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bush1 and one term of bush2. while these times feel uniquely scary, i do recall feeling like i do today many times in the past. the clinton years were an anomaly, a time when i rarely gave a thought to the ruling class; i felt free to live my life as i wished and all of my anxieties were centered on myself and those i loved. my daily world was much smaller than it is today, partly due to the internet, i am tempted to think globally, rather than being concerned with my own tiny piece of the world.
this is not advice, but i'll tell you how i am working to feel once again at peace on this planet: when i imagine the world as a whole, i am reminded of my ludicrous prosperity--and i earn less than 12thousand a year--as evidenced most obviously by the fact that i am now sitting at a computer writing to you. then i frankly ask myself this question: why do i believe that my life should be free of hardships and restriction, when this is the norm for most of the world and much of this nation?
there is a reason that the theme of most enduring works of art is triumph over oppression: it is the essential stuff of this life. yes, the world feels many degrees more dangerous than it did 24 hours ago, but do consider keeping your focus on your own small community as you continue with the work that you have chosen to value, whether it pays or doesn't pay.
and when your grief turns to anger, as i'm sure it will in due time, have a plan in place for a mission or a goal that requires the energy of a righteous anger, someplace for you to take that energy for your own good and for the good of others. and this helps me to maintain perspective: half of this country bothered to vote. of that half, half chose kerry and the other half chose bush. i'm very bad at math, but it seems to suggest that only a fourth of this nation backs gw. in any event, breaking plates on the sidewalk does wonders for my wife in times like these. on my way home from work i stopped at the goodwill store and bought her a box of old china so she can unwind tonight while i throw paint at a canvas on the wall. do whatever works. as for your panic attack: there is nothing wrong with you; you are not alone in these feelings, which merely prove you are a living, breathing, compassionate person. i worry about those who never admit to anxiety, because its expression lessens its intensity.
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