"Rockin' in the Free World"--soundtrack(s) for election night

[Bridget Burke]

The Houston Press's music editor, John Nova Lomax, has some thoughts about tapes you might prepare for your election evening festivities.

Let's start with the pro-Dubya mix. Contrary to popular belief in the snide world of hip music, not all Republican music blows putrid chunks like Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA." It goes on first anyway, though; after all, you can't really have a Red State soiree without it. Still, Racket has extreme misgivings about this song. Even if you forget about its lyrics -- which to me equate with the sort of patriotism practiced by self-righteous winos trying to scam you out of Mad Dog money -- "God Bless the USA" is one crappy piece of music. Can't some Republican DJ, if such a creature exists, remix the goddamn thing?

If there is no "DJ GOP" out there, I'm prepared to throw my hat in the ring: While I lack technical remix skills, I think I get the concept, so here's what one of you Grand Old record-wreckers should do: Drop some samples from Zell Miller's fire-breathing Republican convention speech over the music of "God Bless the USA." It could be like one of those sound montages Clear Channel Radio's always cooking up whenever the shit hits the fan -- as the strings swell and the kettle drums rumble on Greenwood's anthem, you could have Zell Da Original Wild Eyed Southern Boy ranting things like "George Bush wants to grab terrorists by the throat and not let them go to get a better grip," "It is the soldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to protest," and "They claimed Carter's pacifism would lead to peace. They were wrong. They claimed Reagan's defense buildup would lead to war. They were wrong. And, no pair has been more wrong, more loudly, more often than the two Senators from Massachusetts, Ted Kennedy and John Kerry." And then Greenwood comes back in for the chorus: "I'm prooouud to be an American, where at least I know I'm freeeeee…." Edit in some Republican-friendly sound effect like fireworks blasting and F-16s roaring overhead…

Excuse me, I've given myself chills. Damn, that's good stuff.

Read the rest of it here:

http://houstonpress.com/issues/2004-10-28/racket.html

[FunBobbyMucha]

1. My wife had that experience, sorta

she gives lists of songs she wants to our friends, who download and burn cd's for her (I know, I know). She wanted some Amy Grant song, and our friend burned the "remix" in which the Chimp is heard talking about 9/11 and how they hate our freedoms, etc.