What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you in public!

[JimmyJazz]

As some of you know, I had to remove ALL my desk toys, my Chavez wall paper (:P) and my parental advisory sign. Oh and the kicker: they made me wear pantyhose today! So, I'm bored, chaffing and in desperate need of some entertainment.

Here, I'll go first:

I was really bored in class one day (toxic torts - a real nail biter). The class was held in an auditorium with the rows of plastic seats attached to the steel bar and the flip top desks for writing. I had been sitting there for about 45 minutes (on the end about half way up) when I leaned slightly to the left. APPARENTLY, the seat wasn't bolted down on one side and the shift in weight caused the seat to flip and I fell out of the seat and rolled down several aisles. The instructor bailed on the last 20 minutes of class because no one could stop laughing.

Next, please...

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. I was checking a microphone on stage.

In front of approx. 30,000 people. I was wearing sweat pants with an elastic waistband. One of the other crew guys decided to, as I was checking that mic at downstage center, to...

Do I really have to go on? Use your imagination.

[JimmyJazz]

3. that's just cruel, but

30,000 people - that's a lot of people...just curious, who was the band?

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

15. Uhhh...

Lemme see. Might have been Seger. Maybe. Maybe Quiet Riot. It's been a while.

[sui generis]

10. commando? just trying to refine my imagination

:evilgrin:

[getoffmytrain]

13. Not quite public 'in public'...

But embarrassing nonetheless..

Back when my brother and I had an office together he knew this local artist and had him hang a number of his paintings throughout the office... so I came back from lunch, walked in one of the rooms and saw the art and said:

"What is this shit? This is terrible.... man, a chimp can paint better than this... seriously, this is the worst art I've ever seen... I can't believe we have this junk on our walls" etc. etc. etc.

Meanwhile, my bro is just staring at me with a deer in headlights look... which of course made me realize something is wrong. Off to the side, seated next to large bookshelf and out of my view sat the artist who painted the pictures. I turned and looked at him and said, "Man... uhhhh, I'm kidding..." which it was obvious I had no idea he was there... so, I crawled away from the office and under a rock.

I swear though, the art really sucked!

Anyway, that's the first story that came to mind.

[JimmyJazz]

16. I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from

:P

[getoffmytrain]

19. ha... must i go on?

:-)

[miss_kitty]

71. wow! a guy I had a crush on did that-to me!

I was in art class, the only one done with the assignment, had it pinned to the wall, I was sitting next to it AND I was working on something else! hahaha!

Mr Stupid comes walking in LATE and starts in on my painting. I was so pleased with the work, that the more he said that shit, the bigger I grinned. People in the class were totally not comfy with this, shifting in their seats, as he was saying "Who did that piece of shit!?! FUCK I can't believe it! That is the ugliest goddamned POS I have ever seen!"

Finally I burst out laughing, John the teacher said "Uh, Whats-yer-name, uh-miss_kitty painted that" "Why didn't anyone tell me!?!" he wailed. The fuckin' best man-he was sooooo wrong!

Oh I could not maintain a crush on someone who had no observational skills! :P

On Edit: I still have the painting, and I still love it.

[Q3JR4]

61. I don't get it?

What am I missing?

:shrug:

[Lavender Brown]

2. Once, my professor asked me to leave class

because my stomach was making loud growly noises. :cry:

[HEyHEY]

5. I hope you told him to go fuck a duck

That makes me furious just hearing that

[Lavender Brown]

9. It turned out OK though

Because I got to go to the dining hall and eat. :D

[terrya]

4. Walking around in public with my fly open.

That's just plain mortifying...

[JimmyJazz]

12. Oh dear...Not to top your story, but I once had to tell

my boss that not only was his fly down, but his shirt tail was sticking out of it.

[terrya]

17. It's even worse when no one tells you....

And you walk around the city of Chicago unzipped.

[JimmyJazz]

21. There, there (oops) love:

Feel better now?

[pagerbear]

24. The stable door was open

...but was horse out of the stable?

[DrZeeLit]

66. Does "girl's fly" count?

I was teaching jr high at the time. Sitting on a table in front of the room, reading a book aloud to the class, who were gathered around me in festival seating fashion.

Ooops! Fly was open the whole time.

Here I am showing the pictures in that lovely sweeping gesture.. you know, about waist high? Yikes...but that's not the worst part...

Noooooooo.... you see...... I don't wear undies... I hate them.. I always go commando...

Soooo literature class got a lot more like Bio 101 that day.

And noooo, I wasn't fired.
But I didn't "find out" about this little debacle until after class.

One word for that moment: RED FACE

[LibLover]

110. Jr. High boys?

You probably made their year and set the standard by which they fantasize about us women!

I bet you had their complete attention! (Powerful, isn't it?):evilgrin:

[pagerbear]

69. Along these lines

...there was once a letter to Ann Landers in which someone described a workplace situation where a man worked in the front of a room full of desks and the restroom was at the rear. From time to time he would head to the restroom and absentmindedly begin pulling his zipper down before he got there. Sometimes he even had his willy in his hand! Needless to say, the folks he worked with were uncomfortable, but they didn't know how to handle it without humiliating the guy.

And of course, I don't remember what the answer was, unless it was to stop him with a question while he's walking back there or something!

[SnowGoose]

I threw up in the Japanese Prime Minister's lap

(name witheld by author's request)

[JimmyJazz]

14. lol

:hi:

[barb162]

62. yeah but he was too stupid to even be embarrassed

[sui generis]

6. went on a drunken tear with a bunch of coworkers in Jacksonville

Floridubya that ended in a late night skinnydip in the ocean.

It was a dark and windy night, and when we finally got sober enough to head back to the car to drive back to the hotel (an Embassy Suites), our clothes had all blown away!

After running around nekkid on the beach for twenty minutes looking for our clothes (the purse with the keys was still there), we got in the car drove back to the port cochere of the hotel and asked them to bring out blankets so we could get up to our various rooms.

Yes, the staff just about peed in their pants and I am sure are still talking about it.

[jdj]

140. once got busted by a park ranger skinnydipping

after the park had closed,

I begged him to give us a minute to get dressed, but he yelled at us to get the hell out of the water now. it was night and he had his headlights trained on us and we had to run out of the water naked and get dressed while running to the car. Asshole. (and a perv.)

[pres2032]

7. once got into the wrong car

with the owners inside it!

[jdj]

142. I've done that, the owner wasn't inside, but

he came running out of his hotel room.

I had been in the car several minutes looking for something when I noticed the empty cig packs on the floor (no one smokes) and had that surreal moment where you feel like you've jumped dimensions because you're SURE this is your car, and someone is playing a trick on you.

A friend of mine once was on a date and came back from the bathroom and sat down at the wrong table. She was totally embarassed, but being the wonderful wacky woman she is, she asked the guy seated at the table to play along with her and pretend he knew her just to mess with her date and make him a little jealous.

[HEyHEY]

8. Not embarrasing but COULD HAVE BEEN BAD

About two weeks ago, I got outta the car and walked towards the grocery store. I felt a draft, I then realize not only was my fly open, my boxers were to, and well. you know the rest.

Lucky for my I had a long coat on.

[JohnKleeb]

11. Most embarassing? well it changes so often

but I have plenty of embarassing moments. Ok most recent time though was when I was in DC last month with some friends and I decided to show off for everyone by running up an escalator that was stopped, and I don't have much speed so I basically killed my ankles on it but hey I nearly made it.

[DontTreadOnMe]

22. well...

these was this one time when I drew up a sign and spelled "moran", and now my face and mullet are the laughing stock of the country... and the other one was just the other day when I was stealing a Kerry sign on my neighbor's lawn and I fell down and hit my head on the driveway, causing me to become unconsience... and now my picture is all over USA Today for getting arrested for it, let alone now my neighbors all look at me funny. :)

[JimmyJazz]

28. OMG - that's you!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome - and very brave of you to confess!

:toast:

[miss_kitty]

72. Plus you are 50 years old and the Mrs was driving

WTF were you two thinking!?!
HaHaHaHaHaHa! :D

[ThomCat]

23. Were you wearing a speedo?

:7

Sorry. Had to be asked.

[JohnKleeb]

44. no I think a regular T shirt and cargo shorts

[pagerbear]

26. Give it time, young one

You'll have many more stories!

[JohnKleeb]

46. Thats just in the last month

:D
There was this time last yera when I fell asleep in class and bumped my head.

[cally]

18. Definitely a baby shower

I tried to stop this shower but I couldn't. I didn't want to go but my mother in law's close friend held a baby shower for me. None of my friends came since I didn't ask them. This was my m-i-l's party. Imagine women who really worry about appearances and how appropriate parties are. I'm eight months pregnant and not so happy about being there, speakind to many strangers, etc. So, I go to cut the cake. I put my hand on the table, lean over, and attempt to cut the cake. The table collapses. Cake goes down. I still have no idea why that table collapsed. Supposedly the hostess had propped it up but imagine all these horrified women looking at this mess. :shudder:

[GingerSnaps]

20. My panties fell off in public

I had a summer dress on and I pulled a thread thinking that it was from the hem of my dress and it was from my panties and they fell off. The most embarrassing part was I was walking down the street during rush hour.

[getoffmytrain]

27. LMAO!

that's when you run and leave them there on the sidewalk.

[JimmyJazz]

29. you gotta lotta nerve to laugh at that story...

I've heard about you! :P

[GingerSnaps]

32. They got caught on the heals of my shoes

I had to maneuver so that my dress wouldn't fly up in back and after I got them off of my heels I ran.

[wickerwoman]

115. OMG- I'd blocked mine out until I read yours.

I'll spare you the details, but it involved a crowded beach, a maxi pad, and loose shorts.

[sui generis]

25. I wore a radio earpiece at a recent public debate

but fortunately nobody found out about it.

(name withheld)

[fudge stripe cookays]

30. 8th Grade School Play

It was Jesus Christ Superstar, and we didn't have enough little boys who wanted to play the main parts, so we used girls with short hair and the guys played guards.

I was Pontius Pilate, and was incredibly dramatic doing my "Die if you want to! You miserable martyr!" line. I was supposed to turn on my heel and stalk off stage.

Unfortunately, I had these plastic roman sandals on, that were just a TAD too long. One caught on the rug, I fell flat on my face, and lay there dazed and mortified for a second, until I got up, waved my red cape with a flourish, and kept going.

FSC

[JimmyJazz]

33. I always feel bad when stuff happens to kids because

other kids can be so mean. I was laughing harder than anyone when I fell which made it okay for everyone else to join in.

[devilgrrl]

31. Having to go to High School.

I was publicly humiliated everyday..

[SarahB]

34. Let's see...

My breasts popped out of my shirt on a roller coaster, my breasts showed through my bathing suit once, and public vomiting-- from too much to drink (any more than 3 in a row and :puke: for me, that's why I keep it light most of the time) and morning sickness (but that was at a different time obviously).

[Pithlet]

111. I have a boob related one, too.

I told it recently in another thread, but I'll relate it again. When I breastfeed, I sometimes forget which side I used last, so in private I kind of "weigh" them in my hand to see which one is fuller. AAAnyway...

Waiting in the emergency room, and I decide to feed my little one. Harried from the long wait, I kind of forget where I am, and not so discretely whip one out and kind of heft it in my hand before nursing. I suddenly realize what I'm doing and turn to see two teenaged boys just staring at me, and they start to laugh. The nurses in the station were giving me a funny look, too.

[SarahB]

122. I've done the "weigh" thing too LOL.

If I add nursing fiascos to the mix, there's plenty. Actually, many times, I sat that trying to discreetly nurse in public when the baby being nursed suddenly pulled off too look at something and not only exposed my breast, but I started to spray or leak stuff too.
Even worse now is that my youngest is 3 and he hasn't been nursed in about a year and he still remembers (and misses it), so even now frequently in public, he tries to grab me (when I'm pushing him in a grocery cart seems to be the time of choice), and says "Boobies, mommy. I still love your boobies." I remind him he's a big now now and the milk is gone, but he still seems obsessed after all this time. I've been considering given the lad a subscription to Playboy for Christmas this year. Poor little guy. :crazy:

[PNsC]

35. How can they make you wear pantyhose?

Since when are stocking not allowed?

[JimmyJazz]

37. with a business suit?

It's professional attire today. You know it's the 2000s though when the memo includes instructions to cover all tattoos!

[GingerSnaps]

38. They make spray on pantyhose

If you smudge them they look like you have a rip in them. You can make fishnets if you hold a screen up in front of your legs before spraying.

[JimmyJazz]

40. lol - that seems to be more trouble than a bit of

chaffing. And, aside from that, are fishnets even fashionable these days?

[GingerSnaps]

42. I don't know?

I was just being creative and :silly:

[miss_kitty]

74. Must be tough hiding those jail tats high up on your neck

not to mention the tear drop...:evilgrin:

[JimmyJazz]

124. I don't have jailhouse tats! My are professionally done, I'll have

you know! However, I did have to pretend to have a neck wound to hide my "die hard lib" tat. :P

[PNsC]

121. Oh, I understand requiring hose

Not that I agree with it but you can wear stocking instead of pantyhose, was my point. They are much cooler and that might help with the chafing?

[Zorra]

36. I was doing a cover gig with my band, and there was nobody in this

huge room we were playing. So "out of despair" I got pretty drunk. Naturally, the room quickly filled up, and some folks that followed our band desperately wanted to hear "Stairway To Heaven". I was already drunk enough to make me really stupid, so I agreed to do it, got up on stage, on a stool, by myself, with a spotlight on me.

This tune has a fairly long, solo acoustic guitar and vocal intro, which was all mine.

All mine.
:eyes:

It was like the worst train wreck in history, only it sounded worse.

I have never gotten drunk at a gig since.

[Sweet Freedom]

39. Once I was splashed with water

by a passing car. I was wearing a white jumpsuit... You know what happens when white gets wet.

Anyway, all the construction workers I had to walk passed lined up and clapped.

I think I was 15 -- I nearly died.

[ThomCat]

57. Ouch

I'm so sorry. :(

[redqueen]

41. First one that comes to mind

Dove into a public pool, bathing suit top came off. Didn't find it for close to a minute, but it felt like forever.

[JimmyJazz]

43. I think the "lost top of bathing suit" people could start a sizeable

club. I'd be a member.

[redqueen]

47. I think they're made to do that

swear to God.

[plcdude]

45. tell me more tell me more

tell me more (driving me crazy today)

[JimmyJazz]

48. should we start a gallery for our new club? would that be

helpful?

[plcdude]

49. o we can just pm

each other

[redqueen]

50. More?

What else is there to tell? I ducked back under the water and put my top back on, when I finally found it.

[GingerSnaps]

51. I had that happen in High School but it was a one piece

The whole bathing suit came off in the pool and it was floating behind me. I was so skinny that my bathing suit didn't fit right and when I jumped into the poll the suit expanded and floated off.

[JimmyJazz]

53. see, four members of the club right here! I was in the ocean

and once those waves recede, well, you know...

[geniph]

52. A swimming race in high school

My swimsuit had finally disintegrated and my mother wouldn't spring for a new one, so I borrowed a two-piece from my oldest sister so I could continue to swim. My sister's not only bustier than I am, she actually has an ass. We had a race that week, and I did a nice fast racing dive ... and lost the bottoms, all the way off. I didn't want to lose the race, so I finished the race, then, instead of getting out of the pool at the end like everyone else, I swam around until I found my bottoms.

Mooned the whole damn swim team.

[JimmyJazz]

54. Wow - that's taking one for the team - and wlecome to our new club!

now with five members!

[yardwork]

91. Count me in as another member - but mine has a happy ending

One of the guys I was with was so enthralled he asked me to marry him. Celebrated twenty years last summer.

My most embarrassing moment has to be the time I walked up to a coworker's wife and enthusiastically congratulated her for expecting a baby - only she wasn't.

[the Princess]

55. I was 19 - painfully shy and my best friend and I were in a bar

drunk and listening to our favorite cover band! We decided to go stand up in front and get a better view of the cute band guys! :)

Well, the band had a mascot they kept on top of their speakers a HUGE pink pig (stuffed animal). Well - as my luck would have it I was standing right under the speaker they had placed the pig on that night. I was drunk mind you and really unaware of what was going on. One of the roadies started playing with the pig making it buck and look like it was dancing to the music. Yeah ha ha REEEAL funny. so anyway - I looked up and the pig took a leap off the speaker right into my arms! In front of a bar full of drunks!!!!!!!!!! LMAO! The singer of the band said "What a catch - let's hear it for the little lady!" I was mortified - but none the less I took a bow! The whole bar was cheering and laughing!

The guys in the band never forgot me! :)

[JimmyJazz]

56. that's not so bad - at least you aren't a member of the

lost bathing suit top/bottom club (newly formed) like some of us!
:hi:

[LibLover]

114. Lost a bikini bottom once

I usually wear a dark t-shirt in the pool to preserve a very large tattoo (sun block just doesn't do it) between my shoulder blades. I never wear anything under my shirts unless I'm at work and it's warm out. (I go braless under sweaters).

I apparently made a teenaged boy's day in the deep end of a public pool last August. I dropped underwater to get my hair out of my face and my shirt came up on me. The boy had just jumped in right in front of me and his face was about two feet from my chest.

I think he was more embarrassed tham I was.

[TrustingDog]

58. as a teenager so many years ago - somewhat slobbish...

when I came home late after partying I'd sometimes just walk out of my clothes/jeans and leave them in a pile by my bedside.

Hopping into my jeans to go shopping the next day I discovered that I forgot that I had pantyhose on the night before - and they were stuck in my pantleg and started crawling out on their own while on an escalator in a major department store.

so there I am trying to stuff my embarrassment into my winter boot thinking a store dick was going to accuse me of stealing my own pantyhose.

[Neshanic]

59. Forgot my name when introducing myself to roomfull of co-workers

About a minute later the guy next to me whispered my name to me.

[UrbScotty]

60. I went to a women's bathroom at a ballpark.

I don't know if anyone else noticed.

Luckily, I caught myself in the act.

[yardwork]

92. Oh yeah I did that too

Only it was a men's bathroom and the whole two vans of other teens I was with on the school trip noticed.

[UrbScotty]

127. Don't we all at one point or another in our lives?

:evilgrin:

[Ratty]

63. Farting

All my embarassing public incidents involve farting. Usually trying to let a squeaker through and ending up with a fog horn, or misunderestimating the stinko peeyuu potential, or not even trying to be "gentle" cause I didn't realize there were, like, 12 people standing behind me (they weren't THERE a minute ago!), or letting out a big old "OOOOH that was GOOOOD!" (again, they weren't there two seconds ago, I SWEAR!).

Lots of other kinds of really embarrassing incidents with individuals or two or three other people, but as for public incidents ... it always seems to involve farting.

[pagerbear]

68. Isn't there a car commercial

...where a girl gets into a date's car and let's a couple rip while he's walking around to get in the driver's side. When he gets in, he introduces his parents in the back seat.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

64. Now THAT is hilarious!!

I'm laughing my head off now!

As for me, it was very hot on August 12, 1975, the day I got my ears pierced. I was 2 1/2 weeks short of 13. I was a nervous wreck because my sister, visiting from California, kept gabbing with our mother while I waited nervously to be transported to the jewelry store to have the deed done. I got through the piercing fine, but when we walked out of the store I whirled around a couple of times and crashed into the store window, breaking my glasses. People across the street were looking at me, and I wanted to crawl under a rock! That and the time I gave blood without eating first remain the only times I have fainted.

[GOPisEvil]

65. In high school, I had a desk collapse and break, trapping me.

Only my ego was wounded, however. ;-)

[JimmyJazz]

67. I hear you - those public classroom incidents

are a bitch!

:hi:

[Pax Argent]

70. I got one

It was a warm summer's night, and my team-mates in the warehouse had emptied a can of tuna into a waste paper can that they also had been using to spit used chewing tobacco. I was leaning back in a chair near the trash can taking a phone call when the chair snapped out from under me. I landed in the can and wound up coated in warm tuna and tobacco juice.

I walked over to the not very well ventilated office my management had across the building. As I walked through the door it looked like all of them got hit in the back of the head and one turned and asked what the hell I'd gotten into. They were very happy to let me leave work that night.

[GRLMGC]

73. Proving that I'm stupid

I was walking out of the mall and I somehow didn't realize that I was walking into a glass wall. Big thud everyone turns around. I got up quickly and left while my mom was laughing uncontrollably. There was an imprint of my face on the glass. That sucked

[LDS Jock]

75. family member making racist remark in elevator

My family all grew up in an isolated area in the Arkansas Ozarks, where it is completely white and many people never leave the county line and have no idea about the outside world. My cousin's mom is one of those people. She came down here to Austin for her first outside visit when this happened. Me, my cousin and her mom were in an elevator with a black woman and her child. My aunt says to the black lady, "thats a pretty little colored baby." Me and my cousin almost died of embarrassment. We apologized to the lady, telling her she didn't mean it to sound bad, she just doesn't know better. She laughed it off but to this day I still cringe at the thought of it.

[LibLover]

113. My unsavvy uncle.

Always says how much he likes "Chink food", even with the Asian waiter standing right there.

You just want to crawl under the table and hide.

[Modem Butterfly]

132. I can top that

I'm an adopted person of color. My adopted parents, however, are as white as they come. After college, I moved to Atlanta and a couple of years later, my folks came for a visit. We took in the usual attractions, including a trip to Stone Mountain, which, as you might well imagine, is a park built around a gigantic piece of rock (I've heard it's the largest hunk of exposed granite on this side of the Atlantic, but I don't know for sure). Anyway, one of the attractions at Stone Mountain was an example of plantation houses illustrating the history of Georgia, starting at colonial times until the Civil War. We bought our tickets for this attraction and an African-American woman dressed in period costume (read: slave without the chains) took our tickets. My mother handed hers over and said, in a soft voice, "On behalf of my people, I want to say I am so, so sorry for what happened to your people,". I was mortified. My father was humiliated. My partner pretended not to know us. Dad hustled Mom away, muttering something about medication, leaving me to contend with the ticket taker. I said, "Gosh, I'm so sorry, she's not normally like this," to which the ticket taker responded, "Don't worry about it, it happens more than you might think,"

[Red State Rebel]

138. My 3 year old daughter got me.....

We had moved from an apartment in the county to a flat in the city and during our first visit to the local department store my daughter looks around the busy womens clothing department and announces "you're not supposed to make fun of black people are ya mom". I was sooo embarassed! I guess my explanations of race and treating everyone the same made an impression, I just wish she'd been a little more quiet!

[miss_kitty]

76. I got a couple one was the run of the mill tucking the skirt into the

panthose and walking all over the office (Nordstrom) I have a lot of clothing snafus-shirts on backwards.

Oh once I made a Calvin Klein dress out of hanky linen and it was short-they were wearing them longer, but I was going to Art School and reading the fashion mags. All the Europeans were showing short-so I thought WTF? I was working in Saavy or Collectors at Nordstrom in the flagship store, the Store 1 store manager came down for a looksee, then the Nordstroms themselves passed by one by one throughout the day. And I spent the entire day trying to pull it longer, but that just wasn't going to happen...:eyes:

[JimmyJazz]

83. Yes, but are you a part of the "I lost my top in a swimming pool'

club???

[miss_kitty]

84. Yes :)

i have lost my top in many places and the bottoms once or twice too...I switched to one piece suits.

[JimmyJazz]

85. I'm telling you - it's a club! And a new thread if I'm not

mistaken!

[Red State Rebel]

139. Count me in.....

The last incident was when I was in my 30's and we were riding inner tubes on the lake pulled by our boat. I was laying across the tube on my stomach, hanging on to the rope for dear life. When they stopped and it was time to get back into the boat, I realized the rushing water pushed the top of my one piece down and I flashed my family and friends. oy vey!

[jdj]

141. I peed in the pool once

(well more than once, but this time I got caught)

I had a crush on a boy with me, I was in 7th grade, was in the deep end, and pretended to be flailing around in the "deep water" when i was really peeing, but I didn't know the boy had dived in and went under water to boost me out of the deep end, and probably swam right through my pee puddle. I was mortified, but he never mentioned it. When he kissed me he slobbered all over me, so I guess we were even.

[fishwax]

77. Not quite the same as losing my swimsuit

Although I've had that happen a time or two as well ... but when I was a kid, maybe 10-12, I went swimming at the city park wearing some light blue nylon trunks my grandma had just bought me. The trunks looked cool when they were dry, but what I wasn't aware of is that they were basically see-through when they would get wet and stick to your skin.

I had been swimming in the city pool for quite a while before I realized it--I was standing on the diving board getting ready to jump in when I heard two girls behind me giggling, took a look down, and figured it out. :o

[Dastard Stepchild]

78. 8th Grade - wipeout on the playground

I was playing kickball during a gym/recess period, and the schoolyard was packed. I was rounding third base, and I smacked REALLY HARD into a kid on the opposing team. We knocked each other a few feet back, and I remember just laying there on my back, winded, with my uniform skirt flying up and my underwear hanging out for the world to see. My mother, a most awful laundress, had been experimenting with varying levels of bleach when cleaning whites, and all of my underwear had gaping holes in the most private of places. So, ya know... twas a bit of a peep show for all the little lasses and gents.

[Tom Kitten]

79. I went to a large party once...

(ouch it hurts to remember this but I've told this story before)
It was springtime and I had hayfever...went to this party and had a sneezing fit...wiped my nose with a tissue, went on socializing for about half an hour but noticed people were looking at me funny without saying much! Finally had to go to the bathroom, when I was done I looked in the mirror and to my horror saw a big green booger stuck to the tip of my nose! So that's what they were looking at! Fortunately the bathroom was by the front door, I quickly slipped out the bathroom and left, I was absolutely humiliated!

[MrSandman]

80. Fell asleep in grad school...

And bloodied my nose when I hit the floor.

Working f/t and carrying nine credits sux.

[MissMillie]

81. I turned the bunsun burner on in Chem class

and singed my hair.

[Taverner]

143. OMG I DID THAT

Back in HS...1984

[Modem Butterfly]

82. This happened at the vets office

A few years ago, we adopted a shar-pei. My partner and I had always had Chows, so this was our first short-haired dog. So after we'd had him for a couple of days, I was rubbing his belly and noticed a tick. It was pink, and seemed to be only partially engored. I tried to remove it, but he was quite agitated. I called the vet, who's only a mile or so away, and they suggested I pop by and they would remove the tick for us (we have a great vet). So I pop the pup into the car and rush over to the vet.

It's the middle of the afternoon, so there aren't a lot of folks there (THANK GOD!) and we're ushered into an exam room (did I mention that one of our dogs had a chronic illness so we'd spent a lot of time and money there?). I explain to the doctor about the tick, I gently roll my dog over and point to the tick on his belly. The vet kind of stared at me for a minute while the vet tech started giggling. Finally, the vet says, "Um, that's actually a nipple,". Like the frigging moron that I am, I say, "But it's so big and red," and the vet finally can't control himself anymore and he burst out laughing and said, "Well, you did say you tried to remove it,"

[JimmyJazz]

87. see what happens when you play with them?

[Modem Butterfly]

88. The really funny part...

... is that a few months later, the same nipple showed signs of irritation again without any obvious reason (i.e., I didn't treat it like a parasite). So, once again, like a frigging moron, I enter the following search terms into Google: dog +nipple +red +enlarged. Let's just say that the results were interesting but ultimately unhelpful.

[JimmyJazz]

89. I have no doubt!

[Guaranteed]

101. LOL best story ever. nt

[ze_dscherman]

117. Happened to others as well

Some (girl) friends of mine had their first dog, a puppy, and actually thried to squeeze out that "pimple". Poor doggy.

[CO Liberal]

86. On My High School Radio Station

WJSV-FM, MOrristown, NJ. One day the record was over, so I turned on the microphone to say something.

And I belched out of radios across Morris County.....

[JimmyJazz]

93. Morristown - where is that? I'm a phila gal personally -

were we neighbors

[CO Liberal]

98. Morristown is in North Jersey

About 40 miles west of NYC. I-287, US-202 and NY 24 go through it.

You may have been thinking of Moorestown, which is closer to Philly.

[Rockholm]

128. I LOVE North Jersey!

I used to live in Madison!

[LibLover]

116. Sure... You did it on purpose!

[NorthernSpy]

90. lingerie disaster -- defective bra

One of the underwires on my bra snapped (audibly, I swear) when I was in public. The sharp end went right through the cloth and stabbed me, and I yelped.

As I fled the scene, I kept one arm folded over the affected cup, and tried to artfully arrange my hair over that side. Not sure how anyone there reacted or whether they even noticed: I didn't dare look around.

Got the thing off in the car as discreetly as possible, and kept my coat on til I could get home.

I'm a little spoiled for choice when it comes to embarrassing moments. I've had so many of them.

[miss_kitty]

94. more please?

c'mon...

[no name no slogan]

95. Almost got arrested in Earl's Court, London, for pissing in public

Me and a pal were coming back on the tube from a big beer festival, where we got very very drunk. Unfortunately, the last underground train to our station had already left, so we had to get out at Earl's Court, which was a couple miles from home.

It was late (12:00 midnight or so) and we both had to take a leak REALLY badly. Unfortunately, all the shops were closed (or were closing), and we couldn't get in to use the loo.

So, we went down a small street toward a row of phoneboxes. We both started wizzing to beat all hell, and we hear a loud voice behind us.

"EXCUSE ME. JUST WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the voice said.

"Uh,,...making a phone call?" my friend answered, as a stream of what appeared to be water made its way past him and into the gutter.

"THERE ARE BETTER PLACES FOR YOU TO DO THAT." the voice boomed back. By now several other passers-by had stopped to see what all the commotion was about. Needless to say, we finished up as quickly as possible and grabbed the first available taxi we could find and got home ASAP.

Both my friend and I are US citizens and had legal work visas, and we risked losing our legal status if we got arrested, no matter what the crime. I could just imagine telling everybody why I was home early-- because I got kicked out for pissing in public after being really really drunk. :dunce:

[miss_kitty]

102. I know Earl's Court well

I picked up a lot of those prostitute phone cards there for my collection.

That reminds me of an uproariously hilarious embarrassing moment I had in Soho...:evilgrin:

[NorthernSpy]

97. I especially liked that doggie nipple one

Keep 'em coming, folks!


:kick:

[Dookus]

96. this really cute guy invited me to Senior Prom

and over my mother's objections I went.


We were voted King and Queen, and while getting crowned, some jerks poured a bucket of pig's blood on me.

I got even. Oh yeah, I did.

[greblc]

99. A Neighbor busted a "Romantic" Evening my wife...

and I were having on our deck. It was 3:00am. We thought we were alone.
Ahhh... to be young again.

[LibLover]

109. Senior year high school

I was seeing this guy who was "gifted". We were doing what young couples do and apparently I forgot where I was and got a little loud. I'm not normally loud but, well, he just did everything right.

I was in my neighbor's pool. Without their permission. They were home...

[JimmyJazz]

125. that reminds me of a story I read in Glamour magazine

a couple had a little fun on a picnic table in her yard. A few minutes later, the phone rings and when she answered, she heard a teen aged voice say, "I know who you are and I know what you did." :7

[greblc]

135. I read that one too. (My Wife's)

Young men would be wise to read Glamour and other womens magazines.

[greblc]

134. Ouch! You win!

[MaryBear]

100. Let's just say there was a time

when I didn't realize computer geeks could see everything behind them, reflected in their computer screens, until they had me sit there and try it out. Who knows what all I might have continued doing in what I thought was privacy!

[St. Jarvitude]

103. I declared the Yankees winners of the ALCS

I finished writing a thank-you note to my uncle in Boston the day after the Yankees went up 3-0. At the bottom was the postscript "PS: YANKEES SUCK!!!" Before I put it in the envelope, I said "By the time this gets to Boston, the Yankees will have won the ALCS. Oh well, doesn't change the fact that YANKEES SUCK!!!"

Of course, tonight I get a phone call from my uncle saying "Thanks for the card and thanks for jinxing the Yankees." It's nice to know that I am personally responsible for the fall of the Evil Empire :D

[qnr]

104. I was in Suva, Fiji, giving a tour of our icebreaker to about

80 local residents, when the ship's Executive Officer came on the 1MC (a public address system) and advised everyone to "stop by the physician's assistants office and pick up condoms, because 82% of Fijians have tested positive for sexually transmitted diseases." Unfortunately, almost every Fijian speaks English (it's the common language between those that speak Fijian and those that speak Hindi).

Note that this was many years ago, so I might have the details slighty wrong (i.e., 77% instead of 82%, residents of Suva instead of all Fijians) -- but I assure you I was mortified.

[GingerSnaps]

105. I was at an ironing board party one time

I was chatting with a guy and my back started to itch and he asked me if he could scratch it and I said yes. While he was scratching my back he undid my halter top and as I turned around to talk to a group of people my halter fell on the floor and I was standing in the middle of the room with my blouse off. I had to bend down and pick my halter top up and put it back on which took a long time to tie it back together. I left immediatly afterwards.

[Southpaw Bookworm]

129. What's an ironing board party?

I've never heard that term before.

[Modem Butterfly]

133. I thought you were talking about an IRONY board party

I'm not sure what that would be, but it sounds pretty cool.

[The Zanti Regent]

106. Seventh grade math teacher

I was in Ambridge PA High School and the 7th grade math teacher Rene Foli screamed at me in front of the class for 30 minutes and called me dummy, asshole, moron. I walked out of the class and went to the Principal's office. Then the principal started in.

Left me with a lifetime hatred of unionized school teachers.

[qnr]

107. Um, ok, but what does that have to do with unionized

school teachers? The nuns at the Catholic schools I went to did stuff like that while they were on their coffee break. And lets not bring up yardsticks.

[Mojambo]

108. No one beats this

I once came out of a restaurant bathroom with a long trail of toliet paper stuck to my shoe. I mean REALLY long.

It was the only time I've ever seen something like that happen outside of a movie or TV show, and it happened to me.

No wonder I can't get a date anymore.

[FDRrocks]

112. My portly, suspender-clad HS Psych teacher

once came in the class with about one foot of toilet paper hanging out of the back of his pants.

I am glad I wasn't around when he figured it out.

[FreedomFry]

137. I can actually top that.

I wasn't going to say it, but ... but ... but ...

Use your imagination, and you'll know where MY toilet paper was. Hint: Would that it were only on my shoe. And in front of everyone at Cancun airport. They were laughing at me ... and I thought they were merely being friendly, until some kind soul took pity on me and showed me why they were laughing.

Today, I probably would have laughed right along with the hundreds of people. But back then: Oh, the agony...

[ze_dscherman]

118. After a looong weekend

of partying, making out with a girl as well, and continuing even through sunday night, I had to go to school. For the last two hours, I had English classes, sitting right in front of my teachers desk. He kindly woke me after the second hour (I was good at English).

Also, long time ago, when I was young and `had ver little money, and my now ex-wife pregnant, we were at a maternity clinic. So she kept on rapping about getting some discount to the doctor (which was none of his business), and she just keep yapping, ignoring any stop signal the doctor or I tried to give her. So I gave her a little kick under the table, to get her attention. "WHY ARE YOU KICKING ME?"

Just recently, when I had some discussion with my boss, he told me that I had a booger hanging out of my nose. Big one, by the way.

[bling bling]

119. It was my 2nd day of college

I had stayed up way too late the night before drinking with friends. I don't know how I made it through my morning class. I walked out of class to leave and realized I didn't know where I was or where I parked or even which parking lot I'd left my car. I started walking up and down random aisles of cars, feeling stupid (you can always tell when someone can't find their car). A campus security guy must have witnessed my hapless plight because he pulled up next to me and asked if I needed help. I was mortified as students looked on at the scene. Seeing as how preserving my dignity was no longer an option no matter what I just got in his car. He drove me up and down all the lots until I finally found it.

[Skittles]

120. I worked in a huge NASA-type room with an upper viewing gallery

(the gallery was mostly in use only during the day). Back then we gals had to wear skirts or dresses (can you believe this was in the '90s). I worked long shifts late at night. I absolutely detest pantyhose and this particular night they were itching me like crazy. I put my hand way up inside my skirt trying to scratch/adjust and that's when I noticed about 30 Boy Scouts in the viewing gallery, all looking down directly at me. :o

[Anaxamander]

123. Okay, I'll tell, but y'all have to promise not to tell anyone else

This one was weird. I was walking to my old job at the university library and I was about to cross the street. All of a sudden this bird swoops down close to my head like I pissed it off. So I try to dodge and flail, but when I do, my pants fall down (I wasn't wearing a belt and I had lost weight), so the bird is still dive-bombing me and when I try to run my pants get twisted around my ankles and I fall into the street. I felt like I was in some kind of sketch comedy show.

[Caution]

126. Blowing a 3-0 game lead for the first time in baseball history

Sincerely,
George Steinbrenner
Brian CASHman
Joe Torre
Don Mattingly
Mel Stottlemyre
Derek Jeter
Alex Rodriguez
Bernie Williams
Jorge Posada
Hideki Matsui
Gary Sheffield
Miguel Cairo
Tony Clark
John Olerud
Kenny Lofton
Kevin Brown
Mike Mussina
John Lieber
Javier Vasquez
Orlando Hernandez
Estaban Loaiza
Tom Gordon
Paul Quantrill
Felix Heredia
Tanyon Sturtze
Mariano Rivera
John Flaherty
Ruben Sierra
Bubba Crosby
Enrique Williams

[qnr]

130. Not particularly embarrassing,

Just another first for the Yankees. Life happens :shrug:

Edit: Um, hope I didn't just turn this into another baseball thread - wasn't my intention at all.

[primavera]

131. Once tried to bluff my way...

... through a discussion on Death in Venice for a class I was in and got caught. Evidently it wasn't a murder mystery... who knew?

[FreedomFry]

136. Mine's too embarrassing to recount here, but ...

... it had to do with toilet paper and Cancun airport. Oh, the mortification!