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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 10:55 AM
Original message
What's the Alternative to Church?
My wife was in Chicago (Oak Park) this weekend, visiting her grandma. Sunday morning they decided to visit the Unitarian church for services -- mostly because the church was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

We're not churchgoers, not even particularly spiritual. But my wife came away from the experience having enjoyed it. And she posed a great question: what's the alternative to church?

We both like the idea of sort of getting a little coming-together, getting a little spiritual message to take away every week. But for those who eschew scripture, and get a little put off by preachiness -- what's to do? Is there any substitute for the experience religious folks get in a church, for somewhat non-religious folk like us? Anyone ever ponder this?
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el_gato Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 10:58 AM
Response to Original message
1. Yoga
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Ergotron Donating Member (131 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 10:59 AM
Response to Original message
2. Alternative to church
A 'church' is either a physical building or a group of people choosing to congregate together to express a shared belief in their interpretation of God. The alternative is forming your own church, or simply worship as you wish in the privacy of your home. One does not have to belong to an organized church to be religious or believe in a God.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:00 AM
Response to Original message
3. Budhisim
Check out your local temple or Zen meditation group.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
4. Bike ride in the country.
Wasn't there an essay once with "God" saying something like "Don't look for me in those stuffy little houses full of stuffy little people, look for me in the mountains..."

I'm not religious. I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I enjoy and am constantly delighted with what I see out on my little journeys...
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wtmusic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:09 AM
Response to Reply #4
15. I think it's those new bike shorts
making the blood rush to your head!
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 01:33 PM
Response to Reply #15
41. Yeah, but Saturday's headwind had me seeing black...
I should take my wind gauge along. Methinks NOAA makes up shit like temp and wind speed....
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wryter2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:01 AM
Response to Original message
5. Don't know
But if you enjoyed the Unitarian service, why not go back there? There are always nature walks, too.

There's a very wide variety of churches, and there ought to be one that's right for you. Lots of faiths respect intellect and don't demand unquestioning acceptance of authority. I'd be interested to hear what you find.
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buckfush2 Donating Member (404 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:04 AM
Response to Reply #5
10. I agree
Most UUs are not churches but fellowships, where a great deal of democracy and anti-dogmatic feeling holds sway. You can be anything from atheist to devout believer, and still get a lot out of the UU community. Most of the open minded progressive leaders in my town are UUs and its anice experience to be able to fellowship with them without fundies and bush lovers all around you.

Go back and make it your home!
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Flying_Pig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
6. You might check out...
Native American spiritual teachings. Based on Nature, nothing is more pure. I've found it to be extremely pleasing to my senses, spiritual and otherwise.
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wryter2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:02 AM
Response to Original message
7. Or Wicca, perhaps? eom
eom
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Robb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:04 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Wicca, Buddhism, bike rides etc.
I've done the intellectual part before, and I've felt uplifted out hiking and such. It's the coming together part I'm wondering if there's an analog for....
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
8. Or go Unitarian
otensibly Christian, very socially active and progressive, and with a strong belief in the validity of other religious expression, which might at times also be integrated into their own worship services. Sort of a Christianity Lite (no offense intended to the Unitarians out there - I admire the Unitarian Church - I mean "lite" in the sense of without much doctrine or dogma or rigidity in belief).
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soleft Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #8
21. yeah, sounds like you enjoyed the Unitarian place
I'm an atheist but I've thought of going.
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bloom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:05 AM
Response to Original message
11. RE: what's to do?
You could consider trying a liberal quaker, unprogrammed meeting. They would vary with the community - but that is the solution that I have found.

I've been to the Oak Park Unitarian church - for the same reason you went. And I've been to other Unitarian churches. For me - even Unitarians have too much of a service.

In a Quaker unprogrammed meeting, you don't have the whole scripted thing. (Some people like that and that is fine - but I don't). People speak when they feel moved to speak and have something worth saying.

You get the fellowship and the potlucks. And they are very politically active - for peace and all.

You might like it.
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Dufaeth Donating Member (764 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:06 AM
Response to Original message
12. Sleep in. : ) n/t
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mac56 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:07 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. That's my approach.
I tell people I'm a Seventh-Day Somnambulist.
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Champion Jack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:54 AM
Response to Reply #13
28. ha ha !!!
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Casper Donating Member (121 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:07 AM
Response to Original message
14. Utne reader groups
when i lived in ann arbor michigan there were Utne reader groups that met once or twice a month to discuss issues of the day as well as literture and art. it was very stimulating and enjoyable. we all got to be quite friendly. there was usually food involved ala potluck or something.

i do ponder this, as well. most activities, like political activism, work with the homeless, mentoring children, etc. involve true "activities" or tasks. church, on the other hand, is a experience in itself. of course, churches to participate in activities but they are usually in addition to the regularly scheduled services.

we have a small group of friends that get together about 6 or 7 times a year for wine tastings and readings. we rotate from one members home to the next, pick a location from which we will taste wines (france, spain, etc.) and everyone brings something to read. it's not quite church but it is a get-together with a purpose, but not a true "task".

just my thoughts.
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Mari333 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:12 AM
Response to Original message
16. My husband and I bought a large stained glass window
we found at an antique store..it says THE CHURCH on it...we put it up right at the entrance to our woods..
For me, there is no better place then the forest to contemplate the beauty of life. Im not into any religion, but, as I recall, someone said "the kingdom of god is within" ..soooo, I guess all that is beautiful and divine is just where I am, and how I percieve where I am.
(on the other hand, Wal Mart makes me feel like Im in Hell.)
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dofus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:15 AM
Response to Original message
17. If you can simply get together
often enough (however you define often enough) with like-minded people, who needs a formal church? My husband recently joined the Unitarians, but as someone else said, they have too much of a church-like service for my taste. But they are very involved in wonderful community kinds of things, bring in speakers of all kinds, have forums we go to regularly.

Back last fall my husband somehow sought out and connected with three separate groups -- Unitarians, and atheist group, and a Thursday night teach-in largely sponsored by American Friends Service whatever. There's a lot of crossover among those people. He doesn't do DU, but does do a lot of other on-line things. If not for the internet we really would be living in a full-blown dictatorship at this point.
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lazarus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:15 AM
Response to Original message
18. sleep
Leastways, that's what I'm doing on Sunday mornings. :evilgrin:
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ieoeja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
19. Watching Football at the Local Bar

As a Bears fan, we are apparently in one of those "punish the chosen people for disobediance" periods.
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #19
32. I feel your pain, I truly do...
as a Bear fan myself...

I don't consider what to do instead of go to church. I'm not religious, necer have been, so churches and their teachings are outside of my spiritual reality.

That's like saying, what do I do instead of Mountain Climbing or Space Travel.
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emad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
20. People are always trying to find something alternative to do .....
instead of making love. Church is popular because it's 'wholesome' and the kids can tag along. Of course, there's always The Pub, or a sports event, or a car boot sale (No 1 UK sunday activity) etc.
As for the experience religious folk get in church - rapture, I think they call it - it's pretty tame stuff compared to orgasm. But it's popular...
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SonofMass Donating Member (225 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
22. This is
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thom1102 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:25 AM
Response to Original message
23. Quakers have a very non scriptural brand of belief system...
From what I know of it, which is admittedly little.
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maxanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
24. there are all kinds of UU fellowships
some with a more Christian orientation than others. I go to my local UU church when I can - for me it's spirituality with a social conscience.

The Social Concerns Committee does a lot of positive work in the community. I'm on the SCC, even though I'm not a member of the fellowship. We organized a forum on the Patriot Act in July, with a speaker from ACLU in opposition and a speaker from the US AG's office, speaking in support of. It was hugely attended - and a group is springing up south of here that wants to do the same thing - they called today to ask for my help.

As they say up here, "its the church of the open mind and the open heart."
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midnitemoleman Donating Member (589 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
25. Church should NOT me about you!
It is not ment to me about you, it is about remembering Christ. That is the whole idea of Communion, as in "do this in rememberance of me". Of course the me is Christ. Each church in unique in its own way, so just shop till you find the right fit. If the church makes you feel un-comfortable then it has to be one of two things. 1-The chruch has lost its way in the teachings that made it in the first place (very common I mite add). 2nd- Is it is you (relax please), I speak from experiance. I was a drug dealing bad guy (very, very bad). I hooked up with the Cript's in a city housing project. I have seen my fair share of every thing. Over-dose, Theft, hurting people (that was my job), and to much murder. The best lesson I ever learned was Humility. Its God, family (spouse & kids), others, then me is the way to happyness.
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Cheswick2.0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #25
33. hi MMM
I appreciate your post.

I have a close relative who was involved in drugs and I am thankful that you are not doing what you were anymore. My addict never got farther into the criminality than making deliveries to pay for his next fix. I am also thankful for that.

Bless you and your family.

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AndyTiedye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #25
40. where it all began
> Is there any substitute for the experience religious folks get in a church, for
> somewhat non-religious folk like us?

Dancing under the stars until the morning comes.


(Actually, this is the original, "church" is a recent substitute)
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:50 AM
Response to Original message
26. I'm a "church person" but...
I have had quasi-spiritual experiences connected with both the arts and nature.
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demnan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:53 AM
Response to Original message
27. How about AA meetings?
They tell interesting stories too.
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maxanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:59 AM
Response to Reply #27
29. yes we do
but "tourists" should only attend open meetings.
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kimchi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
30. There is no equivalent alternative to church.
But, as others have suggested, you don't need a building, a book, or a preacher. You just need a group of people who feel like you do, who want to come together in celebration of life. You can have "church" in your living room, in a park, by the sea-wherever you most get a feeling of contentment and peace.

And if you DO seek God, you certainly don't need anyone else telling you HOW to do so, WHAT church you need, or WHO God is. That is something only your humanity and heart can tell you.

Good luck, and for goodness sake, have a little fun in your worship!
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
31. Unitarian or Ethical Unions are nice.
I'm an Atheist that has enjoyed both.
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Castilleja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
34. I would say just looking around at nature
watching a bird, maybe. Or looking at the stars, or looking at the horizon at the beach. Sitting under big trees. Growing things you like. Watching your kids grow up and develop ideas and cogent thoughts. Realizing that you are glad you are here in the world.

Or I could be wrong... ;)
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einsteins stein Donating Member (398 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:03 PM
Response to Original message
35. What about DU?
If politics is an alternate to religion, then surely DU is the alternate to church ;-)
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SiouxJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
36. Music is my religion
My Sunday morning ritual would involve putting on some great music and making a great breakfast. Some excellent coffee is an important part of it too. It revitalizes me. If you have someone to share it with all the better. Just make a point to do it every Sunday (or Saturday if you prefer) and make it sort of like a ritual, same as church goers do.


Actually, I'm thinking of switching to Saturday morning as I like to run my errands on Sunday morning while everyone else in this town is in church (this is a very Christian town). There's no traffic, lots of close parking spaces and no wait for breakfast at restaurants :-) .
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Az Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:16 PM
Response to Original message
37. Was the UU church too preachy?
UU churches generally are the alternative. They have a large atheist/humanist population.

The problem comes from balancing the propogation methodology and the community. Without some form of propogation there is not going to be a surviving community. So the further away from dogma and doctrine you get the more voluntary the association becomes. At some point the inducement to propogate the association breaks down enough that stagnation sets in and the community will cease to function.

For my taste the best balance I have come across has been UU churches. They have no dogma. They favor tolerance and openess. Their messages and propogation tend to be built around humanity rather than some artificial construct.
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histohoney Donating Member (584 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:22 PM
Response to Original message
38. The church is also about growth.

The Church is about Love, God's love for all his children (He gives us forgivness in his son Christ, and help with the Holy Spirit.) It's also about YOUR growth in your walk with Christ, and some times growth hurts. You have to think about bothersome things, learn new ideas and learn to say "no" when you might want to say yes.
Look around, visit different denominations,maybe you could find some like minded to start a outdoors group that meet on bike rides, our just under the trees(I have a friend that meets with fellow bikers, motorcycle group), the Bible never said you had to have a building, The Church is PEOPLE who love God and Christ.
There is no substatution for God, Christ and people working toward the right path.O8)
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FlaGranny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 12:29 PM
Response to Original message
39. My alternative has always been nature.
Edited on Mon Sep-15-03 12:35 PM by FlaGranny
The woods, the beach. The stars at night. Mountains. Those things teach me about wonder, beauty, and awe. Hurricanes, earthquakes, and fire, teach me fear along with the wonder and awe. These things give me a sense of my place in the scheme of things and I don't need a preacher. If there were a god then this would be as close to him/her as you could get. A church is man-made, and while many are beautiful, they don't compare with nature, and I would actually rather experience nature in solitude.
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chadm Donating Member (480 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 02:47 PM
Response to Original message
42. Critical Thinking?
.
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Hubert Flottz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-15-03 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
43. Sex and Violins!
Soothes the savage beast!
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