Born Before 1986? Then You Are OLD!

[CO Liberal]

Born Before 1986? Then You Are...

...OLD! And here's proof.

Every year Beloit College in Beloit, Wisconsin publishes what it calls "The Mindset List"--fun facts and figures about the incoming crop of freshmen so professors will be able to relate to their new students.

Beloit says the list is a reminder that the world view of today's new college students is significantly different from the intellectual framework of those students who entered only a few years earlier. Put another way, it's a reminder that you are getting on in years.

* * * * * * * * * *

Today's college freshmen were born in 1986, the same year that Chernobyl melted down and the Challenger exploded. Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, Calif., and the Soviets were bogged down for the seventh year of frustration in Afghanistan. Domestically, we were preoccupied by the Iran Contra scandal and internationally, the Iran-Iraq war continued to reveal a disturbing list of atrocities.

So to better understand how the class of 2008 thinks, read this and feel your age:

Most students entering college this fall were born in 1986.

Desi Arnaz, Orson Welles, Roy Orbison, Ted Bundy, Ayatollah Khomeini, and Cary Grant have always been dead.

"Heeeere's Johnny!" is a scary greeting from Jack Nicholson, not a warm welcome from Ed McMahon.

The Energizer bunny has always been going and going and going.

Large fine-print ads for prescription drugs have always appeared in magazines.

Photographs have always been processed in an hour or less.

They never got a chance to drink 7-Up Gold, Crystal Pepsi, or Apple Slice.

Baby Jessica could be a classmate.

Parents may have been reading "The Bourne Supremacy" or "It" as they rocked them in their cradles.

Alan Greenspan has always been setting the nation's financial direction.

The U.S. has always been a Prozac nation.

They have always enjoyed the comfort of pleather.

Harry has always known Sally.

They never saw Roseanne Roseannadanna live on "Saturday Night Live."

There has always been a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

They never ate a McSub at McD's.

There has always been a Comedy Channel.

Bill and Ted have always been on an excellent adventure.

They were never tempted by smokeless cigarettes.

Robert Downey, Jr. has always been in trouble.

Martha Stewart has always been cooking up something with someone.

They have always been comfortable with gay characters on television.

Mike Tyson has always been a contender.

The government has always been proposing we go to Mars, and it has always been deemed too expensive.

There have never been any Playboy Clubs.

There have always been night games at Wrigley Field.

Rogaine has always been available for the follicularly challenged.

They never saw USA Today or the Christian Science Monitor as a TV news program.

Computers have always suffered from viruses.

We have always been mapping the human genome.

Politicians have always used rock music for theme songs.

Network television has always struggled to keep up with cable.

O'Hare has always been the most delay-plagued airport in the U.S.

Ivan Boesky has never sold stock.

Toll-free 800 phone numbers have always spelled out catchy phrases.

Bethlehem has never been a place of peace at Christmas.

Episcopal women bishops have always threatened the foundation of the Anglican Church.

Svelte Oprah has always dominated afternoon television; who was Phil Donahue anyway?

They never flew on People Express.

AZT has always been used to treat AIDS.

The international community has always been installing or removing the leader of Haiti.

Oliver North has always been a talk show host and news commentator.

They have suffered through airport security systems since they were in strollers.

They have done most of their search for the right college online.

Aspirin has always been used to reduce the risk of a heart attack.

They were spared the TV ads for Zamfir and his panpipes.

Castro has always been an aging politician in a suit.

There have always been non-stop flights around the world without refueling.

Cher hasn't aged a day.

M.A.S.H. was a game: Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House.

http://mrw.syr.edu/jokes/Born1986.htm

[Lavender Brown]

1. Nooooo!

I can't be old yet! :cry:

[bluestateguy]

2. Indeed.

I'm scheduled to talk to my students about Ronald Reagan today. I have to remind myself that almost all of these kids have no living memory of his presidency.

[NoPasaran]

15. Lucky them! n/t

[American Tragedy]

3. I was born in 1983

Does that count too? The overwhelming majority of the statements you have listed are also true for me.

[CO Liberal]

8. I Was Born in 1952

And when I was born -

Harry Truman was president.

All TVs were black-and-white (except for experimental sets CBS and RCA were developing). The biggest stars on TV were Milton Berle, Arthur Godfrey, and Howdy Doody.

"I Love Lucy" had not aired its first episode yet.

There were four TV networks - ABC, CBS, NBC, and DuMont (which later became Metromedia, and eventually became Fox).

All radios were AM. And car radios had vacuum tubes; the transistor had only been developed five years earlier.

No cars had power steering.

Hanna and Barberra were still cranking out "Tom & Jerry" cartoons for MGM.

You could still buy a brand-new Studebaker, Packard, Nash, Hudson, or Kaiser.

"American Bandstand" was four years away from going national.

Disneyland was still on the design boards.

[CAcyclist]

28. When I was young

When I was born(1966):

Computers were people

When I was in junior high:

You could get a house in the central valley of CA for $50,000. With a big backyard.

Most kids rode their bikes to school.

You could go to an Oingo-Boingo concert for $6 in Bakersfield

In high school:

Rape (torn) shirts were the big thing in high school

Most kids rode their bikes to school

There was no such thing as a minivan - all vans were full-sized.

We had Commodore 64s in computer class

When I was in college:

The Far Side was our comic strip of choice

Typewriters with a correct tape was considered advanced. Some rich kids had wordprocessor typewriters

No cars had airbags, car insurance in CA wasn't a requirement until a new law was passed sometime in the 80's

[JimmyJazz]

4. well, dear - thanks for that little pick me up!

Another reminder of how old I am is just what I needed a few weeks before my birthday! :P

[CO Liberal]

11. I Started Feeling Old When My Daughter's Hair Started Going Gray

That happened when she was 18 - same thing that happened to her mother. I was 42 at the time....

[JimmyJazz]

17. well - take a guess at how old I am

don't work too hard: I'm 42 :7

[wildeyed]

5. no Apple Slice? Awww......

Hey, give your pup a cuddle from me. Did you train it to pee on b/c signs?

[blondeatlast]

6. Eegads--no wonder I get fliers to join AARP, even though

I'm only 45.

[smiley_glad_hands]

7. I'm 26 for life dammit. eom

[nickinSTL]

9. I was born in 1972

Therefore, I should be old. But, some of those kinda apply to me.

I've never even heard of Crystal Pepsi.

But, I did spend about 15 years off and on in Europe during my childhood/early adulthood, so I missed a lot of the stuff other people my age are aware of.

[Huckebein the Raven]

16. You didn't miss anything

that stuff was awful to say the least.

[Gyre]

10. Sure is interesting

viewing current events through the lens of the past half-century. Shit, I remember hitchhiking across America about 3 times in the early 70s. Kinda different now, and definitely NOT for the better. There was a reason that ancient Greeks revered their elders; they were smarter because they had experience younger people didn't. That hasn't changed.

Gyre

[Wat_Tyler]

12. Let's face it. Anyone who is younger or older than me is a bastard.

Nah. Scratch that. Anyone who isn't me, is a bastard.

[FunBobbyMucha]

13. These don't all specifically refer to the year 1986, though, do they?

I'm assuming the statements are based on what these kids remember, cuz, for instance, Harry hooked up with Sally in 88 or 89.

Still...

[CO Liberal]

19. I Guess It's Based On What They Would Remember

Since most kids don't remember many events that occurred before they're around 3.

[hinachan]

14. I was born in 1965, first year of Generation X

I used to fear getting older, but I actually think it's great to have been born when I was...old enough to enjoy both the 1970's and the 1980's, and early adulthood in the 1990's.

Best of all, in a worst-case scenario and a Bush "win", I'm too old to be drafted. :nuke:

[coloradodem2005]

18. I was born in 1979.

How dare you call me old you little wimpersnapper.

I am so mad. I don't know where my walker is.

[CO Liberal]

20. Whippersnapper?? I Was Born in 1952!!!

You're younger than my kids!!

[coloradodem2005]

21. You called me old.

Now you are calling me young? You flip-flop more than Bush does. :P

[CO Liberal]

24. Everything's Relative

To me, you're young. To the Olson Twins, you're old.

:-)

[captainjack]

22. i dont WANNA grow old!!!

:cry: :cry: i want to be 21 forever and ever! damnit, how did this happen?! 21 years old and i've accomplished nothing! who am i? baaah!!!

:cry: make it stop, make time stop! i have to take some time to think!!!

[no name no slogan]

23. I love seeing these every year.....

However, since I started my senior year of hight school in 1986, they're starting to hit a little too close to home these days.

BTW there's nothing wrong with aging gracefully-- you only "grow old" when you start to think like an "old person".

Hell, I've seen so-called "Young Republicans" who are older than I am-- and they're half my age.

:thumbsup:

[flamingyouth]

25. I was born in 1968

And I actually graduated from high school in 1986, so I suppose I could have been a grandmother by now, if I had only set my mind to it. :D

[CO Liberal]

26. I Got Married The First Time When I Was 21

And my son was born nine months later, when I was 22. If he had followed suit (which he didn't), I would have a ten-year-old grandchild today. Which I don't.

[captainjack]

27. wow, you got married when you were 21?

jeez! i can't hold a stable gf for more than 1 week! good man.