Some Real California Gubernatorial Candidates

[REP]

I just got my Voter's Guide. Some highlights:

Trek Thunder Kelly - Independent trekkelly.com
Dear Voters, Please vote for me, thus breaking the Seventh Seal and incurring Armageddon. I will legalize drugs, gambling and prostitution so they may be taxed and regulated, the funds derived would subsidize the deficit, education, and environment. I believe in peaceful resolutions backed by a strong military; I don't care who you marry or have sex with.

Kevin Richter - Republican whowantstobeagovernor.com
I breathe.

Diane Beall Templin - American Independent Party dianetemplin.com
May the Lord give you the wisdom of Solomon as you vote. I pray that the Wonderful Counselor, the MIghty God will guide me in all decisions, especially in selecting the best and brightest trusted servants to resolve the budget crisis and heal our land. 2 Chronicles 7:14 Please see and info on the American Independent Party in this Voter Guide for my positions on the issues. If any questions - call me or email me.

Ivan A Hall - Gren Party ivanhall.com
What's it all about?

Robert Cullenbine - Democrat bobcan.com
I am a longtime opponent of radical right-wing attempts to take over this state and country. Learn more at bobcan.com

Lorraine (Abner Zurd) Fontanes - Democrat abnerz.com
With my skills as a filmmaker and arts administrator, I will work to return common sense to California government.

Rich Gosse - Republican richgosse.com
Single adults are the Rodney Dangerfields of our society. They "can't get no respect." I am the first candidate in California history to campaing on a Fairness for Singles Platform. Visit my website for my views on reducing crime, solving the budget crisis, and improving education.

I am not making any of these up.

[catzies]

1. OMG! I'm going to read mine right now!!!

Thanks for the heads up.

[REP]

3. Apparently, I'll Read ANYTHING!

Those were the creme de la creme of weirdos.

[goobergunch]

2. Wow!

Anybody mention DU? or FR for that matter?

[disgruntella]

4. my favorite is the "breather"

I sure wish someone named "Mike Hunt" or "Heywood Jablomi" would have entered.

[catzies]

5. I FOUND MY FAVORITE!

Bill Prady
Democratic Party
(no campaign address, phone number, website or email given)

You know the wonderful world that exists in television comedies - a world where, no matter what problems arise or conflicts exist, people work together to overcome any obstacle, and, maybe, learn a little something? Wouldn't you like California to be a place like that? It can be if you elect Bill Prady to be the next governor of our great state. Bill Prady is an award-winning television comedy writer and producer who will bring the skills he's learned creating sitcom episodes to Sacramento. If elected, he pledges to solve all the state's problems in twenty-two minutes and forty-four seconds with two commercial breaks and a hug at the end. After all this turmoil, isn't this just what California needs?

[REP]

6. How Did I Miss That One?!

It's great!

How about:

Alex-St, James - Republican
Once an Aspirant Catholic Priest, I support life from conception to the grave and the right to bear arms. <...>