Do sexually uninhibited women 'set back' the women's / feminist movement?

[redqueen]

I say no. What say you?

[tsakshaug]

1. ask

My ex-wife

[Phillycat]

2. How would that even work?

[redqueen]

4. Search me!

On another board I'm on, someone said it was the "Girls Gone Wild" behavior that sets back the women's movement.

I think that's a load. I think if we all flashed our tits more they'd be less able to call us sluts for doing it.

They're our tits, dammit.

[Phillycat]

11. I've never flashed my tits, but

I like sex, I want sex all the time, and I match my BF urge for urge. I would imagine that's more "feminist" (whatever the hell that word means anymore) than lying around waiting for him to want some and then passively "receiving" it.

[redqueen]

14. Well I used to like flashing my tits

I think it's good... there should be more tits. The obsession with tits in this country will only be reduced by massive amounts of tit-exposure, IMO.

[Phillycat]

17. All righty then! More tits for everyone!

I like my ass better than my tits--mind if I flash that instead?

[redqueen]

18. Heck, no!

Flash away!

:evilgrin:

[Worst Username Ever]

21. Yes I think you should both work on more tit flashing. n/t

[Peter1x9]

26. I agree.

And i'd sure like to find a sexually uninhibited woman in real life.

:evilgrin:

[Phillycat]

32. I'll tell you something.

I didn't get totally uninhibited until I met my BF. Here's how he did it:

1. He told me I was beautiful, sexy, hot, etc so many times, I started to believe it.
2. He worshipped my body--spent long minutes on every new piece of uncovered flesh as he undressed me.
3. Would pleasure me orally 24 hours a day if I'd let him.
4. Told me I'm the best sex he's ever had over and over again. I don't know if this is true, but I'm convinced anyway. :)

[NewJeffCT]

39. be careful what you wish for

Be careful what you wish for - you may get it.

My ex-wife was quite sexually uninhibited (and, she showed her rather large tits in public on more than 1 occasion, FYI)and had such a high octane sex drive that I, as a red-blooded heterosexual male, sometimes had trouble keeping up with her. It actually led to some disagreements and me often looking for a new job with less demanding hours...which I never really found.

Unfortunately, right after marriage we ran into some very bad luck and it was like somebody flipped a switch on her - from aggressive sex machine to nun.

[plcdude]

30. send

flashing pics to my pm you too Janesez

[tigereye]

71. in the group house I used to live in

the women used to vote on whether we should be able to go topless... the guys had mixed feelings about it. We compromised by going shirtless on the roof a few times. Ah, the old radical days ( well for me the 80s.)

[plcdude]

31. How did

your doctor visit go?

[redqueen]

33. That's at 3:00

so I'll be leaving shortly. Thanks. :)

[plcdude]

50. good luck and may

the news be what you want.

[NewJeffCT]

44. my guess on GGW

My guess that on things like 'Girls Gone Wild', Britney & Madonna kissing, Janet Jackson's breast, etc, is that when some more conservative minds see something like that, it causes them to retreat further into their less open mindset in a reactionary move. Somebody that is in the middle of the road on this issue might think GGW is a bit too much for them.

Just my guess, and I do not agree.

[Logansquare]

53. How is flashing your tits equal lack of sexual inhibition?

I don't get that equation either.

[Phillycat]

55. I don't really know.

But I do know that if a woman wants to do that, she should have every right to!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

61. Ok, they aren't sexually uninhibited...

They are allowing men to oggle them and treat them as objects, so yes THEY do set back the women's movement...but a slut, like myself, no. I don't set it back. I know what I want and I take it.
Duckie

[AIJ Alom]

3. heck no. Sexually uninhibited men have dominated the world thus far.

Pathetic double standard.

[redqueen]

5. Thank you!

[skypilot]

10. And they've done a knock-up job.

Pun intended.:)

[Magrittes Pipe]

6. Yes.

Here in Stepford, everything is perfect just as it is.

[redqueen]

8. hehehehehehehehe

Thanks. :D

[Worst Username Ever]

7. I think it is the exact opposite.

Those who believe chastity is virtuous have the attitude of the victorian era. As women are closing the income and other societal discrepancies to their male counterparts, I believe an increase in sexual freedom is a side effect. I'm not complaining. :evilgrin:

[redqueen]

9. YES!

EXACTLY!!!!

[CanuckAmok]

16. perhaps your uninhibited nature needs some restaint...

OOOPS! Wrong board!

[redqueen]

19. You evil tease, you!

I like! I like!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

12. They set me back to the garden of eden

:evilgrin:

[tigereye]

73. aw that's cute chavez

you are such a sweetie. Jose' is very lucky.

[NewJeffCT]

13. nope, not at all

I think women that are sexually uninhibited seem a lot more self-confident.

Heck, I think if women around the world were sexually uninhibited, the world we be a much happier place.

[redqueen]

20. I'm just sick of hearing even supposedly liberal minded people

imply that being sexual is a shameful thing. As long as WOMEN (not men) are controlled that way, how do they EVER expect equality?

[SarahB]

15. For myself, the more confident I feel as a woman in general....

the less sexually inhibited I feel. It has been when I feel forced into to certain narrowly defined modes in other ways that I have felt less free sexually. I think men who are Feminists themselves are able to fully appreciate a woman who is comfortable and secure with her sexual self also.

[redqueen]

22. I've noticed that same thing.

It's like some women are nearly ashamed of their sexuality. It's sad.

[MissMillie]

23. It's not the lack of inhibitions that cause the problems

It's more the thought that a woman's sexual appetites and habits are anybody's business but her and her partner(s).

[redqueen]

24. But if a woman feels like being open about it...

how does that negatively impact the women's movement?

[MissMillie]

46. Just my opinion

I think when women define themselves as little else than sexual creatures, it hurts the women's movement. This does not mean that I that all women who are sexually uninhibited are guilty of defining themselves simply as sexual beings.

I think people (men and women) who constantly talk about their sex lives and/or sexual conquests, or fantasies, etc. are boorish.

I don't think being as crass as (some) men is the goal of the women's movement.

I think we're entitled to our sexual freedom. But I think that linking our private lives to our public lives puts the focus on the wrong things.

It's one thing to be open about your sexual identity. If someone wants to be openly gay, I think that's great.

I guess I just wonder what is the purpose of being open about your sexual appetites with people who don't know much about you. Friends are one thing, for they are not likely to see you only as a sexual being (they are likely to know about your family, your job, your hobbies, etc). But sharing with your friends maintains some level of privacy (if your friends are discreet).

(I've used the term "you" here, but please know that I was just using "you" as a hypothetical. I do not wish to intimate that this subject is about you at all.)

[Beer Snob-50]

25. The women's movement is predictated on the idea that

women are equal to men. Women cannot be equal to men if they cannot be equal in all arenas including the sexual arena.

Thus all liberated women, show us your tits!!

[redqueen]

27. Guys....

:P

Can't blame you for tryin'!

[Beer Snob-50]

28. I thought it was pretty good!!

;-)

[MissMillie]

48. sorry jfetoe

but being liberated means I don't have to show you my tits.

[Beer Snob-50]

49. didn't say you had to...

i said you have the right to.

[geniph]

29. No

and so long as sexual terms are used to insult women ("slut" "whore" "tramp" and the like), men will be able to keep women in their place. We need to reclaim those terms and wear them proudly.

Then again, anyone other than a friend who calls me a slut to my face is gonna need a closed casket.

It bothers holy hell out of me that men are insulted for their ideas or actions, but if one wants to truly insult a woman, one attacks her appearance or her sexuality. The day that changes will be the day we're truly equal. But it will never happen until men stop fearing women's greater sexual capacity.

[redqueen]

That's exactly what I think

Those terms should be embraced... when we react as if they're negative we give them power over us and our sexuality.

[LibLover]

51. negative terms

What is a slut? To me a slut is the girl who "gives it up" to make her boyfriends happy and not for her own enjoyment. I like sex and I actively seek sexual partners for our mutual enjoyment. I am not a slut. I just really enjoy sex.

[the Princess]

34. How could that be????????

Sexually uninhibited women are obviously liberated from guilt and shame - and that is a GOOD thing. At least I think so - as I include myself in that group of uninhibited ladies.

[redqueen]

36. YES!

EXACTLY!!!!

[CO Liberal]

56. I Agree!!!!

:loveya:

[Pithlet]

35. There is a difference

between a sexually uninhibited woman, and a drunk woman who is prompted to show her titties so a man can get rich selling the videos. I understand what you're saying as far as more tittie exposure, but it has to be exposure that isn't exploitative. I see nothing wrong with being sexually uninhibited. A million feminists marching bare breasted would do a lot more to further the feminist cause than the Girls Gone Wild videos. I will join the former, gladly.

I said no to your poll, obviously.

[redqueen]

37. Good point.

Still... I think even drunken partying shouldn't be blamed for holding back the women's movement.

I'd do either. :evilgrin:

[Pithlet]

38. Oh, absolutely not

As someone who has participated in drunken partying more than once, I concur :)

[aden_nak]

40. No! And all such women should contact me personally to discuss it.

[redqueen]

41. Guys!

Gotta love 'em! :P

[aden_nak]

47. *looks around his room* Someone should let everyone else know that.

[realisticphish]

72. i feel for you, brother nt

[Wat_Tyler]

42. Yes. Inhibitions will set you free!

[redqueen]

43. Best. Response. Ever.

:yourock:

:loveya:

[Wat_Tyler]

45. Athangew.

I have my moments.

[Yavin4]

52. Sexually Uninhibited Women Are A Sign of Empowerment

Women have the right to be whatever their hearts desire. Repressing a woman's sexuality is a hallmark of an oppressive, patriarchial society, which also probably means a totalitarian government.

Feminism is all about treating women as human beings, and some human beings are hornier than others.

[Nikia]

54. The problem is that's not how many men see it

Yes, it would be great if men saw a sexually uninhibited woman as a statement that women enjoy sex too and that her sexuality is as important as their own. Unfortunately, that's not usually what happens. I live in a less enlightened area as far as feminism goes (rural Wisconsin) and know this firsthand. There are a great deal of men who see women mainly in terms of her sexuality. They don't see talented female athletes at the Olympics, they don't see competent female coworkers, they don't see talented female muscians and actresses, they don't see helpful female service people who they encounter at restaurants and stores. They see hot or ugly women, women who they would like to have sex with or women who they wouldn't want to have sex with. I don't know what the solution is since many men see women mainly as sexual even when we are trying not to be. I don't think that presenting oneself mainly as a sexual being would be positive for the women's movement.
I am not a prude. I just don't like being seen mainly in terms of my "fuckability" by the general male population.

[the Princess]

58. Nikia - you need to move.

And another point - being liberated also means (IMHO) not giving a flying FUCK what small minded little dicked idiots think of your sexuality and how you choose to express it. There are so many good men out there who *get it* - this small minority of yokals don't mean a whit in the grand scheme of things.

Go - have fun - let them say what they will - they will anyway. :)

[bloom]

64. unfortunately...

I've seen that sentiment expressed around here (I'm referring to DU*) as well.



(* in reference to the candidates daughters, for instance).

[Pithlet]

68. Exactly.

That is why it bothers so many when those threads pop up. The response is usually "But it's okay to look. There's nothing wrong with that. Jeeze, calm down". Which completely misses the point.

[bettyellen]

78. get outta there and free yourself!!

I feel for you out there with these men who don't have much to do with women except judging them over that one thing. But most men do judge us over that one thing, they just hide it better because they want out of the provinces. Because face it, we judge them and hide it well ourselves. In a smalll town it can be pretty oppressive, if you're single and have a decent sex life, you could be the only thing worth talking about!! So then you get all the men you stopped sleeping with talking with the ones you turned down, and well, it can get ugly. I'm from NYC, and there are corners there where people live in there dumb little world. People used to make fun of me for wanting to go to manhattan and do stuff instead of hanging out and freebasing and watching cable.

Guys feel justified because when they live the old school scenario and they are picking up the tab. And any woman that expects them to, can't expect any better from a man.

You just gotta get to someplace where you can pay your own way, and men are a little more used to keeping mixed company. Then you'll like men more and you'll want to be slutty and no one has the power to judge you poorly. Some guys, they'd like to move in a wider circle than hooters or the parking lot of the 7-11. You gotta get out of there, the culture of being an asshole is too great. Anyone interesting is baling out to find something better, and you should too. Don't go back until you have had your fun, grown a strong spine and won't let anyone stop you from going after what you want.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

57. no

there really is no correlation between the number of people i sleep with and my rights over my body, my job opportunities etc.

[Iris]

59. Depends on what makes them uninhibited.

If they are doing it of their own free will and are not being coerced by society, the media, whatever, then fine.

[patcox2]

60. Beware the petty rebellions of a slave.

Some forms of rebellion aren't freedom, they only reinforce the system.

Those who are enslaved, whether by victorian prudery, or literal chattel slavery, often cope through petty rebellion. Slaves did it through humor, feigned incompetence, complaining among themselves. Likewise women with abusive, exploitative bosses, or abusive husbands, often joke about or complain about their abuser. But then they go to work or go home and submit to the abuse. That is the petty rebellion of a slave, small, symbolic acts of rebellion that are a comfort to them, but are also a part of their chains, because this petty rebellion allows them to rationalize and continue to submit. Through petty rebellion they become complicit in their own slavery.

Think about it this way; you have to buy into the victorian prudery in order to think there is anything at all remarkable about flashing your tits or having sex with lots of people. If I ask you why its cool to show your tits or fuck multiple partners," and you answer "because it shows I am free from victorian prudishness," then you are still allowing victorian prudishness to define you. It is fundamentally a reactionary posture and admits the premise of what it is opposed to. True freedom would be to step completely outside the duality and feel no need to be either chaste or uninhibited, to be neither naked nor clothed.

"Girls gone wild" tit flashing seems to me to be a petty rebellion. It only emphasizes the fact that in our society, the female body is so feared that the law mandates you cover it. It may feel "empowering" on some level, but when the "empowered" flasher is really just going down the road, will eventually find a man to marry and "settle down" and he will have a career, and she will tend the children, then its just petty rebellion that is actually just part of the slavery.

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

62. People should get over both sides of this argument.

How about more nude beaches, real adult films that deal seriously with sexuality, erotic entertainment elevated to an art form, and an accepted community of devotees for most sexual "kinks" (short of the really harmful ones)? If a woman is aroused by exposing herself there is a time and place for it--when she is around others who want to participate in her fantasy. I don't see how her behavior hurts any "movement".

[bloodyjack]

63. whoa. echo chamber.

if you will, let's look at it this way.

who or what defines these 'inhibitions' or lack thereof, and by whose standards is one 'uninhibited'?

if males are sluts, or loose, or whatever, and define sluttiness or promiscuity by the range of their limited experience, direct or indirect--and impose this definition upon females (who, in a more forward-thinking society, would not have to suffer repression of appetite), who evaluate the consequences of their actions by the criteria for 'sluttiness' that has been provided by MALES in the first place--then isn't a female's standard thereby convoluted/corrupted?

and what on earth is equality? equality of job opportunity and salary, that's very clear. equality of the household, equally clear. but a leveling of the sexual playing field? how can there be sexual equality when there exists such an 'income gap' in the sexual economy? when needs and appetites vary individually and, on a broader spectrum, biologically? well I suppose everyone has the natural right to expose himself or herself in public, damn it!

is sexual liberation even a possibility on either side of the tracks? sadly, no. sexual liberation is a fraud, pure bullshit. never happened, I tell you. what emerged, instead, was merely a new exciting (perhaps SEXciting) variety of seduction--and perhaps we will one day grow bored with it, and move on.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

65. if that were true

how do you explain sexual liberation amongst lesbians?

[bloodyjack]

66. how is sexual liberation even possible

if everyone in this 'sexual system' is not equally attractive?

are there no outliers? can a person lie with whomever the hell (s)he feels like at the time? why do I approach and try to bed a particular person? why must another person whom I find unattractive face rejection?

maybe this sexual liberation stuff is just way over my head.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

67. maybe you define sexual liberation differently

[patcox2]

69. We started with "inhibition" and now its "liberation "

I would think "inhibition" is more a psychological problem, even it is one imposed by societal pressures, to me it refers to when someone wants to be more free but cannot. Liberation is the desire to be free, the recognition of the bonds and willingness to break out of them. But just what should "freedom" mean when it comes to sex is I think up to each individual.

In any event, as I post above, I think that some forms of behavior which some people seem to feel are liberating or uninhibited are actually just reactive postures, reacting to the old mores in a way that actually validates them. True freedom is not in reacting against victorian inhibition and chastity by going to the opposite extreme, it would be in stepping entirely outside of that false dichotomy.

[bloodyjack]

70. also

lesbians, for their putative lack of 'inhibitions', do not generate and do not exist in a vacuum. your worldview, my worldview, the casual reader's worldview are all informed by historical trends and the prevailing moral guidelines of the day. this is why perhaps 400 years ago if they had the internet people wouldn't be chiming in, one after the other, on this thread to say there's nothing wrong with flashing people in public. we would all be looking at this a LOT differently.

[Nikia]

74. Perhaps, that's part of the problem

Men (and I suppose lesbians) are more excited by a professional stripper or model being sexually uninhibited than say my 50 year old 300 pound+ pear shaped coworker. They might even be upset that my coworker was behaving this way even though they'd be glad about the model acting that way.

[JanMichael]

75. Not the married ones that are unhibited with their husbands

or wives.

[realisticphish]

76. as a male

the problem with women treated as sexual objects has NOTHING to do with what they do. The problem is how we (males) behave.

Now, I think everyone accepts that it is impossible to stop natural urges, i.e., look at an attractive person. Every (heterosexual) guy who has existed, and all that will exist, has looked at or will look at an attractive woman, and think "gosh, she's attractive". or something to that effect. The issue is whether that is the only criteria for judging a woman's qualities.

Basically, it's up to us to deliberately look beyond appearence, and see the multitude of other qualities women can have. A woman flashing might grab our attention faster, and certain clothes might grab attention faster, but if a person is attractive to a particular guy, they will be looked at, regardless of their state of dress. as i said, the ONLY variable is how our minds think, and the only way to truly change things is on a personal leval in every guy.

of course, im only speaking for me here

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Kat45]

77. No, we don't.

:-)