ago, that's all I can think about... :scared:

[flvegan]

28. Whatever you do, just say "no" to the blacklight

It'll show all the...um...spillage, in all it's squirted, spilled, poured, dripping glory!

[Misunderestimator]

32. STOP!!!!

Exactly what goes through my mind. Please, STOP!

[flvegan]

35. The good news is

that you can't catch (I don't think) anything just from laying in another person's ejaculate or other fluid that's been cleaned by generic, barely usable detergent. What does the pillow smell like?

[Misunderestimator]

39. Another YUCK for that!

YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK... I don't know... damn it... now I will probably smell something tonight.

[flvegan]

43. And those towels? You can't possibly get them

COMPLETELY clean and devoid of...well, you know...

I'll bet some folks wipe their arses with them, you know, just for fun...

[Misunderestimator]

45. Really... you MUST stop now... you are only making it worse for me...

[flvegan]

48. Well, you have to know

Lots of folks that have stayed in hotel/motel rooms and haven't gotten sick or grown a 3rd arm, so the commercial detergent they use probably kills and cleans everything. Hell, they probably could've used it on the Valdez spill and been home in time for supper.

Feel better?

[Misunderestimator]

50. Oh yeah... I feel just so great now... thanks.

[flvegan]

54. It's not like you have bugs in the mattress, though, right?

[Misunderestimator]

57. Well, jeez... you never know...

this was NOT the intention of this thread... to make me more parnoid than I already am.

[flvegan]

60. But I'm kidding

I'm bringing up all the obvious queries and negative thoughts about staying in a hotel, putting them in a laughable, rediculous thread just to show how silly it all is. If anything I said were true, NOBODY would stay in an overnight suite.

Sorry if I made you uneasy.

[Misunderestimator]

61. But... but... but... it IS true

That's the bad part. :scared:

[flvegan]

63. Um...um...um...but wait!

Let's say that it isn't true. It's spin. No, these are urban legends. Wait, they're untruths told by the neocon political machine to keep youngsters from visiting the local motel and experimenting with Satan's pleasure. Only Falwell can be safe in one of these rentals of ill-repute.

[Misunderestimator]

65. It's too late... After I think about what people are capable of...

I can only imagine worse... so it's TRUE! Damn.

[flvegan]

67. Crap...sorry. However, to make it up to you

If you're ever in Tampa, no hotel for you. You can stay with me. Deal?

Hope you like dogs.

[Misunderestimator]

68. LOL... I live near Tampa... so I don't need a place to stay...

right now I'm south of there by a couple of hours. I love all animals btw.

[flvegan]

71. Dammit! I have nothing else to offer.

Well, if you're ever in the area, I owe you a drink of your choice...within reason. No Bern's Chateau LaBlahBlah at $400 a flute.

[Misunderestimator]

72. I'm more of a beer aficionado in any case...

so... no worries... :)

On edit... oops I meant beer, not bear

[flvegan]

79. Oh, well in that case

www.bearmagazine.com/flvegan/nudeandhairy

Oh, I see that you meant beer. I'm having a Sierra Nevada right now. Damn Sierra Nevada and her sweet, cold, tasty nectar. That's how they got me in Bear Magazine in the first place!

[Kenneth ken]

8. you can

take as long a hot shower as you desire and not worry about the hot water running out.

:hi: Mis

[Misunderestimator]

13. Now, that's a good one... will be taking advantage of that in the morning.

:hi:

[Kenneth ken]

41. then you should

get good and drunk this evening. That's the only time I need really long showers ( + 40 minutes ) is to help revive myself after a night of heavy drinking.

That's another good thing about hotels, you can get trashed in the bar, and not have to drive anywhere. Of course, I only get trashed if I'm somewhere I can spend the night anyway, so that isn't exclusive to hotels.

[Misunderestimator]

46. 40 minutes? Wow!! I don't think I've ever spent that much time

in the shower.... uh... except for maybe once recently. :)

[Amaya]

9. Room service

and free soap/shampoo.

[jdots]

14. replace the bible with the koran

replace the phone book with one from another state

[Misunderestimator]

16. You are just evil.... next week, I'll be packing a phone book.

;) Great idea!!!

[DS1]

22. You're traveling, need a hotel room, and are bringing your own phone book?

I didn't know you were a cop :evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

25. LOL ... Well, after jdots suggestion, yes...

I may be bringing a phone book... As for the rest... mum's the word. :)

[Misunderestimator]

17. Yeah, room service, but at what price, and quality?

And the shampoo/soap is cool, but how far can you get with 1 ounce of it?

[Amaya]

30. True

Once I paid 80 dollars for breakfast at the Venetian in Vegas. It was good, but I know a rip off. Oh well, sometimes ya gotta splurge.

I still have the free shampoo :)

[yvr girl]

11. At home, I can't phone someone

to bring me a twelve dollar hamburger on a silver platter with cute little bottles of ketchup, mustard and mayo.

[Misunderestimator]

15. Right... and so worth the price, no?

[yvr girl]

21. Not bad if you're paying with

airline vouchers or expensing it.

[Misunderestimator]

23. Expensing is great....

I just can't go overboard...

[jdots]

26. use up all the hot water for the whole place

see how loud you have to turn up a t.v. to blow the speaker
see what kind of a party it reguires to be thrown out.

[Misunderestimator]

34. Now THAT's an idea!

Though I don't know where I'd go if I was thrown out. :shrug:

[arwalden]

24. The Cute Little Bottles Of Shampoo And Little Bars Of Soap...

Free cable. It's also good to have a mini bar that's always stocked.

-- Allen

Free bibles!!

Now how arrogant is that??? Why don't they provide scriptures for other religions? How about the American Atheists newsletter?

[Misunderestimator]

29. But... but... the mini bar...

has little tiny bottles that would cost me so much less in the store. And while I'm here, I'm still paying for my satellite at home... What's your point? :D

[arwalden]

31. Uh... My Point?... Uh... Well... FREE SHAMPOO!!

[Misunderestimator]

33. I thought so...

you little shampoo freak you.

[LynneSin]

36. HOTEL PARTIES!!! (fondly remembers a special Oct weekend in 2002)

:bounce:

[Misunderestimator]

42. Oh... now... you must expand on that one...

:hi:

[LynneSin]

47. What happens in DC stays in DC

You'll have to get Matcom, DS1, RBNYC & Underpants drunk for that one!

[Misunderestimator]

53. Damn... have to get to one of those Noreaster DU getogethers.

[LynneSin]

37. HOTEL PARTIES!!! (fondly remembers a special Oct weekend in 2002)

:bounce:

[SarahB]

38. Hmmm....hmmm....hmmm.....

I'll have to think about it. :think:

I love jacuzzis and I don't have one at home. That's always fun. :D

[Misunderestimator]

40. No jacuzzi here, unfortunately...

that would be worth it. Just your basic king size bed, desk, chair and little couch.

[SarahB]

52. You've got part of what I'd need for the perfect hotel room moment.

1. King size bed (you've got that :D)
2. The right person (most important part).
3. Jacuzzi (extra steamy, hot, and wet)

bonus:
fireplace (especially if you're someplace cold outside)
room service

[Misunderestimator]

58. That DOES sound romantic...

A private jacuzzi... AND a fireplace. Unfortunately, the firepkace is pretty hard to find in a Florida hotel room.

I think also that number 4. would be another person. :)

[SarahB]

64. Another person was #2 (should be #1 really).

It is romantic..sigh. Lots of places like that around Connecticut, but no one around here I want to share it with at the moment. :(

[HEyHEY]

49. Depends how good your prostitute is!

[Misunderestimator]

51. Ha... I can't comment on that... as I have no experience...

have never had to pay for it... not once.

[HEyHEY]

55. I er..uh...er niether have I

[Misunderestimator]

56. LOL

[arwalden]

59. NO Jehovah's Witnesses And No Telemarketers!!!!!

[Misunderestimator]

62. YES! That's the best part, by far!

Thanks.

[arwalden]

66. Wake-Up Calls Are Fun...

But they were MORE fun when there would actually be a LIVE PERSON on the other end of the line to say "This is your wake-up call Mr. Walden... have a nice day."

Or... in your case they would have said "Miss Underestimator" instead of "Mr. Walden" because it would be your call and not mine.

Unless you had checked into the hotel using a pseudonym, but then they'd probably be calling you Miss Walden instead of Mr. Walden anyway. Unless you were dressed sort of androgynous and the night clerk didn't really pay attention to you because he was in training and more concerned with filling in the paperwork properly.

Anyway...

-- Allen

[Misunderestimator]

69. LOL.... lovely stream-of-consciousness going on there, Allen.

:D

[barb162]

70. depends on the quality of the hotel and location

In some places in Hawaii where you can watch the whales from your room.

If a hotel has really great room service and the furniture is really comfortable, I have been known to feel no pain at all spending the company's money.

SOme hotels, you just can't wait to get out.

[Misunderestimator]

73. How I wish I was in Hawaii...

Nothing comparable here... I can't wait to get out.

[barb162]

80. ummm, Florida can be nice. I remember watching a school of

dolphins at dusk about 50 feet off the beach just gracefully jumping and jumping looking for the evening meal. It's a lot more scenic than IL! I have never been able to take the heat, humidity in Florida, though.

[barb162]

82. where will you be going?

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

74. Coitus

[Misunderestimator]

77. Well, obviously ... If I weren't here alone

[GingerSnaps]

75. 2 beds

One to mess up and another one to sleep in :evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

78. But there's only one here

not that it matters...

[grannylib]

76. That I am usually there by myself (traveling on business) and therefore

feel pretty unfettered...I am not a 'wild woman' anymore, but I do love being able to hog the whole bed, or watch whatever I want on TV, or laze in the tub for hours if I want...
I like staying in or going out, I like putting my small family photos on the dresser, I like calling out for 'za or Chinese and pigging out 'cos no-one's looking.
And I like keeping the place really clean 'cos the help gets paid bupkes and doesn't deserve to have to do anything out of the ordinary to clean up after me.

[Misunderestimator]

81. Exactly... traveling on business

nothing could be worse. I do always leave a couple of dollars for the maids. And I don't leave much of a mess anyway. It's sweet that you put up family photos. :)

[grannylib]

83. Gotta have 'em...I always take the same ones. They are pretty small,

but in nice little frames. One of me and the hubby, one of the whole fan-damily, including the grandkids and one of their mom, my oldest daughter (she died a few years ago).
Makes me feel more comfortable having all of them with me!:D

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

84. Being in it with me