A serious message to all estranged parents

[Mizmoon]

Mr. Chamilto and I just drove two carloads full of kids to a party. Mr. C's car is a 2-seater, so he was alone with one of my son's 16-year-old friends. They happened to drive past the boy's father's house and the boy began to talk about how his dad didn't want to talk to him, wasn't interested in him, and how they hardly saw each other. Mr. C said the sadness in his voice was very painful.

Now I know why this kid is at our house all the time, why he is so emotionally needy.

Everyone's situation is different, but if you are a parent estranged from your child, especially if that child is underage, please consider trying to reconnect with them somehow. It hurts a child deeply to lose a parent like that. It's a terrible thing. That's all I wanted to say.

[specter]

1. My baby is 3 months today

And I will follow that advice because I believe it. I dont want someone else to raise him.

[miss_kitty]

2. that was an honour, that he felt he could open up to you.

He must look up to and trust you very much. Poor feller :cry:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

3. You're right.

I am the mother of a son whose father has abandoned and neglected him for the past 4 years. Holidays go by with an occasional empty promise, but hardly a dozen calls over 4 years. Zero emotional or financial support. The lack of emotional support is what inflicts the real damage.

[Thtwudbeme]

4. You don't know the whole story. That child might be

wayyyy better off without his biological father in his life.

Some people just suck too badly to be parents; it's a damn shame that the world's not perfect, and they are sterile.

Stephanie

[lastliberalintexas]

6. Amen to that

[flamingyouth]

5. That is a tremendously sad story

I don't have children, but I cannot imagine what could ever cause me to not want to see my 16-year-old son *ever.* :cry:

[Chovexani]

7. My father was not there for me most of my life

My parents got divorced when I was little and my father pretty much abandoned me. He moved down to Virginia had a house built (meanwhile providing zero child support until my mother took him to court) and quietly re-married without telling anyone. Now he is advancing in years and is ill (he's a diabetic and he suffered a mild stroke a couple of weeks ago).

My mom, to her credit, has been very civil despite the things that went on (my father's drinking, womanizing, emotional abuse, etc.). She has maintained the position through the years that my relationship with my father is my business, and she's never tried to stop me from talking to him or anything. I'm 23 and around the time I turned 18 my father all of a sudden started calling me up. He's supposedly gotten religion and wants to make amends but I am just so completely cynical at this point because in the past when I have given him chances to do right by me he has without fail let me down. Honestly I think he is just feeling guilty because he is old and basically alone--he has screwed over everyone in his life at one point or another, my stepmother is wheelchair-bound and has cancer and he's stuck taking care of her. His actions have alienated everyone and he really doesn't have anyone. The recent illness has made me re-evaluate a lot of things but I have a lot of bitterness. I know it's not healthy and that I need to work through it but it's just really hard.

I appreciate your post, because sometimes I think people just don't realize the power of that parent-child bond and what it can do to a person to be rejected by a parent. Some just don't care about the damage they are doing until it is too late.

[Mizmoon]

8. I probably identified with him too

Life is such a bitch sometimes, ain't it?

[Nicole]

9. estranged parents

become those lonely, old people you hear about that have no visitors in the nursing home.

I didn't see my mother from the time I was 3 until I was 30. I hope I never see her again.

What goes around, comes around.