What is your earliest whoisalhedges memory?

[RandomKoolzip]

I'm sure many of us remember him as Whitacre_D Wi, his previous handle. It can be assumed most DUers must relish those first run ins with this little imp. Oh, the memories!

Mine was realizing that there was a vaguely unpleasant man with sideburns, wearing all denim, forcing me to listen to his "music." His "music" turned out to be flatulence. Whatta card!

[eyesroll]

1. My very first whoisalhedges memory was several years ago,

when he called me to tell me he'd found the name he was destined to have.

[RandomKoolzip]

2. I'm sure you were whelmed.

Just like all my friends were when I told them I was now "Rick Kerrigan."

[dolo amber]

3. Thinking 'god, that's a stupid name'

:D

[RandomKoolzip]

15. Hey, don't bring god into this.

I still think of him as "Whitacre...." All his other sock puppet names matter not.

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. Because your name is awash with profundity.

:eyes:

[Wat_Tyler]

4. When he helped me flay several indonesian sex-slaves.

Ah, but those were the days.

[RandomKoolzip]

9. Oh, the folly of youth!

[Magrittes Pipe]

14. Youth?

That was last week. :eyes:

[Wat_Tyler]

17. Tasted great, though.

Like venison, only juicier.

[RandomKoolzip]

22. Damn....you Pisces people always look older than you look.

[Magrittes Pipe]

27. Smell older, too.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

5. My first was at my introduction thread- he was impressed by my credentials

To this day he kisses my ass!

[RandomKoolzip]

6. By "credentials," you mean "Big Jim and the Twins," right?

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

7. No "every person in china" remember?

Mr Buckets? Ring a bell?

[RandomKoolzip]

10. I'm "kidding."

(Yes, I do remember.)

I just never heard anyone refer to his genitals as his "Credentials" before, that's all. You learn something new everyday!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

16. "I'm "hating.""

You're used to them being called "liabilities", I understand

[RandomKoolzip]

19. I'm used to calling it an "outie."

Virtually indistinguishable from a pink pencil eraser in size and stamina.

[Magrittes Pipe]

21. Those aren't my lips, Mr. Strength.

[asthmaticeog]

8. Mine involves store-brand whipped topping and feet.

Yeah, cool-whip is boring-ass breeder kink, but the kids enjoyed themselves, and that's what really counts.

[RandomKoolzip]

12. Did he show you how to do "The Cuban Wrench?"

My jaw STILL hurts!

[asthmaticeog]

13. Nothing that exotic,

but I DID wind up with a sore jaw.

[Magrittes Pipe]

23. No....

athsmaticeog is from Cleveland.

[XNASA]

11. In 2003, when he lowered a pair of binoculars and pointed.....

...at a Buick LaSabre in an Olive Garden parking lot and said to me, "Hey, isn't that your parents having sex in the backseat of that Buick?"

Then he wept.

[RandomKoolzip]

18. He was just crying because the food at the 'live Garden was sooo

damn good.

[Magrittes Pipe]

26. But they were tears of joy.

[XNASA]

32. I know.

I know.

[anonymousdemocrat]

24. When he kissed me under the blood moon last night

:loveya:

[Donkeyboy75]

29. The moon wasn't red.

That was just haze from the fumes of his unwashed flesh.

[anonymousdemocrat]

48. Yes, perhaps;

Like an L.A .sunset, the sky when alhedges is near...

:loveya:

[Donkeyboy75]

58. Hmmm..."smog"

is probably a good descriptive term. ;)

[anonymousdemocrat]

61. I'd never actually SEEN a fart

until I met hedges...

:puke:

[Magrittes Pipe]

33. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

[Donkeyboy75]

25. It's hazy...but I know it involved

him waving his flesh baton at Rick Santorum.

[Magrittes Pipe]

28. 'twas no big thing, till Rick started barking.

:scared:

[RandomKoolzip]

30. "Man on Dog!"

I always thought he called it his "Pink Broadsword."

[Donkeyboy75]

31. Perhaps he never shared with you his desire to be

a majorette.

[RandomKoolzip]

34. Well, majorettes WERE mentioned.

But only in connection with his "Red Lobster" kink. I shan't go further.

[terrya]

35. Mine is in all seriousness.

I was on DU posting of some travail in my life...and whoisalhedges, or Whitacre_D_WI, sent me a very nice email in response. It just confirmed that he was and is a good guy.

[Magrittes Pipe]

36. Aw, Terry... you can't pop into a goofy-ass thread and make me all blushy!

:hug:

[terrya]

57. Yes, I can.

Not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

I'd better stop. :-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

59. Well, thanks for the kind words....

Now start insulting me mercilessly! :bounce:

[terrya]

62. Well, there WAS that cringe worthy pic of you holding the Blatz...

that I'm STILL trying to get out of my head!! That was disturbing, creepy and bizarre! Really, who drinks BLATZ, for Christ's sake????

[Magrittes Pipe]

64. There we go!

Mmmmm... Blatz. Almost as delicious as Schlitz! :D

[terrya]

67. I'm now getting creeped out beyond words!

That is just so...so frightingly twisted. :-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

69. Don't even get me started on that sweet nectar Schaefer's.

[terrya]

71. There's...there's a case of Milwaukee's Best in your place...

right NOW, isn't there???

[Magrittes Pipe]

72. Jesus, Terry.

That's just nasty.

[terrya]

75. Well, that's gratifying to know that there are SOME limits for you.

Jeez....

[RandomKoolzip]

40. I call bullshit!

Whitacre/hedges is a scabies-riddled curse on humanity without an ounce of compassion or tenderness in his heart. And he's a prevert, too!


(PS. He is a good guy, but we have to maintain Hedges's reputation here!)

[Josh_Strength]

42. Baby Jesus cries when you swear!

Nice picture though! I smashed that giant fez good! JOSH SMASH INFIDEL HEADWARE!!!

[RandomKoolzip]

45. SHRINER NOT FILLED WITH CHRISTLOVE! BAM BAM BAM!

[chiburb]

46. Quit suckin' up to him! Just cuz he's almost single

is NO reason the rest of us have to suffer.

Now, if you were posting about Eyesroll...

[Magrittes Pipe]

49. Well....

as we're technically still married, chiburb, you would have to pay me a token sum.

[chiburb]

53. Nah, I'm keeping my powder dry 'till it's official...

Though I think I'm right that Terrya is hitting on you!

[Magrittes Pipe]

55. The line forms to the right.

[chiburb]

63. Ewww! She's gonna date Freepers? Yech...never mind.

Or were you talking about Terrya's designs on you?

[Magrittes Pipe]

65. Either way.

You'll be finding out a LOT about eyesroll on Nov. 2.

[eyesroll]

78. Hey now...the first rule of Operation Ultimate Freep...

:P

[terrya]

70. It's just pointless, chiburb. I realize it now.

He doesn't care. I know. :-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

73. Sorry... our taste in beers is just not compatible.

[terrya]

74. You had me running away with the reference to Schlitz!

Yikes!

[Magrittes Pipe]

76. It goes down a lot smoother than it comes out, that's for sure.

Wow, that statement could be taken a whole lot of ways. :o

[terrya]

77. Far, far too many ways...

:0

[terrya]

60. Are you kidding? And be the subject of torrid gossip on here???

NO thank you! :-)

[Josh_Strength]

37. I remember he mocked me! JOSH SMASH HEDGES!!!

:grr:

[Magrittes Pipe]

38. How's your bending of the space-time continuum coming along?

[Josh_Strength]

39. Very powerfully as I have the Lord with me!

All praise and glory be to Him!!!

[RandomKoolzip]

43. HOLY FUCKAMOLY!

I just laughed so hard I vomited blood out of my eyeball.....Nice work, Monsieur Strength!

[Josh_Strength]

44. Don't swear! The Lord denounces swearing, puny human!

:grr:

[dolo amber]

66. Nice rack

:D

[Magrittes Pipe]

68. No shit.

Them jugs is....

Never mind.

[Bunny]

41. It was back in '68. Me and hedges had just got back from Nam.

We went to a Burger King. They screwed up my order, and I was ready to take a few hostages and shoot the place up. hedges talked me down. I owe him, man, I owe him...

[Magrittes Pipe]

47. Da Nang! Da Nang!

:cry:

[RandomKoolzip]

50. You mean "Da Wang! Da Wang!" right?

[Magrittes Pipe]

51. That's what YOU said.

Remember?

[RandomKoolzip]

52. Oh come on! How could I say anything with that

massive ball-gag in my mouth?

[Magrittes Pipe]

54. It wasn't you?

Musta been Herve Villaichez, then.

I still have no idea why you brought him along. Although, I suppose people now better understand what happened later.

[RandomKoolzip]

56. Well, I can only keep him packed in the crack of my jeans for so long

...then that li'l shaver starts to get a bit gamey. Woof!

[ScreamingMeemie]

79. I think it was around 2 AM...but I'm not sure of the month.

:shrug: :hi:

[SOteric]

80. Who...? What...?