What's the best way to get in good with your SO's family?

[prolesunited]

I'm on vacation next week so it's my turn to go to Ohio. Jason's already met all of my immediate family and they already love him. He sealed the deal with my dad when he made jokes in his hospital room after he just had gotten a pacemaker put in.

So, now I'm nervous about going down there. What's the best way to make a good impression? I've only talked briefly on the phone once with his mother, although she did tell him that I sounded sweet.

So, what's been your experience? What's the worst that could happen? BTW, they're all Dems, thankfully, but his brother and his wife, but I don't think I'll encounter them until Thanksgiving anyway.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. Normal, but not cutesy

I know my parents have always frowned on girls trying to be sweet and wind up looking ditzy. Look independent, yet loving. And otherwise, be yourself.

[chiburb]

2. "What's the best way to get in you with your SO's family?"

I don't get something there... but I do get the gist.

Answer: Just be yourself! Trust that it's enough (WE know that to be true), and if it isn't, at least you were honest.

Good luck!

:-)

[prolesunited]

4. D'oh

I guess I could start by writing a coherent sentence. :silly:

I fixed it. Hopefully, it makes sense now.

[Fenris]

3. Cash and booze!

:7

[prolesunited]

6. So, let me get this straight.

I give them the cash and I drink a lot of booze.

[Fenris]

13. Yep!

:D

:hi:

[tigereye]

26. in my family, not having a few "belts" ( drinks) would scare them

more!

My p's love liberal, smart, relaxed smart-asses and that's why they liked my husband and my sister's ex. My h's parents - hmmm. I think I was a little too liberal and too much a prof. for his dad, but he grew to like me.

From what I can tell about you only from reading your posts, Proles, just be yourself ( you always seem very tolerant and thoughtful) and you should do fine. Hope you have fun.

[Must_B_Free]

5. Call them "you people"

and look with disgust at everything they present you with. It will impress them.

[chiburb]

8. Or, since this is Ohio, "Ma" and "Pa"...n/t

[prolesunited]

9. You know

If it weren't for the disclaimer in your sig line, I might have followed your advice. I do have allergies, though. I hope that's not mistaken for a whiff of disapproval.

[Dookus]

7. be polite and friendly

if you're staying with them, bring a small "hostess gift". Offer to help around the house, or take them out for a nice dinner.

Pretend to like whatever schlocky shit she has around the house.

[prolesunited]

11. Nope

Jason rents a house nearby, so we'll be staying there. I don't think we'll be spending too much time there.

[flamingyouth]

10. Be yourself

They'll love you. Jason's very cool, I'm sure his family will be too. I have no doubt that all will go well. :hi:

[prolesunited]

15. I'm sure that's the case

judging by the stories he's told me.

I am bringing his mom a framed photo of him that I took the other day at the arboretum. I think she'll like that.

[flamingyouth]

20. That's a great idea!

Every mother loves a photo of her kid! :hi:

[bif]

12. Ply them with Krispy Kremes

In Ohio, that'll work wonders

[XNASA]

14. Trust me. You don't wanna get in good with any family.

I'm doing my best to escape my own family completely. Not my immediate family, whom I love dearly, but everyone else can bugger off.

I've done a very credible job staying out of touch with my in-laws and have done so for over 20 years now. And I don't even mind them that much.

My advice it to act smug. Works for me. :hi: :D

[chiburb]

18. Hey! Is that a new avatar you're sportin'?

Looks good, but what is it?

[XNASA]

22. Oh yeah. Thanks for noticing.

It's a 'Crying Radiohead Demon'.

And the new quote is from the Radiohead song, "Electioneering".

I've eliminated the 'Mrs. XNASA' avatar for now. But she may be back after the election, if I am.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

16. Be yourself...

What's not to like? :yourock:

[aden_nak]

17. Fix their computer.

That always works for me.

[JVS]

19. Volunteer to do the dishes. That always wins em over

[prolesunited]

23. Jason mentioned that

Women in the kitchen doing dishes and the menfolk in another room drinking and/or smoking. Certainly not what goes on between us as we both take turns cooking and washing dishes, but I guess I can go along without making a fuss.

[greatauntoftriplets]

21. Another vote for be yourself....

...and have fun. They'll like you.

:)

[Solon]

24. Act nice, be polite...

and LIE, for GODDSAKES LIE, especially about sex and shit, pretend your Amish or something. ;)

[prolesunited]

25. Well, I certainly hope

they don't ask about sex and shit, but we're both well above the age of consent and he's stayed here a number of weeks. I don't imagine they thought it was in separate beds.

[rbnyc]

27. The reason my in-laws love me...

...is because I make their son happy. I have always been myself around them--relaxed, polite, but never hiding who I am or what I think about things. But I think no matter how I were to behave, they would have liked me because they'd never seen their son so happy and directed. I think that if you have a good relationship and are good to each other, it will show and they will appreciate you for it.

Good Luck.

[Phillycat]

28. Bring a little gift?

I always have people selling stuff around the office for their kids' schools, so I am constantly ordering gourmet cookies and crap like that. A nice little food or wine gift would be an icebreaker. People love to get presents.

Other than that, obviously be polite and offer to help with meal preparation and cleanup. They'll immediately say no, but you MUST offer to be polite.

[geniph]

29. Damned if I know

most of my previous boyfriends' families have been horrified by me, and my husband's family is none too fond of me. Don't be me, I guess.

The only advice I can really offer is the same as I'd tell any houseguest: try to adapt your own hours to those of the household (I'm notoriously bad at that), keep the area you're staying in clean, help around the house whenever it makes sense to do so, offer to help with the cost of food, don't expect them to wait on you or entertain you, and adapt your own ways to their house rules. All of which is much easier if you stay in a hotel nearby instead of staying in their house.

[Wat_Tyler]

30. Originally, it was a nightmare.

Her mother had a fit and threw my parents out of her house, nearly ruining our marriage. Since that little explosion, it's been fairly normal, though at a slight distance.

[Downtown Hound]

31. If you can, make them laugh

it always works for me.

[EstimatedProphet]

32. I won my future Mother in law over fast

However, I have a skill that she was floored that any man could ever have: I can cook. She was so impressed by that that she had the whole family over (half of Youngstown OH) to have me make gumbo for them.

[jonnyblitz]

33. i think you worry too much.

just be yourself. I met you once so I know you are endearing and sweet and I am sure they will see that too since that is the vibe you emit. sorry to be so hokey but it's true. stop worrying.

[prolesunited]

34. I *know* I worry too much

Thanks for your kind words.

Do you realize that it's been just about a year already? I was thinking about that the other day. That sure was an awesome weekend. :-)