My Ashlee Simpson commercial

[derby378]

Ashlee Simpson appears on camera wearing a T-shirt and low-rider jeans. She's slowly gyrating while hanging on to an aluminum walking cane.

Voiceover:
Yeah, you like it
I can't sing it
Because I've got
Acid reflux

Ashlee: I suffer from gastrointestinal problems like so many teenagers and young adults today, but I'm no different from the rest of you.

Shot of Ashlee bending over while dancing, revealing an adult diaper instead of a thong

Ashlee (holding up box of product): That's why I take Nexium, sonny. Nexium relieves the heartburn and heals the damage caused by acid reflux.

Or, at least, that's what her MOUTH is saying. What you actually hear is:

That's why I take Nexium, sonny. Nexium es para las personas que sufren de acidez frecuente y persistente más de dos veces a la semana.

Ashlee gets visibly frustrated and throws the cane aside

DAD! You cued the wrong friggin' tape again!

Mr. Simpson (off-camera): D'oh!

Shot of Ashlee dancing the hoedown dance she performed on SNL, then grabbing her hip in pain

-----

OK, folks - do you think I have a shot on Madison Avenue?

[Bill McBlueState]

1. snl

You know, I don't think SNL is edgy enough to do this, but I'd die laughing if they did a fake commercial like that. Ger her back for f***ing up their show.

[derby378]

2. If SNL doesn't do it, MAD TV should (n/t)

[President Jesus]

3. Boycott "Stepford Rock"

[derby378]

4. I like that term!

While other bands struggle to get by, the Stepford Singers make millions. Sheesh.