Men...why do you do this?

[WindRavenX]

So I meet wicked awesome guy at one of the BC Democrats meetins. We hang out and talk, and he's 3-3:
1. Wicked liberal
2. Yankees fan
3. Wants to be a teacher (as do I)
Seems to like my company, made plans to see a movie, and THEN thanks to thefacebook.com, I find out he's in a relationship.
WHY THE CRAP DIDN'T HE SAY THIS???
GODDAMMIT.:argh:
Hopes shot to hell...:cry:

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. He was probably looking to have sexual relations with you.

And didn't want to tell you he was in a relationship, lest that opportunity pass him by.

[trotsky]

9. Whoa, does that happen much?

;-)

[necso]

48. Aw, come on now,

he is probably just interested in some hugs... or one of those long term relationship thingies, with lots of long talks and hand holding (I believe that it is called "courtship") -- and with marriage almost certainly to follow (before sexual congress, of course).

After all, he is a liberal.

I am simply shocked at your suggestion. Shocked!

This is some innocent misunderstanding, of that I am confident.

[eyesroll]

2. Is thefacebook.com reliable?

How old is the information? Are you sure it's the same guy or just one with the same name?

[SOteric]

59. These are the questions I would ask.

In addition, if I heard from the fellow again, I'd want to ask him directly, preferably in person (body language is such a good indicator of the genuine), about the information I'd collected.

Remember that in the course of relationships things have a way of changing rather suddenly. I think if I'd discovered that a lover was unfaithful, alerting online directories of my change in status would be the last thing on my mind.

[PSU84]

3. IS or WAS?

Are you free Saturday nite?

[WindRavenX]

5. IS

As in, Relationship status: in a relationship.
This was posted TODAY peeps. This ain't old info.
GRRRAAAAH!!!!

[PSU84]

10. Maybe YOU are the relationship.

Which brings up another set of issues...

[WindRavenX]

13. ....

......that'd be disturbing.

[PSU84]

16. Well, I'm free Saturday night.

Of course, I'm old enough to be your . . . older brother - but I won't hold that against you! ;)

[jukes]

32. ??????

if he's extroplolating, cd the 'ship be you?

[lightbulb]

4. He's probably not totally happy in the relationship

And is feeling torn. Such things tend to make us act irrationally, men and women both, don't cha know.

[Beware the Beast Man]

6. Sadly people (not just men) do this all the time.

I'm guessing it's a "thrill of the hunt" type thing. And it's complete BS. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[tsakshaug]

7. I see 2 problems

1. Yankee fan
2. BC fan

I always expect them to be low lifes

[WindRavenX]

11. Ouch

just OUCH dude.

[Bill McBlueState]

8. You should retitle your post:

"Yankees fans: Why do you do this?"

He probably got his sense of morals by watching A-Rod.

:7

[redqueen]

12. Who cares?

Just move on to the next one... if you're not one to creep, then don't waste another minute of your time on him.

[WindRavenX]

14. it doesn't add up

That's all. You'd have THOUGHT he'd drop something to tell me not to keep hanging out with him...

[redqueen]

15. Not if he's looking to creep around.

Some people do that, y'know. And most of them think nothing of NOT telling their 'on the side' person that they're just for on the side.

[Robroy]

18. On the side?

Has it been moved? It has been a while.

[redqueen]

23. It's one of those newfangled things all the kids are into...

I only know about it from those magazines. Which I get for the articles. Really. :P

[GingerSnaps]

25. I had that happen to me

The jerk thought that I would never figure it out but i did. The worse part is he believed his own lies and he thought that they would work. The only problem is that he wasn't worth the effort or the time and he wasn't good enough looking to say hey I will play along with his BS.

[redqueen]

26. Well it does happen a lot.

And not just to women. And just think how much more guys risk by going out with a woman who's spoken for. Not many women will kick the other woman's ass...

[Terran]

17. I wouldn't rely on something you see on the Net

He might have posted that entry a long time ago and his circumstances have since changed. Isn't it better to just ask him up front anyway?

[WindRavenX]

19. as posted

It's recent. As in, TODAY recent :)
I'll just ask. I feel like an ass though...

[Maestro]

20. Not all men do this -eom

[WindRavenX]

21. mea culpa...

I'm just in a bit of a pissy mood.

[dave123williams]

22. Maybe he's looking to trade up?

[miss_kitty]

24. That just happened to me

a guy flirting with me all over the place for days-then I finally flirt back-The GF that was never mentioned to me and of whom I never knew, catches wind of it and I'M SHIT ON A STICK! :shrug:

Moral is: lucky you found out NOW! I pity the person this amoral asshat is 'committed' to. I know it stings, but just think how you'd feel if it went further. Or if you were HER. Sorry.:hug:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

52. Happened to me in grad school

one summer.

The director of the summer chorus started paying a lot of attention to me and asking me out and seeing me nearly every day.

Then a weekend came when Loverboy didn't call. My roommate and I decided to go to the graduate student club, which had an outdoor patio. We got our drinks and went outside, only to find Loverboy and his usual gang of friends--and a young woman I had never seen before.

It was his steady girlfriend from out of town. :grr:

He was completely flustered and acted like an incoherent idiot as my roommate and I sat down at his table. I just glared at him over my drink without saying anything.

[miss_kitty]

54. You know I would have walked up to him and said

"What happened to our date? Is this your sister? Please, introduce us" He got off easy. you were too nice :)

[JimmyJazz]

53. I'm so sorry to hear that dear. People who flirt outrageously

should understand the consequences of their actions. Feelings are likely to get hurt, especially when they do it within "earshot" of the GF.

:hug:

[miss_kitty]

56. you know

some guys are assholes. I consider myself extremely lucky. He's a self-professed asshole too. I find that, generally speaking, when someone tells you something like that, that is the ONLY truth they are likely to tell you. So my flirting back had nothing to back it up. I was having a giggle. He had already told me what I needed to know. The fact that he had a GF all along, proved his claim. She's very welcome to him. Plus, he's whipped. :D

[JimmyJazz]

57. I think I know what you mean....I've seen some of that myself

on occasssion. Especially the "whipped" part. Why don't you just stick a finger up each nostril and drag him with you... :7

[GingerSnaps]

27. Question for you?

Was he good looking? I don't mean to bring up looks because that is the last thing on my list when I date someone. I dated this one man one time that wanted me to marry him but the problem was that he was already married and he had a bunch of kids. I went out with him because he seemed like a nice guy but he wasn't good looking or anything. He even rented an apartment so that I would think that he was single. It seems that I only run into assholes and they haven't been that attractive. I went for their personality only and my friends would ask me about why I would go out with someone that wasn't good looking. Were you attracted to his personality or looks?

[sir_captain]

28. How is this at all relevant?

[redqueen]

29. Yeah

I was wondering that too... if they guy who rented the apartment for every girl he could talk into fooling around with him into visiting wasn't that good looking, then where was that train of thought heading?

[GingerSnaps]

31. It was cheaper then a hotel room

The way that I found out that he was married is he gave me an old cell phone of his that I could put money on and use. He forgot to delete all of his saved phone numbers including his wifes number at work.

[GingerSnaps]

30. It's not

I'm down with the flu and I was curious because the only time (twice) that I have been screwed around is by men that I went out with because of a mental attraction and not a physical attraction. I was just curious and I feel kind of stupid now but my flu meds are kicking in.

[WindRavenX]

35. personality

He was cute in my book, but the thing about him is that he's so liberal, LOVES baseball, and shares a joy of teaching. 3-3. And I thought there was major chemistry between us...:shrug:

[drdtroit]

39. Perhaps he enjoys your friendship and conversation

and being that he is involved does not intend to move to the level of an intimate relationship.

I have a few female friends that I enjoy dinner or a movie with and it doesn't mean we will ultimately be intimate. :-)

[WindRavenX]

42. *whiny voice* but I wanna be more than friends...

So poo to you my good friend :P

[drdtroit]

44. Sorry

:(

[the Princess]

47. There are all kinds of friendships that men and women can have.

[the Princess]

33. Could be

He is in an open relationship - or they are not committed. It could be any number of reasons why men do this. But women do this too. One person may not be enough for some - it's personal choice. IMHO

[geniph]

34. Not all relationships are monogamous, you know

some are non-monogamous by mutual consent.

[miss_kitty]

40. Well IMHO, that needs to be mentioned straight away.

Open all the way around.
And when I'VE gotten that li(n)e, I ALWAYS insist upon checking in w/ the 'Mrs' as it were.
You'd have no idea how many women are unaware they are in an open, 'non-monogamous by mutual consent' relationships. "She'd rather not know, but it's OK" Uh huh. Any bridges in Brooklyn you'd like to sell me while you're at it?

[the Princess]

45. Actually - that may not be a lie

Some people in open relationships allow their spouses to have fun outside the marriage - but they have no need to do so - so they don't want details. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. What two people agree to in their relationship is their buisiness and these *wives* you mentioned may know hubby is *stepping out* but don't want to know with who or where or when. It works fine that way for them. So these guys may not be handing you a line - it may be the truth and you *checking* with the wife may be hurtful to her. I've seen this before and usually the wife or husband doesn't want to know. I say no harm no foul. People live all kinds of ways in relationships. I say whatever floats your boat. JMO

[redqueen]

46. I was going to say this, too

I know a couple of people like that. They know, but they don't want their nose rubbed in it.

[miss_kitty]

49. Oh, I totally agree with you on that

Anything is possible. I guess I've been lied to and cheated upon and seen it too many times to believe that particular story.

And I could see not wanting the details but saying "Look, it's OK." If I were of that mindset, I would not want the details. People will do what they do and there is no way to truly control anyone but one's self. :)

On Edit: that said-if someone IS in that kind of relationship and is looking around, it is incumbent upon the looker to inform the lookee at the outset as to the condition of any standing relationship, so hopes aren't raised, only to be dashed.

[the Princess]

50. Exactly

But I do agree honesty at the get-go would be nice But from my experiences men have a hard time telling the truth - especially when all the blood has drained from their head. LOLOL It doesn't make them bad people - it just makes them human. JMO

[miss_kitty]

51. "...when all the blood has drained from their head..."

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[jukes]

36. humbly

sugg you change honorific in title to
"folks"...

[WindRavenX]

38. I tried...

..."time expired" :wtf:
Sorry...I realize not all men do this...all people do it..
Again, mea culpa :hi:

[Skittles]

37. uh, he's an asshole?

nt

[Seabiscuit]

41. Sounds like a freeper who just told you sensed you out,

then told you what you wanted to hear. Sounds like a lowlife phony to me.

[TheBlackSteeds]

43. Just to keep you ladies on your toes

That, and it's in our required quota to be an asshole on occasion--even the best of us. Sorry, those are the rules.

[Zayin]

55. Pretty much true

[NoPasaran]

58. Because we're pigs

In case you hadn't heard.

[samplegirl]

60. Lucky you

that u didnt end up with the Liar!!!!!