The casting couch is now open

[belladonna]

Applications are being taken, and interviews done for the position of Belladonna's temporary boy toy.

Well okay, it's open until they lock this thread :evilgrin:

Edited to add job requirements..... you do whatever I want whenever I want it. Is that clear enough? The benefits oughta be obvious and I'm not getting this thread locked in order to make them more clear :D

[sundog]

1. you need to fill them in on job requirements & benefits dear

[belladonna]

2. Oh fine, I'll edit

If I scare them away, it's all YOUR fault and you'll have to be my boy toy. Understood?

[sundog]

3. shhh... I'm busy gathering my own collection...

you can borrow one or two

[belladonna]

6. Can I borrow Diego?

I'll pack up my casting couch and go home if I can have sweet Diego :loveya:

[sundog]

19. he ran off to Mazatlan... something about lower health insurance premiums

:cry:

[belladonna]

23. Mazatlan, ya say?

Hmmm, I have a week's vacation that I need to take before January.... wanna come with? We'll find Diego and give him a good talking to :evilgrin:

[MichaelHarris]

4. OK

but I refuse to load the dishwasher in the nude. Alot of bending over required.

[belladonna]

5. That's okay

I'll load the dishwasher, now tell me why I should consider you for the position :evilgrin:

[MichaelHarris]

8. OK this is a sure fire thread locker but here goes

when I go down I take a sack lunch because I'm gonna be there awhile.

[belladonna]

16. And mharris660 moves into the lead

:evilgrin:

[MichaelHarris]

18. sometimes in life

we never make it through the front door, that's why God gave us short skirts and panties with side snaps.


I'm so getting banned.

[flvegan]

7. Before I apply, you need to know

I can't operate most heavy machinery, nor can I fix anything electrical.

[belladonna]

9. The position is boy toy

No need for a handy man here, though I might need extra batteries now and then :D

[flvegan]

12. Just covering the "whatever/whenever" part of the job

As I would insist on fulfilling every one of your wants, needs and desires.

[short bus president]

10. Question for you...

how do you feel about kinda rough, angry-at-the-opposite-gender sex?

;-)

[belladonna]

11. If you'd been in chat last night

You'd know how I feel. But since you know everything else that's gone on with me lately, I feel confident that you can figure it out :evilgrin:

[short bus president]

22. so what yer saying is

a little more slap and a little less tickle ain't always a bad thing, right?

:P

[belladonna]

24. A lot more slap and no tickle could work too

:D

[short bus president]

31. OK, another question:

Do you by any chance speak German? Or could you at least memorize a few terms, and maybe how to count to 20?

:evilgrin:

[belladonna]

32. Sorry, can't speak German

But sure, I could memorize a few lines... hey wait, who's interviewing who here? :evilgrin:

[da_chimperor]

65. One to twenty in German, eh? I can help with that

Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn, elf, zwölf, dreizehn, vierzehn, fünfzehn, sechzehn, siebzehn, achtzehn, neunzehn, zwanzig. That's a start. Study hard, there will be a quiz tomorrow! :D

[belladonna]

67. Hmm... twenty seconds?

Okay, but can we work our way up?

[da_chimperor]

71. More time? Just put a 'minute' behind eins

and a 'minuten' behind all the others. There ya go! :D

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. Did Teddy Salad jump the shark?

PS I have some boy toys

[belladonna]

14. Hmmmm... one might put it that way

Now how about sending a few of those boy toys this way? :D

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. Misunderestimator would be upset if I shared them with anyone else

:evilgrin:

[belladonna]

17. But I promise I'll return them!!

Sure, they might be a little battered and bruised, but they'll recover... mostly anyway :evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

20. Well.....maybe I can't share those, but I would gladly mail you

a discreetly wrapped care package...hell they work better than another person and don't leave the toilet seat up.....batteries are cheaper than food too!

[belladonna]

21. Funny you should say that

I'm getting ready to post pics of my new "husband" on that other site... though I think this one would be pretty damn hard to wrap discreetly :evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

25. that long, eh?

[belladonna]

27. Nooo... how to put this delicately?

Hmmm... there is no way to put it delicately. Put it this way, no batteries for this one, more like a heavy duty extension cord :P

[flvegan]

34. Notify your power company

So they can make sure the grid can take it.

[sundog]

35. 220 v w/ surge protector

[flvegan]

37. Have mercy...

[belladonna]

39. Go take a look, sweetie

The pic is up at the "other site". Still think I need a surge protector? :evilgrin:

[sundog]

41. yikes! It has an attachment for every month of the year

:scared:

[belladonna]

44. I know!!!

Isn't it great??? We can't be together right away, but I can wait for something so very special :loveya:

[DS1]

42. Is that a travel handle on the right?

:scared:

[sundog]

43. it's for vacations... convenient carry-on luggage... stores under the seat

[DS1]

45. stores under the seat

That's the idea.

[belladonna]

46. Sure is, and didn't you say you wanted to apply?

I'll need some good directions and perhaps a map to guide my way. As for you, you might need to lay in a good supply of KY :evilgrin:

[DS1]

53. I suddenly feel so...

violated :7

Somehow I think that's what you ~both~ have in mind

[belladonna]

56. And you like it

C'mon, admit it... you're trembling with anticipation, aren't ya? :evilgrin:

[DS1]

57. Trembling? No. Puckering. Maybe.

:hi: <- *wink wink say no more* :D

[DS1]

26. Depends on what you want, then

doesn't it. :shrug:

[belladonna]

28. If I post what I WANT, this thread gets locked immediately

You know how THAT is, right?

[DS1]

29. Actually, between 1 and 2 pm is typically a safezone

You have ten minutes, post away :evilgrin:

[MichaelHarris]

30. It's all in the woodage

like when people say, "It's not the size of the pen It's how you sign your name". In response to that all I can say is I dot my I's very well.

[flvegan]

33. But I'm sure that most agree

Best case scenario is to use a big pen and sign with a flourish.

Woodage. Heh heh. Mistype or pun?

[MichaelHarris]

36. LOL mistype but

I would sure like to take credit for it.

[flvegan]

38. I thought that would be the locker

Take the credit though. I about fell outta my chair.

It's all about the woodage...uh, "wordage"

[belladonna]

40. I do love the woodage

Take credit for it anyway... it's my new favorite word :D

[MichaelHarris]

47. I will now take full

responsibility for the woodage this thread has caused. Well not me personally but Belladonna's ability to cause woodage throughout the DU land.

ps. I still can't find that "other" site.

[belladonna]

48. Check your PM

To find the other site :D

[MichaelHarris]

49. I did

now if I can get get this dog off my leg. I must be emitting some kind of musk, thanks for that.

[flvegan]

50. Please don't choose anyone til I'm back from the gym...

I gotta stay in good shape for any new positions that come up...as I'd like to be the one to fill your opening.

Even I think that was over the top...

[belladonna]

51. Determined to get it locked, are ya?

Cheating isn't nice, but it kinda turns me on :evilgrin:

[MichaelHarris]

52. It takes a whole gym for

woodage? I get it just by watching the DIY network.

[DemOverseas]

54. Bell'uomo

vero!

[belladonna]

55. Did you by any chance bring along a translator for your interview?

:shrug:

[DemOverseas]

90. BellaDonna

I figure a beautiful woman is looking for a beautiful man? True?
That is the translation.........

[mdmc]

58. well, I already spend a lot of time on the couch

How come this seems less pathetic than my holiday card idea? :hi:

[belladonna]

61. Hmmm... maybe cause I only want a boy toy

Relationships... who needs em?

[LibLover]

59. Sounds like fun, are girl actresses welcome?

You'll get more boys to your couch if they know a girl has been there!

[belladonna]

60. Oh yes, more than welcome

This is why the boy toy position is temporary :evilgrin:

[Jose Diablo]

62. Have you obtained a job ID # from the BLS

And an IRS EIN? Is this a 501C corp or for profit(c or s) or are you organized as a sole proprietor? Is this a domestic corp? Which state is it chartered in? If international, what nation and is there the appropriate inport licenses? Has the local and state licenses been obtained? What about Workman's comp? Are you classifying this as temp or permanent for purposes of insurance? Will there be any heavy lifting? Do you supply uniforms?

Ya understand, I am interested, just a few specifics need to be ironed out.

:D

[belladonna]

63. Buzzkill!!!!

The only two I'll answer is NO, no heavy lifting and what uniform? You'll be nekkid, silly :shrug:

[MrScorpio]

64. This is me... And I'm in Virginia

http://photos.yahoo.com/pinaylover247

Care to discuss terms?

[belladonna]

66. Ohhh... I surely do

How about we make it easy and you tell me what you WON'T do? :evilgrin:

[MrScorpio]

68. Let's just say that I won't take it like a man

Everything else is up for grabs

[belladonna]

69. I'll let ya play with my new toy

Sundog and DS1 are scared of it, but I bet you wouldn't be :evilgrin:

[MrScorpio]

70. Me scared? Yeah, right

I invented fun with party favors, Sugah Butt

[belladonna]

72. Might wanna check your PM and see for yourself

Just saying :evilgrin:

[miss_kitty]

73. kicking

cuz it's not locked yet

:evilgrin:

[MrScorpio]

74. Hey, Miss French Kitty

How's your kitty cat?

[belladonna]

75. So was that your final answer?

Or did you change your mind after the PM? :evilgrin:

[MrScorpio]

76. I just found it... Over there

I like your twisted taste in toys

You know how to have fun

Sounds like a party!

[belladonna]

77. Ahh, you're my kinda guy

Now we'll talk terms :evilgrin:

[MrScorpio]

78. Lay 'em on me

I can't wait to see these terms

[belladonna]

79. Well, the boy toy terms are much different than my usual

You must be able to respond to a "booty call", for lack of a better term, within an hour of being...uhh, err.. paged.

Staying power is important, as is having no hangups or silly inhibitions.... how am I doing so far? :D

Okay, NOW this will get locked :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

80. Nah

Booty is just another word for pirate treasure.

[belladonna]

82. Back from the gym?

You realize Mr Scorpio has taken the lead, don't you? You better get to work :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

84. Yup, had a great workout

Every muscle is engorged with blood, and hard as a rock. The pump lasts for a few hours, then tapers off. However, if you keep working them a little, they stay hard. Stamina has never been an issue with me.

I trust you're having no trouble reading between those lines.

[belladonna]

85. Why, I have no idea whatsoever what you're implying there

But I think you're tied with Mr Scorpio now :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

87. One last point

Think: The Titanic. Going down as soon as it could, and staying down indefinitely.

If I might add, I don't think that it should be a choice between myself and MrScorpio. Why should you settle? Though I've never gotten great grades for sharing with others, I also see that other posters here have numerous boy toys. You should indulge in as many as you wish. See? I'm giving to a fault.

[belladonna]

88. Well hey, I have no objections

And Mr. Scorpio seems like a laid back kinda guy... I bet he won't mind sharing boy toy duties :D

[MrScorpio]

81. This wouldn't be the first time that I had to meet terms like these

Feels like old times

[belladonna]

83. Something about the way you say that.....

Makes me want to know more.... sooo much more :D

[miss_kitty]

86. My kitty cat

is in kitty cat heaven. O8)

But it's been 18 years+ for the avatar kitty-the same length of time I had her. She's part of everything I do because of that. If I didn't have Sammy to think back on, it would have been a much lonelier time for me growing up :). And less good memories.

[belladonna]

89. A kick for the night crew

Or the mods who forgot to lock it :D