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Most biblical scholars agree that the Second Coming of Jesus is just around the corner, with the Son of god likely to return to Earth as early as December. And a new book by a top Bible expert tells how to conduct themselves in His presence.
"If you are lucky enough to meet Jesus in person, you want to make the best impression possible," declares the Rev. Keith Pithe, author of of the exciting new book A Godly Manner.
Here are some of the common Second Coming etiquette, followed by the Rev. Pithe's answers:
How do I address Jesus? Master, My Lord or Father are the most appropriate forms of address. But the down-to-Earth former carpenter won't be offended if you call him by his given name, Jesus. It goes without saying that ugly and profane derivatives such as "Jesus K. Reist" are unacceptable.
May I touch Him? Don't be afraid of touching God's flesh and blood incarnation. Warmhearted Jesus always loved to be hugged and embraced, especially by children. A simple handshake is acceptable, too. But don't try too hard to impress the Savior with how "manly" your grip is. Squeezing Christ's palms could irritate his crucifixion wounds.
How should I show my reverence? Bowing is fine, genuflecting is better. Prostrat-ing yourself to kiss His feet is not advisable when there are others around who wish to adore the Messiah; because unless you're extremely fit, it takes too long to get up. Remember, hogging time with the Lord is not fair.
Should I ask Him for help? Yes, if you have a problem, there's nothing wrong with asking Jesus for aid. No matter how many others are bending His ears with requests, He will take your prayers seriously, just as He does while up in Heaven. Just try to be as concise as possible.
May I complain? You might have a beef about the way things are going in your life, and you may hold God to blame. But before you shoot off your mouth, remind yourself that Judgement Day is due to arrive soon after the Second Coming, and you want to stay on His good side.
May I invite Him to dinner? Certainly. In Christ's time, such an invitation would be considered normal, and He often dined at the homes of followers. But consult a kosher cookbook when putting together your menu.
"Our Lord will undoubtedly abide by the dietary restrictions outlined in the Old Testament," says the Atlanta-based Rev. Pithe.
What if His table manners are odd? Modern utensils may not be familiar to Jesus, who was raised in ancient Palestine. Don't be surprised if He appears uncomfortable using a fork and table knife.
Don't attempt to correct Him, just quietly show him the correct way by example.
Is it O.K. to make a joke? Yes. Jesus has a wonderful sense of humor, although it would be a good idea to keep your jokes clean.
If Christ cracks a joke Himself, don't feel compelled to laugh if you don't get it.
Says Rev. Pithe, "Jesus can spot a phony a mile away."
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/religion/17723This must be true, it's in the Weekly World News!
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