I will now seduce the men using Paul Lynde one-liners.

[Deja Q]

http://webpages.charter.net/emilb/paul lynde.jpg


Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.





Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.





Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.





Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.





Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.





Q: What are "Do It", "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough"?
A: George Gobel: I don't know but it's coming from the next apartment.





Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter... and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!





Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.





Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!





Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.





Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.





Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.





Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.





Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!





Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!





Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.





Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.





Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?





Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.





Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.





Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.





Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

[NightTrain]

1. "His feet."

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!! :thumbsup:

[Liberal Veteran]

2. Paul Lynne was FABULOUSLY in your face.

:)

[salinen]

3. Too fuckin funny.

[madrchsod]

4. my 18yr old daughter

doesn`t get the old jeopardy shows with all these people wise cracking back and forth. i guess the satire and nuance is is lost on the new tv generation..hell i can remember watching Berle come out in drag....

[KG]

7. well, of course she doesn't

those exchanges took place on 'hollywood squares'.

'jeopardy' wasn't nearly as funny... :)

[ClintonTyree]

5. Thjey always gave the panelists the questions.........

beforehand so they could make up witty replies. Some of those are quite original and clever. They couldn't do that with questions asked point blank though, at least not that funny.

[DrZeeLit]

6. I must be getting old and maudlin. I miss all those comedians,

especially Paul Lynde.

Sometimes I zap Bye Bye Birdie in the ol' tape player and sing-along.
Kids, what's the matter with kids today?

Paul was GREAT!!!!!


Kerry On!

[Deja Q]

8. Ask Britney Spears and Adam Sandler

They are apparently what's hip these days. :eyes:

(Now I'm 32. I have to wonder at which age the better talents of yesteryear become unknown... Most 25 year olds haven't a clue, for example...)