Stewie Griffin's best line ever?

[russian33]

"Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that."

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

1. As for you, kind sage, I only hope my heartfelt thanks will keep you warm

as you spend the next ten years IN FROZEN CARBONITE!!!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

2. lmao, i love Stewie.

[Arkana]

3. "You know, mother....

...with some Nilla wafers this could pass as a palatable banana pudding, but without them it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions."

*throws bowl to floor*

"Now clean it up!"

[Magrittes Pipe]

8. Seconded.

[ixion]

4. "And no pickles...

Oh, God help you if I find pickles. For every pickle I find, I will kill you."

That's just one, but there are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many!

Stewie Rocks!

[chicagojoe]

5. Flappy good news! I've decided not to kill you!

[shaolinmonkey]

6. "BLAST!"

[Richardo]

7. ...and "Ba-ZING!"

[ixion]

9. "What the Deuce?"

a blast from the past.

[Yavin4]

10. It's Not That I Want Her Dead

It's just that I don't want her alive any more.

[Rob H.]

11. Stewie's the reason I watch "Family Guy"!

Pick just one? Impossible! Here are some of my faves...

Janet: Hi. Cookie?
Stewie: Well, it's Stewie, but... you can call me "cookie" if you like. Yes, I also answer to "Artemis, " "Agent Buckwald" and "Snake." Yes, I rather like "Snake." Snake Griffin. (wiggles his tongue like a snake)


Mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.


When Peter's trying to potty-train Stewie:
Peter: Maybe you don't have to pee. I'll just give you some beer, it'll run right through you.
Stewie: Beautiful. And while we're at it we can light up a doobie and watch porn.
Peter: (pauses, wide-eyed) Rea... Really?


After Lois tries to feed Stewie his broccoli "airplane style": Damn you, damn the broccoli, and damn the Wright Brothers!

Stewie trying to call home: Hello, operator. Hello... Oh God, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes. (starts dialing) 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it--damn you, Tommy Two-Tone! Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112. Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...


At Brian's mother's funeral: Yea and God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son Issac." And Abraham said, "I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." And God said, "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."

[mac56]

12. My favorite

Lois: Come on Stewie, you know you can't leave the table until you finish your vegetables.
Stewie: Well, then I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you've got a good forty years on me, woman.
Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane ...
Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers.

[Huckebein the Raven]

13. When Stewie and Brian go into the hash bar in

Amsterdam:

"I think the reason people die is because they accept inevitability of it"

-that whole scene is hilarious

and

"Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb."

[Cush]

14. "How positively delightful! It's as if someone stabbed Mr Bubble!"

[BigMcLargehuge]

15. Click click, bloody, click PANCAKES!!!!

that's my favorite line

[Rob H.]

17. LOL, forgot that one

Classic!

[ThePittsburghKid]

19. My favorite is from that episode:

"Oh, yes, I love crack. I'm absolutely coo-coo for crack!"

[Cush]

16. "How deliciously white trash! Mommy, I want a mullet!"

[Modem Butterfly]

18. While demanding a diaper change

"You will clean my crev-AS and be damn glad for the opportunity!"

[TheBlackSteeds]

20. "I smell a messy diaper ........ god, why does THAT turn me on?!"

give or take a word..