I'm feeling especially slow. Let's blatantly pad my post count!

[short bus president]

I must say I'm sick and tired of my small post size. I want to be enhanced. I want to be able to better please my, er... well... my hand. So my friends, today, I am FINALLY ANSWERING THE SPAM!!! Ask me anything.

[VelmaD]

1. If it takes a hen and a half...

a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a rooster sitting on a basket of billiard balls to hatch a hardware store?

[short bus president]

6. Melvin.

:D

[VelmaD]

12. Wow.

I'm impressed.

Ok, when's the next train in? When's the next train out? How deep is that mudhole? And how much are those bananas?

[short bus president]

13. I dunno ANY of those things.

But the doggie in the window was 20 Won. 50 Won prepared.

:D

[short bus president]

43. PAD

[kick-ass-bob]

2. dude. I've been doing this for a month now.

Where have you been?

[short bus president]

7. In, out, around

you know - in the bathroom... with the lotion...

:D

[short bus president]

44. PAD

[thestatusquo]

3. How do you feel about Jane Austen novels?

I love them, but I can see why other people don't. Waht is your stance on this issue?

[short bus president]

8. Do they have nekkid pictures in 'em?

I don't read much without nekkid pictures in it.

:D

[short bus president]

45. PAD

[redqueen]

4. Do you like spam?

I think it's okay if it's fried.

[short bus president]

9. not so much

I like deviled ham, though, and that's pretty much like the top layer of the stuff they scrape off the floor to make spam, so same difference, right?

Never had it fried. And that's odd. I love to fry things.

[redqueen]

11. Not deep fried

just pan fried. It's the best way to make yucky stuff less yucky. Works on bologna, too.

I can only eat deviled ham mixed with massive amounts of mayonnaise. So naturally, that doesn't happen often.

Yum, white trash cuisine. :)

[short bus president]

46. PAD

[Maiden England]

5. let me just jump on your bus for the ride

ooh er missus.....

[short bus president]

10. jump, hell.

if you ask nice, I'll even let you board via the wheelchair lift.

:D

[Maiden England]

27. wohooo!!

now that's an offer a girl can't refuse

[short bus president]

32. is that so?

Wanna see the nekkid shortbus pictures? ;-)

[Maiden England]

42. I've already seen them, but a gratuitous repost would help your count

[short bus president]

47. PAD

[short bus president]

14. AHEM! You people are not padding... let's do some padding, here

I say words.

[DS1]

15. I want my nipples back, do you?

[short bus president]

16. you are an evil, evil, evil, evil person

"I want my nipplesback nipplesback nipplesback. I want my nipplesback nipplesback ribs."

Fucking television, Chili's and DSI have conspired to destroy my life!

[DS1]

17. DSwhat?

:nuke:

[short bus president]

18. Oh, yeah - you thought I didn't know, right?

Friggin' scurvy ROMAN bastard!

[DS1]

20. Roman eye for the strong guy

/got nothin

[short bus president]

21. when you ain't got nothin'

you got nothin' to lose, or something to that effect.

So, when I finally get some snow here, roman numerals are out, huh?

[DS1]

24. actually I'm busy wondering why my nipple server is down

First time it's happened, first time I've posted a picture of someone with flashing nipples, I wonder if they're related.

Yes, I know sigs are off.

[short bus president]

25. man, if I had a nipple for every time I heard that...

:P

[DS1]

39. turns out I busted the 5 GB limit per month with boobies

shit

[short bus president]

41. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Serves you right, you nipple klepper!

[JimmyJazz]

31. aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww - I really miss your nipples!

[short bus president]

33. work on yer aim

and yer timing. They're hard to see when they flash off.

[short bus president]

48. PAD

Pud.

[Debi]

19. Do you mean 'enhance'

like the Wonder Bra?

[short bus president]

22. Are you suggesting that my manboobies are problematic?

I tweak my nipple in your general direction! And kinda like it!

[Debi]

23. I just thought you could use some support...

Like Double "D" support

[short bus president]

26. I dunno.

I've tried XX support, but it tasted like Tijuana sewer water.

I'm gonna try duct tape before I buy any lingerie, though.

;-)

[Debi]

38. Hmmmm silk or adhesive

Which would be better?

[short bus president]

49. PAD

[GoddessOfGuinness]

28. Since a picture is worth a thousand words...

Here's 3,000 pads for you:

[short bus president]

34. Wow - I feel like I've just been down aisle 8a

at the Petsmart.

:D

[belladonna]

29. Dupe

Sorry, I get all excited when I mention my new hubby :D

[belladonna]

30. Okay, I'll help out

Have you met my new husband? Isn't he great?? :evilgrin:

[short bus president]

36. I haven't been able to make myself look

you see, I'm the type of guy who frequently feels inadequate while strolling through the produce section.

:P

[belladonna]

40. But my new hubby has something for the guys too

C'mon, don't be afraid... go look :evilgrin:

[short bus president]

50. THAI!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

[short bus president]

51. What? C'mon - surely you know how to play this game...

You're supposed to get up and chase me around the circle, and then give me diarrhea. Not ringing any bells?

[qnr]

35. When someone becomes a vampire, does their blood type change?

Are they suddenly a universal recipient? Or does it not matter because they're already dead. or what?

[short bus president]

37. the question is MOOT!

One cannot transfuse a vampire. Good effin' luck finding a vein, anyway!

[DrZeeLit]

52. Oh, Mr. Short Bus? Mr. Short Bus? What do you think about life on...

...Mars?

And why do you think we aren't going? I mean, I thought we WERE going, but somehow that idea seemed to die. Why do you think?

Oh, and blatantly, you can take TWO posts to work on this one.
Because, I really did ask TWO questions.

I wanted to be just as bold and blantant as you have been.
You are my post idol.

I'm closing in on 600.
I"m not worthy, but show me the light.