The war for Kentucky - A cure for Indiana’s ills(pre-emptive satire alert)

[Ouabache]

Link to full article>>
http://www.nuvo.net/archive/2003/09/10/the_war_for_kentucky.html

A cure for Indiana’s ills –by Steve Hammer at Nuvo Newspaper

excerpts:>>
Make no mistake, the State of Indiana is in crisis. Our schools are in bad shape, our infrastructure is crumbling and nobody seems to have any proposals for dealing with it. Our candidates for governor have been run out of Washington for incompetence (Mitch Daniels) and we don’t have any movie stars to seek office except Claude Akins and Florence Henderson...
The only way we can solve our fiscal problems is to invade and conquer, or, if you prefer, annex, our neighbor to the south, Kentucky. ...Such a war would be relatively easy to provoke today. All we’d probably have to do is drop leaflets across the state saying that Tennessee made an obscene comment about Miss Kentucky. Since the state’s beauty pageant winners are a chief source of local pride, many able-bodied people would head to the Tennessee border to defend Kentucky’s honor... With the state divided, our tanks could roll down Muhammad Ali Boulevard and capture Louisville for the heroic Indiana forces...
...Remember, Kentucky is not actually a state. It’s a commonwealth, an archaic legal term for "state full of slack-jawed yokels." ...If we really need to have a legal reason to invade, we can always claim that Kentucky is hoarding weapons of mass destruction that could be aimed at Indiana at any time. It’s worked before. <<end excerpts

>>more at link, hilarious

Link to full article>>
http://www.nuvo.net/archive/2003/09/10/the_war_for_kentucky.html

This is great satire, you have to read the entire thing.
A little hard on Kentucky, but they will get over it.

[JitterbugPerfume]

1. sinookas, you know full well

that if they took all of the Kentuckians out of our home town ,there would be no one left !

[yellowdog]

2. When I used to work on

the Crane Naval Weapon Support Center a bunch of us guys were telling Kentucky jokes when a truck driver from Bowling Green asked us what was black and blue and floated in the Ohio River. A Hoosier that has told one too many Kentucky jokes. Since he was very large discretion became the better part of valor.