Dealing with balding.

[MissouriTeacher]

*sigh*

How depressing. I'm 26 years old and my genetics are conspiring against me. Both my grandfathers were bald (not completely but almost), and now I must face the fact that my hairline is receding and the hair on the top of my head is thinning to the point where it's getting noticeable.

This has been going on for a while now, but I've had the advantage of having really thick hair making less seems like more. But I just looked at the back of my head in the mirror (something I do about once every two years) and I can see my scalp through my hair.

I've never thought going bald was such a big deal until it started happening to me. Seeing other men bald was never a big deal, I never thought it looked bad on them. It's just a normal part of life, so I thought, but when it's your own hair it's a different story.

I am married, and while I know my wife is not so shallow as to have it affect our marriage. I still worry that part of her might be less attracted to me because of it.

I don't mean for this thread to be so serious. I am trying to have a sense of humor about it. I guess I'm just looking for some fellow balding people to "fellowship" with. :D

[demnan]

1. Sean Connory, Patrick Stuart, Yul Brenner

Bald men can be incredibly sexy.


on edit: I got so excited I missplelled some names there.

[MissouriTeacher]

2. Yeah, but I'm 26!!!

Those guys are sexy in a an older man type of way. :)

[DemocratSinceBirth]

33. Sean Connery Wears A Toupe

and he wore one all through his James Bond years...

[soupkitchen]

3. Gong bald is nothing to pull your hair out over.

If it bothers you there is Rogaine and transplsnts

[trof]

18. Transplants are for sissies

and people with small egos.
;-)

[Booberdawg]

4. Hey!

Bald is sexy!!!

Just don't start messin' with those "comb overs". They look stupid!

:D

[pasadenaboy]

5. Its tough.

There is nothing to say, other than that in general, women are less aesthetically oriented than men when it comes to long term relationships, which is obviously much smarter when chosing a life partner.

Be confident, don't hide it, and your wife will be fine with it. the combover, rug or transplants are much worse than letting it shine!!:-)

[zbird]

6. Just don't do a combover!

Seriously though, bald can be very sexy. If you don't like the balding spot in the back, shave all of your hair off, or just do a short buzz cut.

[wtmusic]

11. Combovers are back in again

If you're going to do it, do it loud and proud (I'm talking full 360)

[saline]

7. I've always thought that...

...a shaved head always looked better on big (like musceled) guys. Thats what I plan on doing if and when I start going bald, join a gym, shave my head, pretend it was all part of the plan.... my perfect, perfect plan.

[barbaraann]

8. Don't worry about it unless you plan on running for office.

As Hillary said, she found out that hair DOES matter in politics.

:-)

[muchacho]

15. But you can run a campaigne

just look at Carville.

[MissouriTeacher]

9. Unfortunately I don't think I could shave it.

I think you need a perfectly round head for that, and I'm pretty sure I don't have one.

Plus my scalp hasn't seen the sun since I was an infant, so my head would look like a giant lightbulb.

[Deja Q]

10. I first noticed mine when I was 22...

I'm 31.5 and the recession on the front is quite noticable. I'm amazed my crown is still covered with glorious, lovely hair.

It's hat time for me when the time comes. I don't do the drugs which kill my sex life, despite having no sex life already. I'm not doing the wig gig because I can't stand jokes about having dead squirrels wrapped around my head... Spray paint is out of the question. Not doing the surgery because all those adverts on the telly don't bother to tell you the surgeries are more likely to fail than succeed...

I'm also the only balding person who reuses to cut his hair short like how everybody else does. I look like a freak with my hair cut short...

[junker]

12. Started to go bald at 17 so....

got a few years on you....and am now over 50 so have the experience.

Here is the way it is....

1) some of the world cares about hair...i find mostly these people i wouldn't/don't like anyway...so who cares about their opinion.

b) baldness results from too much (relatively) non bound testosterone...so this is a good thing. This body state of available testosterone is a real survival boon. It aids in lowering prostate cancer and other cancer risks over the lifetime. It means that you have a lot of hormonally derived energy, this also is good. It means that, all other things being equal, your lifetime risks for heart problems are lower than general hairsuite public.

*) you have gained much time usually wasted on preening. This too is good. Darwin used his extra time to write a book. I am building junk boats with mine.

4) it alters your personal consciousness. Baldness (according to the taoists and the small raft buddhists -vypasana'ists) is a gift from the universe. It spares one from vanity, it raises ones consciousness of the infinite (no hairy fellow believes this one but it is true as you will discover). Baldness also provides for a sensitivity to mental and phyiscal states not present in those humans whose image of themselves is not forced through significant changes.

E) Baldness is great. Allows one to develop a appreciation for weather and hats.

2 cautions for the baldness novice....
do not fall into the trap of treasuring the useless remnants as this is the slippery slope to the combover - so just shave it off and go listen for your destiny
and do not fall into trap of wearing hats indoors....too tacky for words.


'the old father wove the skein of your life ages before your birth...i promise you that you can go hide in a hole but you'll not live a day longer'

what is the message here?

you are as the universe wants you. & Courage is the only way to live.

My pappy was from walkers' hollow in MO. As he says about baldness.

'Ain't no big deal. I don't gotta look at it...they do. While they are blinded by my brilliance, I have the advantage.'

[trof]

19. Damn! What a great post.

It's exactly what I meant and makes mine sound like kindergarten drivel.
Nice job, junker, and welcome to DU.
:hi:

[SiouxJ]

22. Wow. That was very smartly said

I happen to know from personal experience that bald men are great in bed too. Must be all that testosterone.

I love bald men because I have found they tend to be less arrogant and cocky (a major turn off) and are generally deeper than "GQ" men with lots of hair. Just a personal observation so if you are a guy with hair, that doesn't necessarily apply to you :-) . I love men with hair as well, as long as it hasn't (pardon the pun) gone to their head ;-).

[trof]

23. Gee, you described me to a T.

;-)

[SiouxJ]

24. .

;-)

[baldguy]

32. Thank you.

More eloquant than I could have been.

[newyawker99]

35. Hi junker!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[muchacho]

13. yeah, it's a bit*h

Noticed mine around the same time (28), now I'm 41. My wife says it's sexy but she's biased...I think it sucks.

I'm vain enough to shave (which I did for 5 years and looked pretty good) and use Propecia (no sexual probs as per 2 years of use) but draw the line at rugs and transplants. As long as there are bald millionaires there is no full proof "cure". Do wat makes you feel best and move on. Bald might be somewhat unattractive but sulking and fretting certainly is.

[populistmom]

14. Smart women know

...that thinning hair means more testosterone which isn't always a bad thing (i.e. increased sex drive and increased fertility). It can, in fact, be quite a good thing.

[MissouriTeacher]

16. Great post junker!

I was unaware of the health benefits of surplus testosterone.

I've always known my levels of it were quite "healthy" even before my hair starting thinning. }(

[trof]

17. Sense of humor not necessary.

There's nothing "funny" about being bald. There's nothing "bad" either. Just as there's nothing "bad" about having brown eyes. Some people got hair, some don't. I don't. Ain't nuthin' to be depressed about.

There was a time, many years ago, when "baldies" were the butt of jokes. I don't know whether it quit being PC, or we just whipped enough ass, but it ain't funny any more.

I started to realize my hair was getting pretty thin at about your age. My wedding pictures (at age 27) show male pattern baldness starting to take its toll.

There was a time, in my 30s, when I suddenly noticed my part was migrating towards my right ear (can't believe I still remember where my part used to be ;-)). Screw this. I had about 19 strands of hair over the top that would stand up and wave around in the slightest breeze. Now THAT is dumb looking. When I shaved that morning I flipped up the sideburn trimmer and zip, zip, zip all 19 bit the dust. I've been shaving that way for 20 or 25 years. If I let it go, there's still a teeny bit of stubble there. I have a fringe of silver gray and I really don't even think about it. I cut my own hair with clippers. Keep it about and inch or so long.

When you get to the slicktop point, DO put a little sunblock up there. A sunburned scalp is painful, I know. Especially if you carry your reading glasses up there for an hour's stroll down the beach. Ouch.
Do NOT wear a cap all the time. A fish belly white scalp and a tanned face looks gross, IMHO.

[bowens43]

20. Im 45 and way thin on top.

My girlfriend insists that it's VERY sexy and looks forward to the day that I will be totaly bald. It's not so bad. It only takes me about 30 seconds to dry and comb my hair!!

[scarlet_owl]

21. Honey, is that you?

Wow. You sound exactly like my husband--right down to the age! He is going through the same thing, except he is balding from the front. If your wife is anything like me, every part of her will be attracted to you no matter what. I know it is hard to understand, and my husband can't get it in his head either, but attraction is the whole package. I'm sure she didn't expect you to look the same for the rest of your life. I hope some of this reassurance helps. While I'm not going through it myself, I live with someone who is, and I know how hard it can be. Just know that you are not alone.

:hi:

[Hell Hath No Fury]

25. Take a page from my opthamologist....

Dr. S -- who is in his early 30s -- has a hairline that isn't just "receeding" it is LONG gone. He's got just a little fringe over the ears and on the back of his head, and has what's left cut very short, with no attempt whatsoever to pretend his balding is not happening.

And you know what? He is sexy as hell to me. He is funny, wildly charming, greets you with a big smile and an upbeat demeanor -- first time I met him I walked out of the office totally smitten.

Guys should learn the important lesson that it is ALL in the attitude.

[alfredo]

26. Don't sweat what you can't avoid. Embrace you symbol of manhood.

Let it shine.

[inthecorneroverhere]

27. hmmm....

Work out! Show some muscles....

Cut your hair short....leave 'em guessing....

:-)

[inthecorneroverhere]

28. hmmm....

Work out! Show some muscles....

Cut your hair short....leave 'em guessing....

:-)

[SPICYHOT]

29. once i had a bald boyfriend

and since i knew he was shaving his head i ask him why, then he told me that he didn't have much hair. I almost fell in love with him and i was always looking at him cause he was sooo sexy, but the bald he was the sexire he became... I think bald guys are soo sexy!!!

[marzipanni]

30. Yes, bald is fine,

like most things people worry about themselves, it isn't the most noticeable thing to other people especially if you aren't letting it bother you.
I was posting to jchilds' Helpful Hints thread and I put in the link to this good home remedy website done by a pharmacist who has a syndicated column. These are mostly remedies which have been tested in medical studies to see if they really work. I noticed there's one for hair loss.

www.healthcentral.com/peoplespharmacy/pharmfulltext.cfm?ID=20269&storytype=

[newsguyatl]

31. all these folks

can say bald is sexy and all, and that's all good and fine, but if it's not ok with YOU and YOU don't feel sexy, then you have to do something about it...


i noticed a slight thinning in the frontal hairline a few months ago and started on propecia immediately... (i've always had very thick, nice hair, so when it started thinning i noticed right away, not to mention i'm vain as hell about my hair)... i'm not gonna lie, propecia SUCKS... it makes your erections much less, umm, forceful, it can cause weight gain, your ejaculations become considerably less, and your sex drive CAN be lowered... some guys have ALL these side effects, some have none at all... it just depends on the guy... propecia supresses the formation of DHT, the hormone that causes the hairloss in men (the reason your hair is thinning right now)... so far, it hasn't worked for me, but they say you have to be on it a year to tell... so only time will tell...


i'd suggest you read about hairloss online... there is a TON of information out there on it... become knowledgeable about the causes and possible treatments... then decide if and how you want to deal with it...

i know how you feel man... this has been the absolute HARDEST thing i've ever personally had to deal with... it's something no one understands unless he goes through it himself... it's devastating to say the very least... folks tell me all the time they don't see it, that i'm just imagining... but fact is, =i= know i'm losing it, and =i= know it's something i won't accept without a HARD fight.


if you're ok with it, that's great... but if you're not (and i sense that's the case) learn all you can, and act now before it's too late...


few good places to start:
www.propecia.com
www.hairlosshelp.com
www.hairsite.com


good luck!!

[grasswire]

34. think of it this way...

...most women will honestly tell you that bald men are sexy and virile.

But how many men will say that a woman's natural tendency to develop a soft belly (even a thin woman) is sexy?

Consider yourself lucky.

[Buns_of_Fire]

36. There are two uses for testosterone -- some men waste it on growing hair.

Don't worry, though. For every hair lost on your head, another will sprout somewhere else. As a matter of fact, you're going to be absolutely amazed at where hair will start growing! (Sorry. :shrug: That didn't help much, did it?)

[curse10]

37. My boyfried is 29...

and he's been dealing with this since his early twenties. It doesn't bother me. Not having hair doesn't change his sense of humor, his eternal patience, his kindness, or his intelligence.

And, even though he has less hair now than when I first met him over three years ago, I still think he's damn sexy. Any woman who would leave a man because he was going bald is a bitch, and deserves to have her hair fall out.